Support Group

[Eli]

I'm no expert, but I would have told them. But tell the truth, don't try to make yourself completely innocent if you wasn't thay are more likely to believe you if you tell a story where you're human, not angelic. Other than that you should probably just try to talk to your sister, or send her a letter. Tell her you don't want to fight, and that you don't mean to be picking on her with the letter, tell her you just want her to know why you think your relationship is so turbulent.

Good luck

[~Lynd~]

I'd tell your parents,she can't get away with hitting you.

[Cat3]

I think that having a good crying is good for you, just think that your tears are your pains that are running out of your eyes, crying at night time before you go to sleep is also good and then when you awake in the next morning make it the first day for your new morning start.

[aejdude]

Nicole - I would definitely tell your parents. It will definitely make things better, because although your parents may be mad at first they will know the right thing to do is to never leave her with you again home alone. When it comes to physical abuse, you just have to speak up otherwise it will keep going on and on and you know that your parents would not want that.

Plus if your parents are always there from now on, and not on trips they can keep an eye on her and make sure that you are safe.

In my opinion, if she is doing that when your parents aren't around then it is good that your parents won't trust you again, for your safety at least.

Cal - My granddad died a few years back, but i never ever got to see him in my whole life, i still don't know what he looks like now, because he was my dad's dad and my dad didn't get on with him so i never got to go and visit him when he was alive. I never got to even see a picture, so i didn't grief because i had nothing to base my grievances on like everyone has said people deal with it in different ways.

[Cal]

Thanks for all the advice, Guys!

[Eli]

I just need to write this down, I'm not looking for any advice or anything.... But if you have any, please feel free to share it.

On Tuesday (28/11/06), my Granny died. That day, I was in school, knowing that at any time she could go. At 10am, when she did die, I was in Business-Org class and I got a strange feeling. Something didn't feel right, I had a feeling that it might have been it.

I know that probably sounds thick, but I felt something...

Mum didn't tell me until I got out of school that Gran had died. She didn't have to say anything, I knew by the look on her face when I got into the car. My first words were "What time?", Mum said 10am....

For some reason, I wasn't that upset. It was probably my way of dealing with it and the fact that I never was close to this Gran. (I was closer to my Mum's Mother...).

I cried a bit on the way home, but not much. When I got home, I went into the bathroom, cried for around 2 minutes... I felt so bad that I wasn't more upset.

Over the next few days, I didn't cry once. I felt so guilty and weird that I wasn't crying.

Then came Friday, which was the funeral. I kept it together until my sister had to read my Gran's favourite poem. I wasn't a blubbering mess or anything, just a few tears and quite a runny nose!

I've been fine today, but since I started writing this, I can't stop crying. I don't know why.... I'm just so confused at the moment.

I'm trying not to get too worked up either. I was told by the doctors that if I get too stressed then I could end up back in hospital, so I'm freaking out about that too! And to top it all off, my cat got really badly beaten up by the dog across the road, his face is almost hanging off him.... it's quite disgustng.

Sorry for the venting.... I feel better.

Don't feel bad for how you react! My granmother died about five years ago, and I have never cried about it even though I was pretty close to her. I don't know why, I just dealt with it in a different way. My sister on the other hand cried a lot. My point is that people deal with grief very differently, and I don't believe there's a right or wrong way to do it.

I'm not very good at this, but I hope it helped anyway

[Nicom]

Thanks guys. You helped!

I'm just gonna feel like a snitch! Lol. Oh well, I'll make snitching cool.

[Cal]

Thanks, Eli!

[~Lynd~]

As people have said there is no right or wrong way to react.I don't have a lot to do with my natural parents but when my mum called to say my uncle had died i pretty much felt the same as you Cal,a little upset but not the mess everyone expected,I barely knew the guy hadn't seen him in a few years.I felt really bad to until my foster mum said it was natural i wouldn't be devastated over someone i wasn't really close to.

[Skykat]

I agree that theres no set way to deal with grief. I know its not the same but for the past six months we've had my mum's diagnosis then two cancelled operation dates and finally a third operation that went ahead on Friday. There was a few complications and she stayed in intensive care overnight. In all this time I haven't cried over any of this, my sisters have and my Dad but not me. Yesterday afternoon we got a call to say she was being moved to a ward and went to see her. Then last night I went to this christmas ball for the skydiving centre which has been planned for months and cost me £200. I really didn't want to go and I felt really bad going but she made me promise I'd go. Anyway I was okay at first, feeling a bit distracted but then I didn't win one of the awards and I thought I should of so I went the toilets and started sobbing. I couldn't believe after everything I'd out up with the past 6months I was crying over a stupid award but it wasn't until my mate Sarah found me and I started telling her things that I realised I wasn't actually crying over the award. After I'd cried though I had a really good night and I've just been and seen my mum now and she's doing okay. But I found it so wierd that its taken me six months to actually be able to cry over this and I've felt really bad for not crying, because usually I cry over anything but I think I just dealt with it by burying my feelings and last night they all came out over a stupid thing.

Nicole I agree with others that you should tell your parents, sod being a snitch, your sister was out of line and if she's not bought into check over lying she might start on even bigger lies next.