jenlee Posted October 29, 2008 Report Share Posted October 29, 2008 ^Aw I hope you get your mojo back I need some advice for the sentence below. I'm just not sure if it flows very well, if I should make it into more than one sentence or if I should change it completly...any helo is muchly appreciated She heard Irene in the kitchen and, though she felt like crying at the mere thought of it, hoisted herself into a sitting position, preferring to make it out of bed without the pity stare she knew she would receive from Irene where she to find her in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Ranger 1 Posted October 29, 2008 Report Share Posted October 29, 2008 How about changing the last part to "without the look of pity she knew she would receive if Irene found her there"?Or, no, hang on...how about "before Irene found her there and gave her one of those looks of pity"? Er, anyone else want to help out here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whispered_envy Posted October 30, 2008 Report Share Posted October 30, 2008 How about something like... "She heard Irene in the kitchen and, though she felt like crying at the mere thought of it, hoisted herself into a sitting position. If Irene was to find her in bed, she knew it would cause a pity stare, and she preferred not to receive one of them today." I hope that helps... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenlee Posted October 31, 2008 Report Share Posted October 31, 2008 Thanks Red Ranger 1 and whispered_envy they both helped Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejefferies Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 I need help on my fan-fic, I'm not sure how I should progress with the current characters I have, does anyone have any ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zetti Posted January 5, 2009 Report Share Posted January 5, 2009 If you tell me what exactly maybe I can help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lise Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 Ok, so, I have kind of written something (probably the crappiest thing in history, but...) and before I put it up I would like someone to read it first just to check that I'm not totally going to embarras myself. So, I am looking for a volunteer...maybe even more than one? It's a Martha one-shot if that helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenlee Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 PM it through to me if you like I'd be happy to take a look Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lise Posted February 3, 2009 Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 Can anyone tell me what age Belle and Drew were when Drew left and they broke up? I'm pretty sure they were the same age I just don't really know what age they were. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenlee Posted February 3, 2009 Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 I'm assuming they were both 18. Drew had his 18th party at the beach while they were still together and left (I think) a few months after that. I don't recall Belle turing 18 but I think it's safe to assume she was, having finished school. But I could be wrong Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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