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I posted this at another forum... sorry about the typos in it and stuff :(

Soo my school life basically sucks ass

I dont have any friends my age AT ALL

I have a few friends outside of school. They're 17, 18 and going on 20. Like theyre really awesome and everything but like... in school i have nobody

and my bestiest friends ever ever ever i havent met yettt. in july and october we are but its so long and cause tehy live in england i'll only get to see them once orr twice a yearr

but yeah. the problem with school

is that people ignore me unless theyre making fun of me...

and on thursday between exams i was for the first time in three eyars actually physically bullied and made fun of to my face...

I was called all the names under the sun and the girl whacked me over the head

so i called her a fcking cnt cause i was just so fed up with all the rumors, whisperes, laughing and then the making fun of to my face

the side of my head was a bit blue and its still soree

the problem is when i cald her a fcking cnt the counellor came by and gave out hell to me and told teh vice principal

and i told her what ahppened and she was like

oh sinead shes such a sweet girl now jade i really dont believe that now you know this blaming and name calling isnt tolerated here...

and NOBODY believes me

and im so fcking upset.

im just not going to bne able to go back this september

the thought of it makes me sick

Im gonna move school after third year... i just finished second year...

but its just so far away and i failed my business exam cause of it

so imagine if it happens in my state exams next eyar.

i dont think theres advice anyone can give, i just needed to get it out

+ Im really not confident. i'm shy, dont know how o act atround people because i know im being judged and i hate the way i look... my hair is disgusting and i just look a state

I jsut ahte my life so much right now

Sorry about typos, I'm using an odd keyboard :/

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Thanks Lise, and I'm glad your Dad is doing better, that must be a comfort.

HAA girl I'm really sorry about your Gran, death sucks but it will get easier with time. *hugs*

My Gran passed away early this morning. :(

I've gotta book a ticket back to Perth so I can be with my family.

I know you shouldn't have favourites, but she was my fave grandparent.

My thoughts go out to you and your family hun *hugs*

as you can tell from my sig, I lost my grand parent not too long ago, and its still a very raw subject. My mum's bf found my 20th birthday card from nan and pop last night which I didn't get for my birthday because mum was meant to send it over for me but never got to...

I opened it, and found $30 in there, nan always had a thing for giving me money.

I read the card and the were wishing me a happy birthday and then it goes.

'So you the big 21 next year, love and miss you, see you next year for the big one.'

I balled for the next hour :'(

Thanks guys :) . I feel a little better, but I still feel awful :( . Bec - you poor thing. If I got something like that, I'd be a mess! Thanks for your thoughts :)

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Jade I'm really sorry to hear about your problems. It must be really hard when no one believes you and you get in trouble when really your the victim. I hope you make friends next year in school... I'm sure there is someone in your thats nice.

And don't worry about the JC (I assume thats what your doing) its grand,

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I posted this at another forum... sorry about the typos in it and stuff :(

Soo my school life basically sucks ass

I dont have any friends my age AT ALL

I have a few friends outside of school. They're 17, 18 and going on 20. Like theyre really awesome and everything but like... in school i have nobody

and my bestiest friends ever ever ever i havent met yettt. in july and october we are but its so long and cause tehy live in england i'll only get to see them once orr twice a yearr

but yeah. the problem with school

is that people ignore me unless theyre making fun of me...

and on thursday between exams i was for the first time in three eyars actually physically bullied and made fun of to my face...

I was called all the names under the sun and the girl whacked me over the head

so i called her a fcking cnt cause i was just so fed up with all the rumors, whisperes, laughing and then the making fun of to my face

the side of my head was a bit blue and its still soree

the problem is when i cald her a fcking cnt the counellor came by and gave out hell to me and told teh vice principal

and i told her what ahppened and she was like

oh sinead shes such a sweet girl now jade i really dont believe that now you know this blaming and name calling isnt tolerated here...

and NOBODY believes me

and im so fcking upset.

im just not going to bne able to go back this september

the thought of it makes me sick

Im gonna move school after third year... i just finished second year...

but its just so far away and i failed my business exam cause of it

so imagine if it happens in my state exams next eyar.

i dont think theres advice anyone can give, i just needed to get it out

+ Im really not confident. i'm shy, dont know how o act atround people because i know im being judged and i hate the way i look... my hair is disgusting and i just look a state

I jsut ahte my life so much right now

Sorry about typos, I'm using an odd keyboard :/

I can relate, I was never physically bullied, but mentally... I'd get called names, a slut, whore, FAT.... and i was never fat at all, I was a little chubby but I was never fat and I always wore clothes that were bigger on me because I was so self conscious of myself. Every day some one would call me fat, ugly, pudgy or something like that, and then my mum and dad split up so things were worse when I got home, so I started doing the only thing I could to try and get rid of the pain.

I would cut myself, wrists, legs, and would always wear jeans or long sleeved t-shirts and wrist bands.

Things got worse at school, groups would bully me and I'd feel worse and worse about myself, then my mum got a new bf two weeks after her and dad split, and he cracked onto me and told me to forget about dad and that he was our new father, so I split, I ran away from home, for two weeks mum didn't know if I was ok or not because I wouldn't turn my phone on unless it was to set my alarm, I wouldn't tell anyone where I was...

I then felt so bad about myself, that everything came to ahead and as well as cutting myself, I started eating and purging, and developed bulimia... all because I hated myself, my life, and I was being mentally bullied at school...

After I left high school things got worse for me, I was in a major car accident and fractured my back, I had to get help to shower, dress, do my hair, everything I could do before I couldn't do, so I sank further into depression and when I started college, would start eating and purging there too, would be cutting myself three times a day and never smiled.

I was so down, I even tried to commit suicide (I wont go into that)

Eventually I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder! and was put on medication!

Things are better now though, I got help because my friends and family took out an intervention on me. I still have my days where I just want to crawl into a ball and die, I'm not on any medication anymore and my eating disorder is still very much a part of my life... there are days when I just want to binge and purge, but I try and stop myself from going there again!

So dont give up, I didn't and still havent, I used to be shy but now I'm a bit of a loud mouth and if people dont accept me for who I am, then thats there problem, I came to believe that people only picked on me because they were jealous........

Just keep telling yourself, things will get better, because slowly.... they will

. Bec - you poor thing. If I got something like that, I'd be a mess! Thanks for your thoughts :)

Yes, I was a mess, and your very welcome. if you ever need to talk, I'll be happy to listen

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:o:unsure: Oh my god Bec, you've been through alot!

I too was bullied at high school for two-three years, my friend tried to kill herself but she never told me this herself I heard from one of my friends mum's. I know it's hard but you'll get through it, stick with your friends. If you can't speak to a counsellor on the phone or face-to-face go on kidshelpline and talk to a counsellor online. That's what I did.

It's funny I've read through quite a number of stories in this thread and home and away have explored some of the issues discussed on here.

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Bec! :o All I can say is that I'm so sorry! I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must've been for you. I'm always here. x :)

I was also bullied when I was younger, for about three or four years. I too looked for an "out" and that also involved me trying to purge, but never successfully doing so; I'd just break down and cry. I haven't been bullied for about two and a half years now, but ever since, I've struggled with depressive episodes, where I recently discovered cutting. Anyway, won't discuss that now. I lost my Great-Grandma and one of my cats in Sept. '07, in the space of two weeks. I didn't find out that my Great-Grandma had died until the day of her funeral, 5 days after she actually passed. And by that stage I had no choice but not to go; not because I didn't want to, but because I could never get there as it was in another state. I was really angry, plus devastated and distraught so that wasn't a very good mix...

I'm so sorry for your losses Hattie, HAA Girl 08 and Bec. Thinking of you all. :)

Loss is a really hard thing, and all you can do is pray that you will get through... They're in a better place, though. And at peace.

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The constant bullying took its toll on me which caused me to have anxiety attacks in year 10. I didn't really get any professional help just read a few books. I'm trying to manage it the best way possible. Even if I needed or wanted some help my mum wouldn't approve of me seeing a counsellor. I don't know why....anyway, Bec there are lots of people like you out there you're not alone :)

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The constant bullying took its toll on me which caused me to have anxiety attacks in year 10. I didn't really get any professional help just read a few books. I'm trying to manage it the best way possible. Even if I needed or wanted some help my mum wouldn't approve of me seeing a counsellor. I don't know why....anyway, Bec there are lots of people like you out there you're not alone :)

I know I'm not alone, and I think thats why I like writing so much, because if you've read some or all of my fic's, most of them are based on a personal experience. Writing has now become my 'out' and I enjoy it so much that once I start writing I cant stop, I get all these idea's in my head, and end up turning them into something I've been through, I think thats why so many people like my emotional scene's...

because I write them about me :)

I still struggle a lot, and I think with everything I've been through, I consider myself a much stronger person then who I used to be, yes I still have my day's, and I can't trust a lot of people. especially males after the abuse ( I wont go into that on here, a bit too confronting) but I try and give everyone the benefit of the doubt, unless they do something that makes me uncomfortable, then I turn and run as far and fast as I can, something I cant control either.

The same with eating, when I'm stressed or upset or something, I stop eating, also something I cant control its just the way my eating disorder has worked out now.

I guess the main thing is, I now appreciate life and who I have in my circle, like my family and really close friends that know all my secrets and what skeletons I have in my closet :) haha

You never forget being bullied, and the slightest comment hit a nerve with me all the time if anyone mentions being fat, but it's something I have to work through, day by day, and I guess things haven't been so good lately because of my nan dying because she and my mum were my main support, they encouraged me along and believed in me 100%.

But hopefully things will be looking up for me, Im going for my P's driving test on friday, so am looking forward to that, now I just need a job and I'm set

and thankyou everyone for all your lovely comments and support!

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because if you've read some or all of my fic's, most of them are based on a personal experience. Writing has now become my 'out' and I enjoy it so much that once I start writing I cant stop, I get all these idea's in my head, and end up turning them into something I've been through, I think thats why so many people like my emotional scene's...

Yeah personal experience is starting to show a little in my fic Healing the wounds but I'm kinda of scared revealing personal things like that you know it's hard. So good on you. :P You're brave :lol:

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because if you've read some or all of my fic's, most of them are based on a personal experience. Writing has now become my 'out' and I enjoy it so much that once I start writing I cant stop, I get all these idea's in my head, and end up turning them into something I've been through, I think thats why so many people like my emotional scene's...

Yeah personal experience is starting to show a little in my fic Healing the wounds but I'm kinda of scared revealing personal things like that you know it's hard. So good on you. :P You're brave :lol:

Trust me, its hard at first, very hard because you dont know how people are going to react, but I've been told so many times how brave I am for revealing something so personal, so the same goes for you as well :)

And thankyou

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