Eli Posted March 3, 2007 Report Share Posted March 3, 2007 A great couple of chapters as usual, so many surprises, and so much excellent writing! Melanie remembered wondering in a strange surreal kind of way how was it possible for someone to be dead when the scent of their perfume still trailed in the air, when a gentle, warm sunlight streamed in through the open window, when there was a distant hum of early afternoon traffic as people went about their usual business...and she remembered how her own harrowing, anguished cries pierced the silence of the quiet, sunlit room... A chilling paragraph! I love how you dig deeper into details about the characters's emotions instead of just telling the facts about what's happening. Melanie shuddered at the memory, her mother’s bitter words coming back to her. Every man lets you down in the end, just like your father did. Men make you cry and leave you crumpled inside. Men use you and abuse you. I feel so sorry for Melanie! I just love her, and in the last two chapters it became much clearer how much she and Diane had in common. Sure, she hit them, treated them rough, mostly when she was drunk, but drink was her only escape and Di tried to love her kids. She could never abandon them to their father’s cruelty. God only knew what revenge Richie would take on the boys if she did. Great paragraph, it's nice to get a deeper insight in Diane's feeling too! Also I have to say I loved how you managed to get Ron to fit into everything. And the part about the bunny made me cry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerise Posted March 3, 2007 Report Share Posted March 3, 2007 Just read this Fic... wow. I really like the Idea, and your awesome at writing! Melanie shuddered at the memory, her mother’s bitter words coming back to her. Every man lets you down in the end, just like your father did. Men make you cry and leave you crumpled inside. Men use you and abuse you. That's only an example of how well you use Words, and your descriptive writing is really good. Like Eli, I feel so sorry for Melanie! I'll write a longer Commenter when I have the time Can't wait for an Update Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adia Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 Noooo... the last chapter?!? Whatever will I do...? Those last two were great. Still trying to get over the shock of all the revealations. How all the characters and thier past/present/future were all intertwined was written so well. That scene with Dani and Kane was kinda sweet. Like there was some kind of closure there between them. Especially when he commented that he "wanted to kill that sicko..." I'm looking forward to the last chapter, but at the same time I'm not... because it's the last chapter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skykat Posted March 10, 2007 Report Share Posted March 10, 2007 Right. Done. I have put both sets of comments, from the first posting of this and the recent repost altogether in one thread. I will edit this post in a few days with my comments on every chapter of this and I can only appologise for falling behind, events have overtaken me recently. I will finish my reviews though and thats a promise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted March 11, 2007 Report Share Posted March 11, 2007 The two last chapters were great! This is fanfiction at its best if you ask me! Jamie often wondered why Robbie was such a very tall kid, but thought he was a great kid just the same. I loved that part, and all the Jamie-scenes in general. He is so adorable and funny! I also liked the way you described Robbie. I also have to say this was a very good ending to the fic, it cleared up a lot and was a great way to end the fic. Hope you will write more fics and post later Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adia Posted March 11, 2007 Report Share Posted March 11, 2007 Awww, that was just the nicest ending. I'm so glad that everything turned out okay. I like how Mel stepped forward at the end there and told Jamie that the past should be in the past. I guess I liked how brave she was to do that. I'm sad that it's all over! You really are a very talented writer and I have enjoyed this fic so much. The characters really felt real to me, especially Kane and Scott. I never saw much of him on H&A, but you wrote thier past/background really well. The whole thing was just brilliant. You have a very descriptive and poetic style and that's my favourite kind of writing, it really drew me into the story. Brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessirhall Posted April 18, 2007 Report Share Posted April 18, 2007 Maybe you should publish this Fan Fiction story. I'd buy it cos i found it fantastic. Keep up the good work. I shall look for your books out in the future!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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