emmasi Posted August 31, 2008 Report Share Posted August 31, 2008 EDIT: Nevermind. 2012. Four more years. None of this will matter then. I've dealt with it this long, I can deal with it for four more years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lolajaney Posted August 31, 2008 Report Share Posted August 31, 2008 sorry if this a bit cloak and dagger....it's just hard aden's storyline is bringing back memories that have been repressed for a while and also some anger towards members of my family... realising i have been trying to block this for almost four times, since the last time something really bad happened... i love the storyline but it's a case of... what if i could change my past? why can't i stop the hateful feelings so many years on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffygirl Posted August 31, 2008 Report Share Posted August 31, 2008 sorry if this a bit cloak and dagger....it's just hard aden's storyline is bringing back memories that have been repressed for a while and also some anger towards members of my family... realising i have been trying to block this for almost four times, since the last time something really bad happened... i love the storyline but it's a case of... what if i could change my past? why can't i stop the hateful feelings so many years on? The trouble of watching storylines like this if it's happen to you it does bring it all back, it's like a memory block. You block it out until you're reminded again, by simply watching a soap and you think yep I know what that feel like, then you go into a slight denial cause it's a soap opera your watching... what do they know! Lolajaney.. The most hard and hurtful thing is you cannot change whats happened... I don't know whats happen to you but by your post i sense you've kept all your feeling inside bottled them up 'cause you feel ashamed or scared to let it out. I'd say is there someone you can confine in, it 's sometimes works with a person who's not biased, ..in which i mean a trusted friend... with abuse trust is such a issue, You wont stop those feelings of hate... more rightly let down by the people you love cause they should have been there for me.. the hardest thing it to talk to a family member to get it all out in the open, until that , it'll keep haunting you. I will tell you you do learn to live with it, once you've confronted it , you learn to deal, and realise it wasn't my fault and that you have a choice whether you let it keep controlling your life or not. PM me if you want to talk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lolajaney Posted August 31, 2008 Report Share Posted August 31, 2008 it's not that i haven't discussed it, i've had councilling on and off since i was in junior school. it's just that i could never say some things as i know that some things are best left unsaid, especially as it would probably end all communication with most of my family if i said these things. i supposed i'm lucky as most of my childhood is sketchy at the best and my family have since split so i dont see the person involved. i never really meant to write anything in here but i was tired and emotional due to a lack of sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rising-flame Posted September 1, 2008 Report Share Posted September 1, 2008 sometimes talking to people who are effectivly annomous can help. I found a unique way to calm myself down. Skydiving. My therapist hasnt' called me back, but on saturday i decided to skydive (i was at an airfield supporting friends who were doing it for charity). I found it relaxing and very calming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whispered_envy Posted September 1, 2008 Report Share Posted September 1, 2008 This is my story (I'll try to keep it short). So this year I decided to defer from uni so that I could work for the year and get some money together before I moved out. However, whenever I tried to get a job or actually got one, I kept having panic attacks from fear of people judging/hating me. I went to see a psychologist, and he diagnosed me with Social Anxiety, and we've been doing some cognitive behavioural therapy to help me get past my anxiety. I was having a pretty horrible time dealing with it all, and it's taken me this long (since about April when I was diagnosed) to actually feel like I'm ready to get a job. My friend just recently (who knows about my anxiety) said that she could get me a job working with her, part time at a cafe/takeaway shop. She is even the one training me, which takes a hell of a load off my back, because otherwise I'd still be anxious that the person is judging me badly. Now, what I'm starting to get scared about, is that once I'm trained up, I'm going to have the responsiblity and have to deal with customers/making food on my own, and I'm going to stuff up really badly and everyones going to hate me and that I'll let my friend down and I'll get fired and just be a royal screw-up. I don't want to think like this, and I know I shouldn't and it'll be easier once I know my way around the place, but I can't help myself. I need reassurance. And advice. Please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maccaz Posted September 1, 2008 Report Share Posted September 1, 2008 This is my story (I'll try to keep it short). So this year I decided to defer from uni so that I could work for the year and get some money together before I moved out. However, whenever I tried to get a job or actually got one, I kept having panic attacks from fear of people judging/hating me. I went to see a psychologist, and he diagnosed me with Social Anxiety, and we've been doing some cognitive behavioural therapy to help me get past my anxiety. I was having a pretty horrible time dealing with it all, and it's taken me this long (since about April when I was diagnosed) to actually feel like I'm ready to get a job. My friend just recently (who knows about my anxiety) said that she could get me a job working with her, part time at a cafe/takeaway shop. She is even the one training me, which takes a hell of a load off my back, because otherwise I'd still be anxious that the person is judging me badly. Now, what I'm starting to get scared about, is that once I'm trained up, I'm going to have the responsiblity and have to deal with customers/making food on my own, and I'm going to stuff up really badly and everyones going to hate me and that I'll let my friend down and I'll get fired and just be a royal screw-up. I don't want to think like this, and I know I shouldn't and it'll be easier once I know my way around the place, but I can't help myself. I need reassurance. And advice. Please. OK. Let me try... Do your parents or anyone else close to you know about the social anxiety? Because if they don't, you should really tell them. It will be 10 times worse if it blows up and they don't know about it. And as to your job - I had similar feelings in regards to uni. I thought that I would fail and disappoint my parents. But I proved myself wrong. I guess what I'm trying to say here is - just do your best. Even if you don't do well, you still have people close to you like your family and that friend of yours who love you, care about you and will support you through everything you do, no matter what. I'm not a professional counsellor, but hopefully this helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whispered_envy Posted September 1, 2008 Report Share Posted September 1, 2008 This is my story (I'll try to keep it short). So this year I decided to defer from uni so that I could work for the year and get some money together before I moved out. However, whenever I tried to get a job or actually got one, I kept having panic attacks from fear of people judging/hating me. I went to see a psychologist, and he diagnosed me with Social Anxiety, and we've been doing some cognitive behavioural therapy to help me get past my anxiety. I was having a pretty horrible time dealing with it all, and it's taken me this long (since about April when I was diagnosed) to actually feel like I'm ready to get a job. My friend just recently (who knows about my anxiety) said that she could get me a job working with her, part time at a cafe/takeaway shop. She is even the one training me, which takes a hell of a load off my back, because otherwise I'd still be anxious that the person is judging me badly. Now, what I'm starting to get scared about, is that once I'm trained up, I'm going to have the responsiblity and have to deal with customers/making food on my own, and I'm going to stuff up really badly and everyones going to hate me and that I'll let my friend down and I'll get fired and just be a royal screw-up. I don't want to think like this, and I know I shouldn't and it'll be easier once I know my way around the place, but I can't help myself. I need reassurance. And advice. Please. OK. Let me try... Do your parents or anyone else close to you know about the social anxiety? Because if they don't, you should really tell them. It will be 10 times worse if it blows up and they don't know about it. And as to your job - I had similar feelings in regards to uni. I thought that I would fail and disappoint my parents. But I proved myself wrong. I guess what I'm trying to say here is - just do your best. Even if you don't do well, you still have people close to you like your family and that friend of yours who love you, care about you and will support you through everything you do, no matter what. I'm not a professional counsellor, but hopefully this helps. Yeah, my mum knows about the anxiety- my father died a few years ago. And my boyfriend is very supportive as well. I just feel incredibly bad for always relying on them for support- I feel as if I burden them too much. Thanks for your words- I'm really trying to be positive. I'm just so used to doubting myself, it's a struggle to believe anything else sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenlee Posted September 1, 2008 Report Share Posted September 1, 2008 In response to whispered_envy: I have the same problem. I havn't been diagnosed with Social Anxiety as such but have suffered depression on and off for years and about two years ago in turned into what you are describing, constant stress of people judging me. I think you should let your friend know how stressed you are, that way if you do something wrong (as we all do) then she will understand if you get upset. Plus she will be extremely encouraging and trying to keep your spirits up and keep your mind off what is stressing you out. Also don't fret too much about relying on your mum and bf. I know it's easier said than done but try and remember that they love you and that is what they are there for. I don't know if this helps at all but I hope so lol. Also if you need to talk or simply stress out loud feel free to PM me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claire_louise Posted September 1, 2008 Report Share Posted September 1, 2008 Whispered Envy: I also have social phobia and agoraphobia so I can totally relate to your situation. It took a long while for me to get a job because it was important for me to find somewhere that I felt comfortable, and a group of people who would be friendly and supportive. It sounds like you've found that with the cafe job so I really think you should go for it if you feel able. Don't get me wrong, it will be hard, but in my experience it's worth it. I know it sounds hard to believe but over time you'll start to realise that other people's opinions aren't as important as you think (I know how difficult that is to believe as it's something I struggle with myself). If you make a mistake, people aren't going to hate you - everyone makes mistakes at work on a daily basis. But if they get annoyed with you, so what? If people can't appreciate that you're doing your best they aren't worth bothering with. Just remember it's them with the problem, not you. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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