Eli Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 First of all, thanks Kirsty shook her head, looking round at her family through a mist of tears. "It's Kane's birthday today. I thought...I thought you'd got him a birthday present and that's why you called me here. But nothing's changed, has it? Nothing at all. You'll never believe Kane would never hurt us. You'll never forgive him for that one terrible thing he did." Loved this part, you really write in a way that could have happened on TV. The conversations are so good, and you don't change the things that never can change just to make it easier to write the story! The last glimpse of a family who would never understand. I really loved that sentence, it makes me angry how the Sutherlnads (and especially Jade) doesn't understand! I want more! I want more! Please update soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted January 6, 2007 Report Share Posted January 6, 2007 Kirsty closed the mobile, frowning. Her heart was aching for Kane. She didn't know if she would ever bring herself to tell him of her family wanting to take Kirsty and Jamie away from him when they were all he had in the world. I feel so sorry for Kane! And for Melanie too, I really truly HATE Scott Phillips! Usually I try to see a postive side in everyone for example I liked Sarah Lewis and Angie Russell and felt sorry for them, but I'm sorry, there's NOTHING I like about him. He's pure evil! I'm so glad Melanie is leaving him, but I'm really worried about Kane Please update very soon, I'm dying to read more! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adia Posted January 7, 2007 Report Share Posted January 7, 2007 More brilliant writing. Great chapter I feel sorry for Kane as well, but there is something about Scott's character that I like. I can't quite put my finger on it., I'll have a think about it though... Maybe it's just me? I'm not sure what to make of Ron just yet. Great cliffhanger, I really want to know what happens! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adia Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Great writing. I love the detail you go into, it totally draws me into the story... Glad everything was okay and they didn't hit Colleen. Her line about her admirer was soooo funny. Such a Colleen thing to say! I like deep characters... I haven't read this story before, so everything is pretty much new to me. But I love it and really enjoy reading it. Please update soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted January 9, 2007 Report Share Posted January 9, 2007 OH MY GOD!!! I read chapter 10 and 11 now, and you are getting me so into the story I actually find myself thinking what I want to happen (especially at the Dani/Melanie part) Maybe Kane wasn’t a bad person, but violence was bred in him from childhood. All it took was for him to start drinking like his father had done and he wouldn’t be able to help himself. If only Kirsty had listened. If only she’d seen that this way there would be no messy court case, no ill feelings. They’d never stop Jamie from seeing his Dad, there’d be regular supervised visits. It would all be so civilized. But Kirsty had looked at them like they hated her. So hurt, so bewildered. I really liked this part. I'm really glad that you brought up that Shelley and Rhys don't think Kane is evil, as they are still humans! The Pekinese looked totally unconvinced. The old lady’s heart flipped. The story sounded incredibly far-fetched, but she couldn’t believe anyone with such beautiful blue sparkling eyes was ever capable of lying. I could totally picture that scene! And the way you describe Kane's strong feelings for Kirsty, even when they were kids. This is so good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adia Posted January 10, 2007 Report Share Posted January 10, 2007 That ending was absolutely fantastic, I could totally picture it in my head! Reminded me a bit of that movie "Cape Fear..." I wonder what's up with Jade and where Rhys had to go suddenly... But each day the memories faded a little more and childhood slipped a little further from his grasp like snowflakes melting in the palm of his hand. Great line! My favourite. Your writing is so eloquent and descriptive. Please update again soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted January 10, 2007 Report Share Posted January 10, 2007 OH MY GOD! I'm getting way too into this fic, it's so good, and I really want to know what happens! I love the way you combine Kane&Scott's childhood with their lives now. I have to say I was a bit surprised when you actually proved Scott as "human" by talking about those pictures, but it made sense, and for a second there I almost felt sorry for him! “Don’t think for one second I’m afraid of you. Hurt us and you’ll have Kane to answer to,” Kirsty replied levelly. I can imagine Kirsty saying that, staying strong even in a difficult situation. “Gus sounds like a ******* cat!” Di said. “I prefer Richie.” I loved that part! Also the explanation was really good, especially the way you managed to drag Scott into it by saying that his full name was Scott Augustus Phillips. Again, great writing (I'm really just repeating myself when I'm writing these reviews) and I can't wait to see what happens! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adia Posted January 11, 2007 Report Share Posted January 11, 2007 Wow, another brilliant chapter! I really like the depth you go into when you write about the characters feelings, especially in that last part there with Kane while he was at the kid's party. I can sort of understand that his experiences has made him see the world differently from everyone else. He's not as carefree as the other kids. It's very cool how the past memories link up to the present. Great writing! I liked the Augustus/Richie explanation. That was really well done. Maybe I'm reading too much into things, but I think it's interesting how the hated name was passed down to the son along with that violent/bad guy gene. It says a lot about the Gus and Scott characters. GO KIRSTY!! Love how she stood up to Scott! He had a moment of weakness there for a second, but that was really good. Come on Kane! You gotta save them! Please update soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 “You better not hurt my Mum!” In the glow of candlelight Jamie’s face contorted in terror as he picked up the knife and pointed the blade. The same knife, the same words his father had used all those years ago. That part was so intruiging! I want to know what happened, and the whole story behind that knife! When the thunder came, Dani screamed in terror. But there was no one to hear. I really like this part. How you get back to Dani and her feelings without really talking about it, but showing it through actions like that instead... It's just awesome! “Don’t you dare touch my son!” Kirsty pushed him back, eyes blazing with anger, standing in front of Jamie to shield him. She needed two hands to push him back, and she fell awkwardly on her ankle but she caught Scott off guard and the knife clattered to the floor. I love the way you describe Kirsty through her actions. The way she stands up to Scott and actually dares to argue with him makes her character so much stronger and better. So. In a moment it was decided. Which brother would pick up the knife. In that moment when Scott clutched the bag to his chest and stayed where he was and Kane ran inside. Oh my God, when I read that sentence all I could think was "is the chapter over already?! But I want to know more!!" I really want to know where this ends, this is such a good fic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adia Posted January 14, 2007 Report Share Posted January 14, 2007 I agree! This is such a great fic. I love how everything is all intertwined and parallel to each other ... Jamie and Kane with the knife... the memory about the stash... The snippet of Dani was really interesting too. The description was great. I could totally imagine the scene. Your writing is so expressive and I really really like it! This is awesome and I can't wait to see more! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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