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Dan F

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^^ Thanks for the hugs.

Well today's been better than yesterday. I went for the medical and passed no worries. Although my blood pressure was a little high but it was only because I was nervous.

I've decided that I'm going to do it. I need a career change and this is too good of an opportunity to waste. There's a probation period anyway so if I don't like it, I can quit. But I can't see that happening.

As for wanting another baby - hubby and I have decided to wait and reassess after a year. If I do, then we can because I'm entitled to 12 weeks paid maternity leave and hubby can take leave when my ends. They are well aware that I have a child so they know that I'm going to need flexibility. And I've realised that I can do both - I don't have to pick between the two.

So I'm feeling better about the whole thing. But my mother in law seems to think that it might be a bit much for me, studying, working full time and looking after the boy. She doesn't mean it in a bitchy way, she's just concerned. But it's made me more determined to suceed. I hate when people tell me I can't do something.

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I was recently taken off Income Support unfairly and have been put back on Job Seekers Allowance, where the new policy is that you have to apply for 3 jobs every 2 weeks, which is something that scares me. The woman at the Job Centre told me to appeal and I went to Citizens Advice, where they filled out the appeal form.

I got paperwork through this morning. I am now at the second hurdle of appealing and I am terrified! Am I doing the right thing? Am I delusional in thinking I can win this appeal? :unsure:

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Me and my boyfriend of two years just broke up. It's been coming for ages and we've been fighting more than not fighting so it didn't make sense to stay together but...I feel so rubbish. It's midnight and I am so knackered but I can't sleep at all because I'm so miserable. I know it is not actually the end of the world but it really feels like it at the moment. :(

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The below post contains contents about self harming, so please only read if you want to:

I went to the zoo today and had quite a good day, however, while i was there i received a text from a friend (who now works where i do) replying to mine about post but also saying that the woman on reception was really pissed off that i hadn't told her i was gonna be out today.

Problem was, this kind of upset me. I'm too soft for my own good, and at certain times of the month (like now) i can get really emotional over nothing. I think the reason is also cause last time this woman moaned about me, two friends at work gave me a list of all the issues they had with me (both work related and for one of them not so much). And that meant i pretty much felt crap all over the christmas holidays (they did it the day before we broke up for christmas). So now the fact that this woman has been complaining about me has got me all upset. I went home and after my parents got back (and could therefore keep an eye on my neice) i went up to my room and started crying, but i also started digging my fingernails into my skin. I've done it before, and left slight indentations, but this time, i wanted to draw blood. I didn't manage it, but I have now got red marks on my skin. It's the first time i've ever actually marked myself. I stupidly showed it to my mum to let her know how upset i was, which has in turn upset her. She's also going on holiday with my dad on thursday and now I'm worried that she'll spend the whole time worrying about me.

I think i'm gonna go back and have a therapy session (which she fully supports). I'm just worried and promised i'll never do it again. I've thought about it before, but never actually produced a scar, and i'm kinda worried that i'm on a slippery slope.

Does anyone have any advice, aside from not to get so worked up over the little stupid things?

Thanks for listening/reading

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Therapy is a very positive move and one I would encourage.

You say that this is worse at certain times of the month, it may be worth discussing this with your GP and seeing what (s)he says as well (possibly exacerbated by hormones? I'm not an MD so don't know for sure).

Good luck and best wishes

Sol

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