emmasi Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 UPDATE: He's fine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zetti Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 Thats great Jem.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmasi Posted February 4, 2008 Report Share Posted February 4, 2008 I know, I was overreacting... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Lynd~ Posted February 4, 2008 Report Share Posted February 4, 2008 No you weren't,my best friend is ALWAYS late and despite knowing this i always worry.It's normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isobel Posted February 4, 2008 Report Share Posted February 4, 2008 I really should f***ing take up boxing. I want to hit something, or drink until I pass out. Something, anything, something completely bad to numb this f***ing crap. No, I'm not suicidal or depressed or whatever you might be thinking. I'm an optimist, I'm very happy with my life and the person I've become. I have a lot of strength, self-pride and dignity. I'm just f***ing sick of my mother living vicariously through me, taking her sh** out on me like I'm nothing, worthless. I don't deserve this, I don't deserve her evil looks, her throwing random objects at me, her cornering me and yelling all this crap that I know is untrue and yet, it still gets to me. I hate the effect she has on me. I hate that she reduces me to a sobbing mess, I hate that she makes me feel like I'm nothing, like I want to do something reckless, like I'm at my wits end and I could snap at any given moment. I told her the other day that she makes me wish I was dead (I don't mean it), and that angered her further, and all she said was "do it, just don't make a mess on the floorboards because I'm not cleaning it up". We've always had a rocky relationship. As alike as we can be at times, I am most definitely my own person, and it's like she still can't accept that, even after 20 years. She's a clean-freak, so of course I'm just lazy. I'm spontaneous and impulsive, so of course I'm reckless. And so it goes; for every character trait of mine, there's something for her to complain about. And yet this morning, just this morning, she was being all loving and saying she's sorry for taking things out on me and that there's chocolate yogo in the fridge etc. And naturally, I ruined the night, just like I ruined yesterday because she decided to snap at nothing. Of course it's my fault. Of course I am the part of her brain that sends messages to her mouth, telling her to yell at the top of her lungs. Of course I'm the arm muscles that throws things at me. Of course it's my fault, when I'm standing there, telling her to stop yelling at me. Of course it's my fault when she tells me to 'shut the f*** up' just for expression my opinion and/or feelings. Of course it's always my fault. She's just f****** perfect. I'm going to snap. Edit to add: yes, she has hit me, not for a few months, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmasi Posted February 4, 2008 Report Share Posted February 4, 2008 That's terrible. You're mother is very lucky that I'm not her daughter, because I think I would have broken her in half by now, or died trying. I'm ready to snap over things unsaid, and bitter grumblings, and whispers behind my back, and glaring and growling and making everything my fault - the constant resentment shown to me when it wasn't MY choice to knock someone up 7 years after you were obviously over it, was it?? For that, I'm feeling murderous, so if my father actually struck me... man, he'd wake up with a salad fork in his neck. And as for my mother... it's not even worth wanting to kill her. She's so depressing that I'll kill myself and expect her to use that as an excuse to do the same. I don't want to advocate drinking but... I don't know how to finish that sentence. It tends to make me feel worse anyway. Just another excuse to resent me - the girl that wastes their hard earned money on booze and makes a drunken fool of herself. And yet, they still buy the drinks, and offer them to me at a party with a sideways glance. Go figure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Lynd~ Posted February 4, 2008 Report Share Posted February 4, 2008 As hard as it is the best thing you can do is to ignore it becourse it's the reaction they're after.Like i told you both on MSN i'm not just talking out of my a$$...I've had a LOT of experience with people,especially supposed parental figures trying to make me feel worthless.I'd usually just go to my room and listen to music till i calmed down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Di Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 R.I.P Sam 03.02.1995 - 08.02.2008 thank you for been my cat for the last 13 yrs .... My Cat passed away, after a very sudden illness. She did not suffer, thank god. I stayed with her all day. an night till she gone. I had candles, and she was on my bed. as I hugged her goodbye. She was a right cough drop, as a couple of people on here knew as they have seen what antics she got upto. She will be sadly missed. Glad I was there in the end with her.. Tom said his good byes. Before he went to sch and to chacet for the weekend. I will phone them later to let Tom know the news. Got some advice, she's wrapped up very well In one of my pink T shirts an a sheet. and in her toilet tray, Its cleaned obs. She's out of harms way. I will bury her. In a planter or huge tub, as I can take her when I have to leave the bungalow... with a very, very cool. Precent Dan got me for my birthday last yr? He got me a Name a rose set. So my rose will be called Sam. As you can, see she liked to pose, I esp love the pic of all of us. Together, she was just sat there. I got me camera.there is the pic below... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmasi Posted February 9, 2008 Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 Oh no... Di, I'm so sorry . Such a cute little thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarMar Posted February 9, 2008 Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 I'm going to my first ever psych. appointment on Monday, and I'm really scared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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