ILOVEASH Posted December 9, 2006 Report Share Posted December 9, 2006 thanks for the comments! Sorry I havent updated in a while, I will tomorrow and now I think of it, Ash is rather small, he may become a victim lol. xo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerise Posted December 9, 2006 Report Share Posted December 9, 2006 *cough* This is just cracking me up! Funniest Fic in bttb History! Still singing 'Anything can happen in Summer Bay, Jack and Martha got stuck in the Hay' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILOVEASH Posted December 15, 2006 Report Share Posted December 15, 2006 NEVER SAY NEVER CONTINUED It had been almost a month since the first day of the hay disaster and Fitzy, Peter, Belle, Alf, Ash, Amanda, Jack, Martha, Mattie, Macca, Kim, Rachel, Belle and Drew (carrying Sam, Rory, a few babies and Leah in his body) were still stranded underneath the hay that filled Sally's place. Dan lay underneath the couch, sliding out occasionally to say hi to his friends, Ryan stood just inside the front door of Sally's house watching his mum makeout with one of the oldest, spunkiest Summer bay residents Alf, in the hay. Sally sat on the driveway awaiting the return of her school principal boyfriend Brad, who had run off to hunt down his enemy, Johnny Cooper. Irene was asleep at home, holding her cow friend tightly in her arms as she watched Harry's Practice to pick up a few tips on how to take care of her soon to be husband. Cassie's skinny body had been blown out of Summer bay and she was now trying to make her way back home. Colleen lay unconscious on the street leading to the diner, where Cassie's body had knocked her over in the cyclone. Lucas and Tony were making their way over to Sally's house slowly, as the unfit PE teacher kept randomly collapsing. "Sorry mate, you can go ahead if you like" Tony told his youngest son, as he lifted himself from the ground and continued to walk. "Ittt's o.kkk dad, I can walk with you, we are the Holdens we always stick togggethhher" Lucas replied with his stutter. A smile grew on Tony's face, he was so proud of his son "you're right" he said putting an arm around Luc. "But you are walking at an incredibly slow pace. Come on dad, cant you go any faster than a snail?! It's ridiculous how slow you walk!" Lucas laughed as he shook Tony's arm off him and ran ahead. Tony fought back the tears and used all of his strength to keep walking, after all, he wanted to make it home for Christmas. ………………………………………………………………………………………….. Back at Sally's house, Martha was hungry. Noone in Sally's house had had much to eat in weeks. "I'm hungry!" Martha called as she chewed on her farmer hat. "Me too" replied the others. A knock at the door caused Fitzy to wake from her deep sleep. "Aahhhh" Fitzy cried as she set her eyes on the visitor. "Aaaaaahhh!!" everyone else screamed as they looked shockedly at the front door and saw Mummarose enter. "Nourishment!" the evil cult leader called as she held up a basket of food in the air. From under the hay, Jack stretched out his arms and used them to pull the gun from Ash’s police belt. He pointed the gun at mummarose and released the trigger. A huge bang rang through the bay, and Ash farted to his extreme maximum as he figured that the sound of the gun shot would cover the sound of his farting, which it did. ………………………………………………………………………………………….. Robbie and Tasha, holding Ella, climbed excitedly into their taxi. They had come from Boston to spend Christmas in Summerbay with their family and friends. "I can’t believe I finally finished school" the 19 year old said reading his year 8 report. "Yea but don’t forget you have to go back next year Rob"Tash reminded him. "People from Summerbay never finish school"she finished. Robbie smiled at his wife, "I’m meant I’m glad I’ve finished year 8." As their taxi drove towards their old home, they came across something strange. "A walking branch?!" a confused taxi driver called. "A hitch hiker smeared in poo?" said an also confused Robbie. Tasha looked out of the taxi window. "It’s Cassie!" she yelled at the taxi driver to stopped the car. Cassie saw Robbie and Tash and ran over to greet them. A bruised Cassie explained to Robbie and Tasha what had happened to her, and they agreed to let her jump in the taxi, as they all headed for Sally’s. ……………………………………………………………………………………………. Mummarose lay dead in the door way. Jack’s hands were shaking as the shock still hadn’t sunk in. "Strewth!" called Alf. "What the flamin' 'ell is that stink?!" "It reeks!”"Mattie added. "I don’t believe this" said Beth 'Smells discusting" said Belle. "That’s awful!" replied Kim. 'Ahhhh!”"a few of the others were screaming in the background. Fitzy looked to her right and saw mummrose’s rotting body laying next to her. 'I think I know where the smell is coming from" she told everyone. But Martha wasn’t convinced. 'No, it smells like…" Martha was cut off by an outburst of Ash’s farts. There was yelling and swearing in the house, as the outraged Summerbay residents held their noses to escape breathing in the stinky gas. Still holding the gun in his hand, Jack lifted it and shot Ash in the head. "Good shot!" yelled Morag and she entered the house. "Thanks!" replied Jack. "I was aiming for his massive forehead so there wasn’t much chance of me missing" he replied, unable to wipe the grin off his face. ……………………………………………………………………………………………… The taxi pulled up at Sally’s house and Robbie and Tasha followed Cassie as she ran quickly inside. “Good evening” said Morag, who was reading the newspaper at the kitchen table. “I assume you’d like to speak to you’re abusive partner who drinks beer all day, takes drugs, has affairs and wears singlet tops all day long” she spoke snobbishly to Cassie. “Macca” replied an angry Cassie, who stared at the pretentious red hed. Morag glared back at Cassie over her glasses. Macca caught side of Cassie and managed to pull her underneath the hay. “Oooh I’ll be watching you” said a high and mighty Morag. Robbie ran inside the house jollily to surprise the others. Tasha followed with baby Ella in her arms, who’s face resembled that of her Dad’s. She had Jonah’s head and hair. “We’re home!” Robbie called as he entered the house to find masses of hay. He stumbled over Mummarose’s body and went crashing into the hay. Tasha ran in after him, coming across mummarose’s body, she was dazed. The smell of farts had faded so Drew decided to unblock his nose. In shock, Tasha screamed and let go of man-faced Ella, just as Drew began to breathe in a lungful of air through his nose… TO BE CONTINUED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SfanS Posted December 15, 2006 Report Share Posted December 15, 2006 LOL, LOL, LOL... All I say is LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tasha Posted December 15, 2006 Report Share Posted December 15, 2006 OMG i have tears in my eyes, and they are tears of joy not sadness (which have been visiting my eyes all day) That was hilarious. And Jack has finally gotten rid of the two worst people to ever set foot in SB, Mumma Rose and Ashton Nadar Great chapter More please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerise Posted December 15, 2006 Report Share Posted December 15, 2006 No other word for it except LMAO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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