Closer

[silver butterfly]

Title: Closer

Type of Story: Oneshot

Genre: Drama/Romance/AU

Main Characters: Jack, Martha

Rating: G (Spoilers)

Summary: Jack watches, unseen, as Martha celebrates her marriage to a new love.

A/N: I meant to post this the episode of Jack's accident, but i didn't get around to posting it. A few notes. this fic ignores the whole 'Martha cheating on Jack' storyline and but it kind of picks up from the Jack's accident/coma thingy. Also i'm not sure if the whole fic makes actual sense but i really hope y'all will like it and please review!

Rows of chairs line the lawn of an elaborately decorated garden. Music blares from hidden speakers, friends and family talk and intermingle. All in all it is the perfect scene for a small garden wedding.

Only one member of the congregation is alone. By the old oak tree he stands unmoving and silent; a figure gone unnoticed by any of the other guests and even the nervous groom who waits eagerly for the bride’s arrival.

He too waits patiently, but not in as much anticipation as like the groom. A slight smile flickers, letting him reminisce back to his own wedding day. Feelings of anxiousness that surfaced, the jolts of nervousness that sprung up the moment she arrived. But what her remembers most of all about his wedding, what is clearly engraved in his memory was that feeling of simply being with her; of loving her and never wanting that to fade.

Time has passed since that memorable day. Over those years he has seen people come and go, change and move on with their lives to be exact. Martha is one of those people and today is living proof of that because it is her wedding day.

A sudden hush falls over the crowd, as the music begins and the bride finally arrives. In his opinion, ‘stunningly beautiful’ are the only words to describe how she looks. The dress is simple, white and strapless reaching to the ground. He hair is piled high a few curls slipping out of the bun. He can’t see her feet, but somehow he knows she isn’t wearing those boots of hers’ underneath. She hasn’t worn them since five years ago; anything that reminds her of before five years ago is gone.

-------

It is halfway through the ceremony, when feeling the need to leave, slips out as unnoticed as he came in. It is not his place to be here; it isn’t right, doesn’t feel right that he should be there

As he drifts down the path, he turns his head one last time. A final glimpse of her and that is all that is needed. He felt he had to get out of leave; being in that wedding…there were too many reminders of what he had lost, too many memories that it brought back. Their first meeting, first kiss, first date, they are merely fragments of time when they were happy; so naively in love that they thought nothing could change that, a past in which they were together.

He doesn’t blame her for moving on, nor does he blame the groom-Cameron-for being there for and falling in love with her. Because that’s just what he did, what he was; Cam was there for her when he wasn’t; helped her pick up the pieces after what she became- a broken mess.

Cam is there for her, treats her well and loves her unconditionally. When he watches them together, her eyes light up, a smile and look of pure happiness is evident in her facial expressions. He hasn’t see her look that way in a long time and out of all the men she could of married, Jack knows Cam is the best for her.

Jack can’t blame either of them, because in truth, he was the one who left her

Jack stops, looking around. So caught up, he hasn’t realised he’s drifted away, landing himself in their place. This space, these trees, those flowers; it is all part of small patch of land reserved only for them. A place where they can come together, where she will talk, he will listen and there will be only themselves alone in each other’s presence

He sighs heavily, drifting over to the river’s bank. Like a free spirit, the leaves from a nearby tree swirl in the wind. He watches silently as the colours of red and gold intermingle, almost dance in the breeze before coming rest on the heavy stone that lies before him.

It is a simple gravestone to the casual onlooker, bearing on it his name, dates and a few personal messages. But to Jack, it means so much more than just a mark of his death. It is the sole reason why as to why cannot be together.

Jack reaches out to the marker, tracing the date of his death almost five years ago. Fate’s cruel blow, some would say; his destiny others would call it.

The name doesn’t matter so much; they both mean the same thing to Jack. It still doesn’t change the fact that she is alive and he is…not. He considers himself a drifter, a spirit stuck between the two worlds unable to move on, because she can’t.

For a long time after his death, she couldn’t accept the fact he was gone. Clothes still in the cupboard, cologne on his pillow; to him it was still a sign that she couldn’t, wouldn’t move on which is exactly what he wanted for her. To be the Martha she was when he was still alive; the fiery, passionate woman he fell in love with. That was the side of her that almost died when he left, that fell into the bottle and slowly re-merged when she met Cam.

He just wants her to be happy, to move on and get on with life; to let go of him and free.

It is mid afternoon and he judges by now that she should be a married woman. The place seems strangely empty, hollow without her. Usually she comes to visit his grave, talking trying to fill the void of emptiness that is him. Because no matter how hard he tries, there is only a degree of proximity in which he can be close to her.

Footsteps sound, making him turn. Who would visit him? By all logic, everyone should be at the reception and the last person he expects to see walking towards him is…Martha?

For a split second, he wonders if she didn’t go through with the wedding; that maybe after all, she wasn’t ready to move on. But he brushes that away; he can feel the happy glow that she emits.

*

Martha moves swiftly, her dress trailing behind. She doesn’t have much time; Cam is waiting for her. But this is something she has to, needs to do and she is more than grateful that Cam can understand that.

She stops at his grave, closing her eyes briefly. The air is calm, the trees still. Being here always makes her feel just that more close to him.

*

He comes up behind her, his transparent hand resting gently on her shoulder; watching, waiting for her to speak

*

She smiles slightly; her senses tell her of another a presence, that she is not alone. He is right here with her and she can feel it.

“I know…” she says to his gravestone “you’re probably wondering why I’m here and not at my reception-”

‘-Damn straight-’

“-And I am going… I just-I need to do this first” she sighs and reaches out to the rock, feeling it’s smooth cold surface

“I almost didn’t go through it today; I nearly called off the wedding because…I couldn’t stop thinking of you. Choosing the dress, the venue, music-everything kept coming back to you”

“When Cam was saying all those words, the vows-it almost didn’t feel right and that I couldn’t say those words. But I know you” she says, voice deteriorating to a whisper “I knew that’d you’d want me to say them; that you’d want me to move on and take the chance and…and be happy. And I will be because he does make me happy…”

She trails off, brushing away the tears and struggling to compose herself; she is finally letting go of a past that will never be forgotten

“So” she begins, voice stronger “I-I’ve finally moved on, I’ve done it Jack and… I can almost hear you telling me off for taking so long” she smiles weakly.

“And it’s time you did too Jack”

He smiles and she closes her eyes again, placing his forehead on hers, enveloping his arms around her in one final embrace; it is time for him to leave her, one last time.

“I’ll always be with you Martha “

A fresh breeze blows, over her though no trees blow. In that moment, she knows he is finally gone

Minutes later she opens her eyes, the surroundings still and calm and she turns to walk down the path away from him. Doing so a light fragrant fills her senses, a scent barely there but she knows it well. It is just one promise, one small reminder that he’ll always be there and she glances one final time at his grave, a small smile forming on her face. He’ll always be with her; she’ll take him with her in her heart, wherever she goes.

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