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Dan F

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I dunno. My mom drives me crazy and his family is so different from what I'm used to. His mom goes on and on about how much she loves us and I don't know how to reply. I'm not used to showing emotions like that. They don't get that I'm shy and I don't know how to act around them.

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Aww, they actually sound really nice, but I can understand why you feel awkward. Maybe T could have a word with them before he goes, just explaining that you're shy and asking them not to be so overwhelming? It sounds like they'd be good to have around, and your mum too (I know mums can be infuriating, but that goes for all of them, believe me!). It might even turn out to be a good chance to get to know them all better. But maybe I'm just being annoyingly positive! Not like me at all... :blink:

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He left half an hour ago. I'm still crying. He was crying as he left. It was so hard. I've been on the verge of having an anxiety attack several time over the last few hours. I'm so scared.

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Mar, try not to panic, he's not that far away and he's always on the other end of the phone if you need him. I know it must be really horrible, but you're not alone. The most important thing for anxiety is to remember your breathing - I've had several therapists tell me this over the years! I find that the most helpful technique is to breathe in whilst counting to 7, hold it for a second or two, then breathe out counting to 11. Just keep doing this steadily if you feel yourself panicking. It gives your brain something to focus on, if nothing else! I still think it would be really good for you to be around people right now - have you had any more thoughts about spending time with family members? Thinking of you.

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It really helps just knowing someone's reading my worries. Thank you.

I usullay have have him here talking me through the anxiety attacks. He's so good at getting my breathing back on track. It's a great tip, though - thank you.

I went with my mom to the mall earlier, after going to uni and spending ages getting back home :P Not for a long time, but an hour or so. I think I'm doing better. It's still hard - last night was horrible, but... it's better.

Thank you!

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It's good that it's getting easier already!

Just think about the positives... you'll get to see him soon. :) Also, treat yourself! Relax and take it easy. Maybe try and go out with your mum again, it might help if you start to feel down again.

:)

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He left half an hour ago. I'm still crying. He was crying as he left. It was so hard. I've been on the verge of having an anxiety attack several time over the last few hours. I'm so scared.

oh Mar! *hugs*

I can't imagine how hard that is, but remember, you have a whole board of people here if you want to talk :)

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Mar, you are a strong lady and I have faith in you. I may not have been vocal in here but I've been reading and trying to figure out what to say to you.

All I can say is believe in yourself and you'll begin to feel better. Being left alone is bloody scary but don't think of it being a bad thing. It is better to feel something than nothing, isn't it? :)

When you feel tense and scared, relax yourself with a nice hot bath or shower, followed by some chocolate and a good book. Invest in a biiig cuddly teddy and use that when you begin to really miss T :D!

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Thanks, Jess :) I've started pulling the duvet out to the couch in the evenings so that I can keep that over me while watching America's/Canada's Next Top Model (yes, I'm weird), and that helps some. I miss him on that day-to-day basis because I'm so incredibly used to being with him. Over the last four and a half years we haven't been away from each other for more than a total of maybe 20-30 days/nights, 14 of those when I was in York with uni. It's so strange going to bed alone, not being able to have him next to me.

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