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-Annie-

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im stumped

i thought i'd be ok when i left my fic and went away on holiday but apparantly a month is a long time and i have no idea how to continue with my fic :S

anyone got any advice please??!!

Re-read it. If it's a majorly long fic, then perhaps read the last 5 chapters, and if that's not working for you, the last 10. If you're reading it and you get into it, then as all readers do, you'll get ideas on what should happen next. Except you're the reader with the power! :P

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Okay, I wasn't sure where to post this seeing as this isn't to do with a HAA fic, but I suppose it doesn't really matter.

Okay, I just realized I really suck at description. Right now I'm attempting a new fic, which actually requires more description than dialogue. I don't necessarily hate writing description, but mostly I use dialogue to move my stories forward. Even though this is something I'm doing for fun in my spare time this fic I know I'm taking on something really big, and something I've never attempted. Anyone have any tips, suggestions etc? I can try give a few examples; just reading them over they sound really raw, and I don't know if it's just me being critical or someone needs to teach me how to write :P Eh, here's one I'm not particularly happy about:

The collar of my ripped, once white now grey, shirt was blood stained, my shaggy hair more messy than usual, sticking up, and I could suddenly feel the dirt in it; I shuddered. My face was drawn, grey in colour as opposed to the pale white, with smudges of mud above my eyebrows and on my cheeks. More dried blood hung to the corners of my crimson lips.

And this one, but because I've never gad the urge to drink blood it doesn't surprise me I'm having a hard time getting the longing into my mind :P

I was suddenly greeted by an overwhelming smell of burnt coffee grinds, grease and human blood; never a good combination. The former two made me feel physically sick, my senses detested these things. The latter made me feel parched, made my chest ache, almost made me spiral out of control, and images flashed in my mind - my teeth sinking into soft human skin, the pained expressions on an innocents face, the liquid flowing into my mouth, my thirst satisfied - but I mustn't. I must stay inconspicuous. And yet the excess flow of venom in my mouth wasn't helping these cravings an awful lot.

Help PLEASE? :D

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Okay, I wasn't sure where to post this seeing as this isn't to do with a HAA fic, but I suppose it doesn't really matter.

Okay, I just realized I really suck at description. Right now I'm attempting a new fic, which actually requires more description than dialogue. I don't necessarily hate writing description, but mostly I use dialogue to move my stories forward. Even though this is something I'm doing for fun in my spare time this fic I know I'm taking on something really big, and something I've never attempted. Anyone have any tips, suggestions etc? I can try give a few examples; just reading them over they sound really raw, and I don't know if it's just me being critical or someone needs to teach me how to write :P Eh, here's one I'm not particularly happy about:

The collar of my ripped, once white now grey, shirt was blood stained, my shaggy hair more messy than usual, sticking up, and I could suddenly feel the dirt in it; I shuddered. My face was drawn, grey in colour as opposed to the pale white, with smudges of mud above my eyebrows and on my cheeks. More dried blood hung to the corners of my crimson lips.

And this one, but because I've never gad the urge to drink blood it doesn't surprise me I'm having a hard time getting the longing into my mind :P

I was suddenly greeted by an overwhelming smell of burnt coffee grinds, grease and human blood; never a good combination. The former two made me feel physically sick, my senses detested these things. The latter made me feel parched, made my chest ache, almost made me spiral out of control, and images flashed in my mind - my teeth sinking into soft human skin, the pained expressions on an innocents face, the liquid flowing into my mouth, my thirst satisfied - but I mustn't. I must stay inconspicuous. And yet the excess flow of venom in my mouth wasn't helping these cravings an awful lot.

Help PLEASE? :D

I think what you're doing is breaking up the description, the red phrases stop the pictures forming and dissociate the image and the feeling - they are a bit formal for what you're trying to do.

I've taken what I think you trying to do in the bold passage and re-written it, hopefully it will illustrate what I was meaning about the break-up in the description. I'm not saying it's great by any means, but I couldn't think of another way of showing you what I meant. Good luck with the fic.

"Suddenly, I was greeted by a combination of smells. Powerful to the point of being overwhelming, the stench of burnt coffee and grease turned my stomach. I felt physically ill, my heightened senses revolting against the assault on them. Part of me wanted to move away but I couldn't, for underneath the grease and coffee was another scent - one that teased my nose. The scent of blood! Rich and tempting it reminded me that I was parched, made my chest ache with longing and sent a kaleidescope of images flashing through my mind. The feeling of skin giving way beneath my teeth, the expression on the face of my chosen victim and the unique pleasure of their blood flowing into my mouth. Shuddering, I forced a measure of control. Acting on my desires was impossible; I must stay hidden, yet the insidious call echoed in my mind - I must resist."

Edited by solaris
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