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Inversion (by emmasi) - comments


emmasi
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Oooh I love it!!!!

Mmm where to start?

Ok, with my fav lines of course:

What would it be like if you were me? If the perfect white you wear so proudly was suddenly turned dark?

And suddenly you, the girl who everyone loves, is losing her mind and body to self-doubt. The world is insane sometimes, isn’t it?

He really did love you, you know. Lucas. He would have killed for you too. Must have been nice to feel that kind of dedication from a man.

You see, I can wear these pretty white clothes of yours, Mattie – the gentle lamb – but everyone knows that underneath, all I’ll ever be is a black wolf.

You’ve had your fling with self-loathing, and with using your blackened body to get what you want.

That is just so….good. ‘Using your blackened body’… just superb. Then to follow with:

Take back the purity and innocence that deviants like me have stolen from you, and wear it proudly once more.

The language is so strong, defiant, yet of course it’s about the vulnerability. It is Belle to a tee.

You know what it immediately reminded me of…and keeps on resonating with me: Sylvia Plath… her poetry.

Stuff like:

You do no do, you do not do

Any more, black shoe

Or

They always knew it was you.

Daddy, daddy, you bastard, I’m through

Or

Out of ash

I rise with my red hair

And I eat men like air.

Or

You have a hold, it’s a poultice.

You have an eye, it’s an image.

My boy, it’s your last resort.

Will you marry it, marry it, marry it.

A similar use of repetition and strong, elegant language.

The swap is very clever and appropriate considering they did do a kind of partner swap on the show. Such different characters – they play off each other so well – perfect for a fic. And you’ve really captured how Matilda would appear to someone like Belle – with her perfect life, pretty features, all the boys loving her deeply, sincerely – she would seem perfect, with the short period of self-doubt a mere aberration.

Really different from you too – you tend to focus on the males so to hear a story from a female pov was lovely.

Not only a different focus but a different style – shorter sentences, more blunt, to the point – it really works and is quite poetic.

My only thing would be sometimes the feelings expressed, about the mother as whore so the girl becomes whore, the ‘no one will ever love me’ insecurities… they’re a little obvious, but I guess as it is a teen pov that’s acceptable. None the less I just loved it. Well done. Oh, and the title is great!

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Oooh detailed reply. Thanks for that :D.

Yeah, I spend so much time with Robbie and Kim that when I do oneshots I like them to be different. Those for me are usually about romantic love between guys, so in oneshots I try to focus on other relationships. I've done friends, brothers, father and son, and now this one with Belle and Mattie.

I tend to find guys more interesting to write about because I have to really think about where their actions are coming from. Guys don't give much away, and yet, once you realise where they're coming from they're easier to understand. Girls tend to give everything away, but even then you can't quite understand them because you get the feeling that they don't understand themselves... Yes, that's a MASSIVE generalisation, but... eh, I dunno. It's just how I feel about writing genders :P

My Robbie and Kim ones are usually straight drama as well - I like to branch out in oneshots by doing comedy or horror (such as it is :P) or, like this one, poetry. It's fun to experiment. Glad you enjoyed it too :D

Edited by emmasi
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