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Missing Milko (by Skykat) - comments


-Jade-
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Well, I'm sure you know what I think since I reviewed, lol, but I will use this oppurtunity to tell you (again) how much I enjoyed reading this story. Writing was brilliant.

However, you asked for comments/criticisms so thats what I will give. If I had to be really picky (and I mean really picky) then I would say that in some parts it was slightly repetitive.

Also, despite the fact that not all the couples seemed to actually have any great connection with Sally (i.e. Tasha and Robbie) I loved the bits with the different couples. It gave structure to the story.

I really can't fault this story to be honest. :)

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Aww you know I loved it, but you wanted criticism, and I picked this up in your own review of your story! Where was Alf girl? I know technically he wouldn't fit the mould, but she and him and like this *crosses fingers* so I think there maybe could have been room for him at the table too! Also, Ric and Cassie? Her own foster children are missing from her (symbolically) last supper...? I swear, you could write a sequal with just their goodbyes! And maybe it was just a bit of a couple overload... but I get freaked out with the idea of that many couples in a room (but thats just me)

Now, on with the good stuff. I loved the descriptions, the language you used, the images you created for us. I felt Sally calling out to someone (Milko) and that she just couldnt reach them, that she really was lost, an outsider in her own life. And I loved that you created such deep emotions so successfully, with such a small word count.

It really was so beautifully written Kat, but then again, when you write, what isn't?

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I was reading the current fanfic challenge and was re-reading some of the fics. This is one of the best parts of your story, Kat. The silence actually echoes:

It was there again, the feeling of being in a parallel universe, of not really being there. The feeling of not belonging, of not fitting in. It reminded her of a time long ago, a time when Milko was real and the world seemed so large and unfriendly. So alone. It reminded her of being in the home, of being in the middle of a million people but not really having anybody to talk to. It reminded her of her first few weeks with the Fletchers, of wanting so desperately to be a part of their loving family but feeling so unloved. It reminded her of school, of being the odd little kid, never worth talking to, never worth worrying about. Always on the outside looking in.

“What do you think Milko, am I being a silly Sally?” she asked. Not aloud because you never talked to Milko aloud. He only ever heard you if you spoke inside your head.

But Milko did not respond. Nobody did.. .

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  • QUIET ACHIEVER changed the title to Missing Milko (by Skykat) - comments

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