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Dan F

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Yup, you're right! It clearly was a case of that. No, there's no one I have my eye on, I had joined an online dating site a while back and I put the effort in with it but nothing happened.

I guess I have to try and find something else to do to hopefully meet some one, I fully appreciate that is lazy of me but it's very tiring making the effort sometimes. I will do it though!

Thank you Pembie, you really do give great advice x

Edited by JackWilkins
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I'm just fed up with always being seen as just the sweet good friend type of guy when it comes to girls. I found out last night that the girl I have liked for ages now likes someone else I have asked her before she turned me down but I thought over time she might come to like me. Thats how it normally works for me We have been getting on really good going out together and I thought we were getting really close. I must of misread the singals. The longer I have been hanging around her the more I realised I was falling for her. I felt really happy. The happiest I would say I have felt since my ex and best mate died The person this girl likes she talks to online his from india she has never meet him in person which makes it even more silly So to lose out that way sucks big time.

Sorry for the rant I'm normally happy.

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Good that I am not the only one who sees someone and starts thinking about her. The other day I saw a girl, my cousins lifelong best friend, she is now 30 and just got divorced from her husband, and she has a 5 year old daughter. The thing is, I first met her through my cousin about 18 years ago and we used to hang out, the 3 of us. And to add to this, this girl used to fancy me when I made a visit to my aunts for the Millennium party, almost 16 years ago. She was too young then, she was 14 and I was 17. Until last Friday that was the last time I had seen her, when she fancied me while at a party in Dec 1999/January 2000.

She is now single again, but she lives 120 miles from me and she is now a single mother. When I spoke to mum about it it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. She did not advise against it but did weigh out the negatives such as the almost 3 hour drive apart and she has a daughter. I was thinking of Facebooking my cousin to say I like her friend but mum said it is best to wait until we go down to Essex again and see if I can go round my cousins when her friend is there and talk to her that way. I still wonder whether to strike while the iron is hot though. Then again, in a few days this crush on a woman who once had a crush on me may blow over.

 

Edited by Homeandawayfan.

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I agree with your Mum and think it's better to wait awhile.There are 3 main things to consider.How recently was her divorce?If it does turn out you really like her how would you feel if you turned out just to be a rebound?And more importantly are you prepared to possibly be some sort of parental figure to her daughter should things work out?You can't just walk in and out of a child's life.It's confusing and hurtful.They'll look for any reason to make it their fault.

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I agree with your Mum and think it's better to wait awhile.There are 3 main things to consider.How recently was her divorce?If it does turn out you really like her how would you feel if you turned out just to be a rebound?And more importantly are you prepared to possibly be some sort of parental figure to her daughter should things work out?You can't just walk in and out of a child's life.It's confusing and hurtful.They'll look for any reason to make it their fault.

I think she got divorced a couple of months ago. Thing is since I saw her the other day it is hard to keep my mind off her. I told mum that she used to fancy me years ago and mum said "she has just got divorced now" suggesting we could have a relationship but we later talked and she said best to wait a while until you next go down, and maybe go round cousins when her friend is there and spend some time there with this girl. I did used to hang out a few times with her and my cousin when we were children.

I am still tempted to at least send my cousin a message on FB saying that I like her friend and I wonder if next time we go down maybe I could take her out for a drink.

I think even just doing that though, it is probably best to even wait a while before I tell my cousin about this.

Edited by Homeandawayfan.

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Is there not a local hostel or friends or even family, you can ask for help? I don't know where in the world you live but even a police station or hospital would be able to help in the extreme? Please try to look after and help yourself. There is help. I hope so very very very much I've not got anything wrong in my reply here, I apologise sincerely if I have and I've also  reported your post, purely and only in the hope of being able to help you out. 

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If you're in the UK, please call 116 123, or 0800 58 58 58, immediately. Call 13 11 14 if you're in Australia. They will talk to you, and listen to you, and help you.

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