Only With Your Smile

[xGlowingAngelx]

Chapter 11

Martha lay awake for the next few hours. Reliving the last time she had seen and spoken to Jack in her head. Telling herself he would be alright. All she wanted to do was see him. Was hold him and tell him he would be ok. She had never imagined her life without him and now here she was, being told she may have to, and it broke her heart. Her thoughts of him were interrupted by a knok on the door. She sat up right and dried her eyes. Removing the teardrops that were gathering, and falling down her silky smooth cheek. She watched as Alf slowly opened the door and peered his head inside. The sight of his grandaughter, lay sadly with her eyes so sad. He wanted to scoop her up in his arms and never let her go.

"Can I come in?" he whispered, in fear of her being asleep. She rolled onto her side, revealing to him that she wasn't and gave a weak smile. He walked towards her and simply placed his arms around her. She cried heavily. Tears forming onto his shirt. She lifted her head up and looked at him. "I can't lose him Grandad" she cried. He remained silent as a lump gathered in her throat. Alf placed his index finger under her chin and lifted her head so they were face to face. He simply whispered "He'll never leave you. He loves you" she placed her head into her hands. "It's all such a mess Grandad"

"What is?" he asked. His concern for his Grandaughter was growing rapidly. She sighed loudly. "This. Being here. Jack being here. We should be toether. At home, cuddling on the sofa. Having food fights in the kitchen. Arguing over who left the bathroom light on when we were in bed. Not stuck in this place. There's so much I need to tell him. And now..."

"What?"

"Now, I might not get the chance". Alf shook his head. "Don't talk like that! You know. I remember when you were a little girl, about eight years old I think you were. You used to tell me that one day you would marry a prince. And that you'd be together forever. I would just pat you on the head and laugh. I wouldn't think anything of it. And now here you are. And you've found that prince. That soulmate. And you will be together forever. He'd be a fool to ever give you up"

"That was then though. I didn't know what I was talking about. I was eight years old. At that age I was wearing vests and dolly shoes. I'm a big girl now" she said. Alf giggled. "Yeh, you're all grown up. But to me you're still that little girl that used to run around with her shoes on the wrong feet brushing her dollies hair. That will never change. No matter how many times you fall in love. No matter when you get married or have kids. You'll always be a little girl to me" Martha felt more tears roll down her cheeks. Alf gently removed them with his thumb and embraced her into a big bear hug. He kissed her head and whispered "You will live happily ever after, sweetie" just like he had done when she was eight years old...

[xGlowingAngelx]

Chapter 12

"Martha?"

Martha sat upright, and looked towards the door. A nurse was stood in the doorway, a wheelchair in front of her. "Jack's been moved to his own room. He appeared to have no problems overnight, although he's still having trouble communicating, but the doctors are satisfied that he should be alright. I thought you might like to see him" she said, wheeling the wheelchair next to Martha's bed. Martha gave her a smle and slowly climbed out of bed and into the wheelchair. She gave a deep breath as she exited the hospital room.

It was long journey to Jack's room. She had to go down the corridoor and then go up in the lift. It seemed like forever she was waiting to see him. As they arrived at his room the Nurse stopped outside. She looked down at Martha. "Are you sure you want to go in?" Martha nodded, as she was wheeled in. The sight of Jack lay there made her feel weak. Her chest felt tight and she felt sick. "Jack!" she cried. The Nurse wheeled her over to next to his bed and placed the breaks on. "I'll leave you to it" she said as she exited the room. Martha reached out her hand and clasped Jack's into hers. She felt tears tricke down her cheek at the sight of him. Wired up to so many machines. Machines that she didn't even know existed. She kissed Jack's hand. "Please wake up!" she whispered. She prayed for the feel of his hand squeezing hers. Nothing. She placed her head gently next to his and kissed his cheek. She could still smell his aftershave on him. She kissed him again and placed her arm onto his. "How did we end up here?" she laughed. "We should be back at home now. Together" She gave a weak smile. "Any excuse to get out of watching slushy movies with me hey? Don't worry when you're better we'll watch all the slushy movies in the world. We'll go to Paris, just like we always wanted to. We'll visit the Eifull Tower. We'll have romatic walks along the beach. We'll watch the sun rise together. And then we'll get married and have children. We'll take them to Disney Land and we'll curse our daughter when she turns into a teenage rebel who wants to go out all night partying with her friends. And then she'll bring her first boyfriend home. And then we'll renew our wedding vows in 50 years time. We'll do it on the cliff. You remember, the one I was going to jump off to make it up to you. Where we had our first kiss" she looked at Jack, hoping for some response, yet she got nothing. She placed her head back next to his.

"Oh well" she whispered. "We'll talk about it when you wake up Jack. Because you will you know, you will wake up. You have too. There's so much I need to tell you. There's something that I've kept to myself for so long. But I'll tell you, babe. I promise, you just need to wake up first" she kissed his lips and placed her head onto his shoulder. "I love you Jack"

[xGlowingAngelx]

Chapter 13

Martha abruptly woke up and looked around. She was still in Jack's room. Must've dozed off. She told herself. She looked up towards where Jack's head was rested on his pillow. His eyes were still closed. She softly grabbed onto the mattress and pulled herself towards him so her face was infront of his. He gently placed a soft kiss on his lips, praying for some sort of reaction. She got nothing. She gripped Jack's hand again, only this time much more tightly. Another cloud of tears formed in her eyes, threatening to mist her view. She quickle wiped the away when she saw a Nurse enter Jack's room. She gave a quick smile and turned back to face Jack. "Any change?" asked the Nurse. Martha shook her head. "No, I've spoken to him. Kissed him. He just won't wake up. I thought his operation went well" she said. The Nurse sported a confused look. "So did I"

"But he's not waking up! That's not good!" cried Martha. The Nurse placed a hand on Martha's shoulder. "Don't get worked up. I'll beep the doctor and he'll do more tests. OK?" she said looking at Martha's face. Martha remained silent, simply placing her head back next to Jack's. "It's all going to be alright Jack" she whispered. "I promise you". Quietly, the nurse slipped out of Jack's room, leaving the young lovers wrapped in eachothers worlds.

Their intimate moment together was interrupted as Tony and Lucas walked in. "Oh morning Martha. Sorry we can come back" said Tony, turning back towards the door. Martha smiled. "No, please. Stay. Jack will want you here when he wakes up"

"No change then?" asked Lucas. Martha shook her head. "No. Waiting for test results, as usual" she moaned. Lucas sat at the end of Jack's bed and smiled up at his brother. "You always have to steal the limelight don't you?" he moaned. Martha and Tony laughed. Martha took the breaks off her wheelchair. "I'll leave you to it." she said.

"Don't leave on our account. How are you feeling?" asked Tony. Martha smiled. "Much better, thanks. I need sleep though. See you later" she smiled and exited the room. As she got outside she stopped and wiped tears falling from her eyes. She took a deep breath and continued wheeling the chair towards her room. She knew she still had to tell Jack the truth but she'd realised that now maybe wasn't the right time or place....

[xGlowingAngelx]

Chapter 14

Alf walked in to Martha's hospital room looking happier than he had done a few hours earlier. Martha sat up. "What's up with you?" she asked. Alf sat on her bed. "The doc's said you can go home love. They said that they can't find a problem with you. And they said keeping you in here when they're not doing anything isn't going to make you feel any better. So they said you can go home and just come backs if you have any problems. Isn't that great?" he said, excitedly. Martha felt her stomach turn. She didn't want to leave Jack. Although, she knew that it would be best if she was at home. "Yeh, It's....great" she smiled. Alf nodded. "So lets get packing and take you home"

"Er..Grandad would you mind starting the packing. I'm going to go and see Jack. Say goodbye" she said. Alf looked at her "He's unconscious love. He won't know"

"I know. But I'd feel a lot better" she said. Alf nodded. "ok" and watched as Martha left the room.

As she walked in to Jack's room, she walked over to his bed and sat beside him, taking his hand. She brushed her fingers through his hair. "I'm going home Jack. But I'll be back, later on. And when I get back, I expect you to be running around in circles, laughing and joking. ok?" she laughed. And with that she kissed his forehead and left the room. Her stomach did somersaults. Why was she finding it so difficlut to tell him the truth? He was unconscious. She let tears fall down her cheek and walked back to her room.

***************

"Home sweet Home" said Alf as they walked into the Diner flat. Martha smiled. She should have been happy to be back home, but that was impossible when she thought of Jack, alone in that hospital. All she wanted to do was kiss him and never let him go. She wanted to sit down with him and tell him the truth. She wanted all the secrets she was too afraid to tell out in the open. She wanted a happy, simple life with Jack. Yet that was going to be easier said than done...

[xGlowingAngelx]

Chapter 15

"Here love, drink this" said Alf, handng Martha a cup of coffee as she sat on the couch. She took it off him. "Thanks" she smiled. He sat down besides her. "You're bound to feel off love, you've been through the mill, and with Jack being in hosptal aswell it's bound to make you worse. But you need to relax and stay positive" Martha carried on staring into space, the cup of coffee resting between her hands. Alf looked at her. He was worried about her. Without saying a word, Martha stood up off the sofa and walked into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

"Dad! What's going on?" said Lucas, as he entered Jack's hospital room that day. The sight of three doctors stood in there didn't look good. Tony walked towards his soon. "The doctors think Jack's got an infection son" said Tony. Lucas looked at him, confused. "But, Infections can be cured right, with antibiotics and things." His face was starting to quiver and he coulsd feel tears clouding his eyes, misting the view of his Father. Tony shrugged his shoulders and placed his head in his hands. "There's a chance he might have to go back to theatre" he informed his youngest son. Lucas backed away from Tony and walked out of the room, his steps gradually becoming more rapid. Tony tried to call after him, but he paid no attention. He decided against going after him. Jack needed him more right now.

"Excuse me. No running down here please!" called a Nurse as Lucas acidently bumped into her on his way out of Jack's room. He turned and looked at her. His eyes were puffy. The Nurse stopped. "Are you alright?" she asked, almost sympathetically. Lucas nodded. "Yeh, I'm fine" he said, trying to sound as casual as possible. She placed her hands on his shoulders. "Why don't you come to the staff room with me. I'll make you a drink" she said. Lucas smiled gratefully and followed her.

Meanwhile Martha lay on her bed. She looked, sadly, at the picture on her bedside table. Her Jack. She smiled sadly. "Please be alright Jack. Please" she said as she kissed the photo.

"OK, Let's get him to theatre" said one of the nurses from Jack's room. She turned to look at Tony. "Will you be coming with us?" she asked. Tony nodded. "Yes. I need to contact Martha" he said. The nurse nodded "We'll do it. Let's go" Tony took a deep breath and walked besides the bed his son was lay on. His life resting in the hands of strangers...

[xGlowingAngelx]

Chapter 16

Martha lay still on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She didn't know what to do with herself. She wanted so badly to go to the hospital and see Jack, yet she knew she'd have no chance with Alf being in the next room. He was concerned about her and right now he coudn't bare to let her out of his sight. He feared for her. Going through so much. He knew how much her realtionship with Jack meant to her. He knew she doted on him and would do anything for him. Seeing him go through this made him realise she was an adult. Not the little girl she was all those years ago.

Lucas paced up and down the corridoor of the hospital whilst Tony sat on a chair with his head resting against the wall. "How long has it been?" asked Lucas. Tony lifted his head up and looked at Lucas. "Half an hour" he said. Lucas' eyes widened. "Is that it?" he excalimed. Tony sighed. "Yes, Lucas. It has been half an hour and in another half an hour it will have been an hour and so on, so there really is no need to ask me again, ok?" he snapped. Lucas stared at him, shocked. Tony shook his head. "I'm sorry, Luke." he said, signalling for Lucas to sit down. They sat besides one another. "It's just" Tony began. "Him being down their just reminds me of when he was there with his ear. All the waiting around we did. I'm sorry" he said. Lucas placed his hand on his Dad's shoulder. "It'll be ok, Dad" he said. Tony looked up at him and smiled. He knew that, whilst he was worried about Jack, Lucas was too, and he needed looking after aswell.

"Mr Holden?" Tony looked up, and saw a doctor watching over him. He quickle stood up. "Hey doc, how is he?" he asked. The doctor smiled. "He's still in theatre but it's all going well we're just hoping this will sort it" he said. Tony smiled and shook his hand. "thanks" he said. The doctor smiled again. "I'll keep you informed" he said, and turned and headed back towards theatre. Tony turned and looked at Lucas. A smile shared between them, and they embraced in a hug.

"Thanks Tony" said Alf, as he put the phone down. He turned to face Martha, who had now sat back in the front room. "That was Tony. Jack's operation is going well. They're hoping it won't be long now" he said. Martha smiled. "That's great!" she said as tears filled her eyes. She stood up. "Where are you going love?" asked Alf. She looked at him. "To the beach. I'll be fine Grandad" she smiled and headed out of the door.

As she sat back on the bench besides the sea, Martha thought of the previous few weeks. Her and Jack finally together again. She'd spent the last few hours thinking of him, and had come to the conclusion that as soon as se could she would go to the hospital and tell him the truth...

[xGlowingAngelx]

Chapter 17

"Martha, where have you been? I was worried" Alf said as his granddaughter walked back into the flat. She looked at him. "I went to the beach I needed time to think"

"So you just thought; I've just come out of hospital, where they still don't know what's wrong with me, and I could have anything wrong, but hey let's go for a walk and not tell anybody, even though I could just end up collapsing like I did in the first place!" he snapped. Martha stared at him. She shook her head, and ran back out of the flat, slamming the door behind her.

She ran, breathlessely into the hospital, and came face to face with Tony. "Martha, what are you doing here? You should be resting" he said as she stopped at a halt in front of him. "I need to see Jack" she cried. Tony nodded. "Well you're in luck. He's out of theatre and awake but he is still groggy"

Martha felt her stomach do somersaults. "Can I go in and see him?" she asked, unsure of whether she wanted to or not, but knowing she should. Tony nodded. "Yeh, sure. Luke and I are going to get coffee. Want one?" he asked. Martha shook her head. "No thanks. I've drank enough of it since I was in here" she laughed. Tony laughed back. "OK. See you later" he smiled.

"Yeh, bye" said Martha. She watched them walk away and slowly walked in to Jack's room. He gently turned his head. "Mart..." he grumbled. She walked over and placed her fingers to his lips. "Shush. Don't try talking babe" she said. He continued watching her. She felt tears run down her cheek. "I was so worried about you Jack" she said, gripping his hand. I thought this was my punishment for.." she looked towards the ground, despite him being asleep again, and whispered "for being married"

[xGlowingAngelx]

Chapter 18

"Martha" a voice called. Martha's eyes quickle snapped open and she looked up to see a doctor stood over her. "What?" she asked. Her eyes were blurry. The doctor smiled. "No everything's ok. I'm just letting you know Jack's awake. He's asking for you". She quickly jumped up and looked around. "Where am I?" she asked. he smiled. "You're in the guests room. It's where people who want to stay all night with the patients sleep"

"All night? Have I been here all night?" she asked. The doctor smiled. "Yes. You said you didn't want to leave Jack" he said. Martha stood up and ran her fingers through her hair. "Right..yes...Jack. How is he?" she asked. "Well you'll be pleased to know he's fully awake now. He's asking for you" Martha smiled, nervously and followed the doctor to Jack's room. "Oh jack!" she called, rushing to his side and bending down to kiss him. He smiled at her. "Hey you" He was still slightly groggy but he seemed to be making progress. She sat on a chair next to his bed and gripped his hand. "You gave me a fright" she sobbed. He smiled, weakly at her. "Sorry" he whispered. She ran her fingers through his hair. "Don't worry. Let's just get you better and back home" she said. Jack smiled back at her. He tapped the bed. "Come and sit up here" he said. "I can't see you properly". Martha smiled and did as she was told, placing herself next to Jack. He smiled at her weakly. "Dad?" asked Jack. Martha smiled. "I'll call him, if you'd like. Get him to come down" Jack shook his head. "NO. Just you and me. The way it should be" he said. Martha smiled. She wanted to agree with him, but knowing she had confessed to him that she was married whilst he was unconscious didn't make her feel any better. She just wanted Jack back home safe so she could tell him the rest of the story, explain why she hadn't told him the truth earlier. She'd wanted so badly to do so but something always seemed to get in her way. But she promised herself that once Jack had got the all clear and was able to go home, she would sit him down and tell him. Tell him everything. She knew she'd made progress, telling him she was married. But she had so much more she needed to tell him. And she would. Just as soon as they were back home...

[xGlowingAngelx]

Chapter 19

One week later.....

"Good Morning Jack" The Nurse who had been looking after him walked into his room, just like she had done every morning at nine oclock since he had been there. Jack smiled a her. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I feel great. The best I have in days"

"Good. Because it seems, that now you are up and walking again, the doctor is willing to let you home". Jack shot her a confused look. "Really?" he asked. She laughed. "I though you'd be thrilled!"

"I am" replied Jack. "It's just, I thougt they might want to keep me in a bit longer that's all" she smiled at him.

"Well, you've been awake for almost a week now and you haven't had any roblems. Temperature and blood pressure are all fine. You'll need to stay on some antiboitics for a week or so, but there's no reason why you can't take them whilst you're at home" she smiled. Jack smiled back. "I suppose not. So when can go?"

The nurse looked at the clock on the wall. "Well the doctor should be round any mnute now, so see what he says" she smiled.

"Thanks" said Jack as she left the room. He waited until she was safely out of view and pulled out his mobile. He turned it on and typed a message: Get Here ASAP. Got good news. I love u xxx. he quickly scrolled his phonebook and, after sucessfully sending the message to Martha's phone, tucked it safely back into the drawer.

"Martha you're phone's beeping!" Alf called from the kitchen. Martha walked out of her bedroom and picked it up from the table. "Wow!" she said as she read the message. Alf turned to face her. "Something wrong?" he asked. She shook her head. "It's Jack. He said he's got good news for me! I'd better get to the hospital" she sighed, happily. Alf nodded. "Hang on a minute and I'll ome with you" he said. "Good to see him again" Martha nodded.

**********************************************

"Hey!" she said as she happily walked into Jack's room, she walked over and kissed him. "What's this good news?" she asked. Jack took her hands nto his and looked at her. "They said I come home!" he excalimed. Martha felt her heart skip a beat. "What, aren't you happy?" Jack said, noticing her delayed reaction. She looked back at him. "Of course I'm happy, it was just a shock that's all"

"Good" nodded Jack. "Because just before you got here, the doctor officially discharged me so I'm free to go!" he squeeled as he hugged her tight. "Yeh, that's excellent" she sad as her head rested on his shoulder, although her facial expression told a different story...

[xGlowingAngelx]

Chapter 20

"Ahh, home sweet home" Jack sighed as he walked into the house he shared with Tony and Lucas. Martha followed closely behind him, carrying his bags. She placed them onto the floor next to the sofa and sat besides Jack. "Can I get you anything? A drink? Food?" she asked. Jack placed his finger on her lips to silence her. "I have you. I don't need anyone else" he said. Martha smiled. "I think the last few weeks have gone straight to your head" she laughed as she attempted to stand up. Jack took her hand and pulled her back besides him. Martha could feel the guilt rising inside her as he spoke. "I'm serious Martha" he began.

"I have never felt like this about anybody except you" he said.

Martha felt the tears well up in her eyes as she thought of just how much she was betraying him. "Look Jack I..."

"Don't say anything, please!" he said. "I know we haven't been back together long, but it's been long enough. I've know since the day I met you that we were meant to be. I suppose when that person come along you just....know" he said. Martha smiled at him, hoping it wasn't too obvious that she was very uncomfortable with the situation. "Jack, please don't do this" she said. Part of her wanted to laugh and part of her just wanted to cry as she predicted what he was going to say next. Cupping her face between his hands, he looked into her eyes, smiled and said the one thing she was praying deep down that he wouldn't say. Not yet; "I love you Martha" and she slowly felt her world crash down around her, crumbling by her feet...