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I love music

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  1. Okay, I'm not sure if I'm doing all this right because I've never been in this thread before but can anyone supply me with an avatar of Ollie? And maybe upload it for me too or whatever you have to do because I don't know how to... Thanks.
  2. A travelling theatre company...? You could always have him studying drama and someone ask him to join them for a six month/year tour.
  3. I haven't read all of this (too little time tho I'll try to read all of it some time) but that last chapter was very emotional.
  4. That is the shorter one (obviously) that sort of gets straight to the point, the next one elaborates more. Thanks in advance for any help Again, Solaris is right in the advice given. Your first quote is much, much better than the second. Don't feel you have to over-explain to your readers. If you want to say more about events leading up to what happens, put it in italics and tell it as a flashback scene.
  5. Solaris is right about the break-up of description. When you write description don't just see it, FEEL it. Like this (I'll only take part of the second paragraph because I'll be watching BB soon and should be working on SBH anyway ): An overwhelming smell of burnt coffee grinds, grease and human blood assaulted by nostrils. My chest tightened and a feeling of nausea overwhelmed me. Images flashed through my mind now - nightmarish images...my teeth sinking into soft human skin, the terror on my victim's face; the taste of the salty red liquid flowing smoothly into my mouth... Hope that helps.
  6. Nope, Megan is a direct descendant of Molly Scattergood who made herbal cures and told fortunes in seventeenth century England and of Edwin Henry Scattergood who was sent to Botany Bay in the nineteenth century - tho if Floss ever researches her family tree and discovers any Scattergoods or Ashcrofts she might well be... I think I'm taking all this a little bit too seriously now...
  7. I doubt I'll still be watching H&A in two years time since they seem to have ruined the Kane/Kirsty/Ollie story but I'll prob still check into this forum now and again so don't think you're off the hook...
  8. Thanks. That was quite a difficult chapter to write as I don't know very much about Barry and Kim.
  9. Oh, don't worry, after her holiday in Oz I'll hassle her until the second part is written...
  10. Mama Mia. It's a great feelgood movie but...it IS quite short and it IS over-hyped. Tho I'm not a huge fan of Abba I still enjoyed it. Julie Walters is very funny, Pierce Brosnon is and the scenery makes you want to book your flight to Greece immediately.
  11. Thanks for your reviews. The next chapter should be ready in a couple of days *fingers crossed* And seeing as there have been 850!!! hits since the last chapter was posted I'll stop complaining no one's reading now...
  12. Graphically written, Kat, tho I still stand by what I said when you first sent it to me for proofing - it would have been better to end with at the very least a glimmer of hope. So I hope you do find time to write the follow-up after your visit to Oz (can I go with you...? ) It was a very striking portrayal of a battered wife and certainly showed Irene in a way she's never been shown before. Powerful stuff.
  13. My favourite part was the strong characterization. Create believable characters and you've got one helluva strong story.
  14. That was really sweet, lots of awww moments and I LOVED when Kasem came into the classroom and Sally realised who he was. Great that Cassie and Scott reached an understanding (and maybe more in the future ) That part about the ocean relating to both Miles and Sally was very moving. Lovely story, I enjoyed reading.
  15. Great chapter. Very realistic dialogue.
  16. I'm glad one person liked it anyway! I'm hoping to write about Cassie next chapter, plus I'm kind of getting a Kim/Megan scene in my head. I think I should maybe write a synopsis before each chapter, for my sake as much as anyone else's. I keep forgetting what I've written before!
  17. Nice chapter. It would have been better to end with the earth tremor but only because it would have been a good cliffhanger, not because there was anything wrong with the rest. I love the way Sally and Vinnie/Harry are bonding. “Because one of these days you’re going to meet a man who’s going to be able to look past this virus and see the beautiful and wonderful young woman that you are.And he’s going to make you just as happy as you deserve to be.” That was lovely.
  18. For next chapter of SBH, can anyone help with some info about Cassie? Was the uncle who abused her an actual uncle or an uncle through marriage? What happened to him? Did H&A ever say? How old was Cassie when it began? Is the name Cassie (in H&A I mean, not generally) short for something else? Thanks.
  19. That was a nicely written chapter, especially the beach scene with Sally, Vinnie and Pippa.
  20. I forgot Irene hadn't actually told Barry what happened! I meant to put some of that in but got sidetracked (and, okay, lazy! ) Next chapter I'll try and work on a flashback scene of what happened with Irene that day together with some Irene/Barry dialogue/consoling - tho I'm not sure how long it'll take, I only ended up with about 15 mins writing time today and watching Big Brother all the time isn't helping... (Sorry about posting in my own thread again but your personal messenger is disabled.)
  21. I'd forgotten about Geoff Butler! (The evil prison governer when Rita got transferred, right? ) I'll have to see if I can slip in a reference to that look-alike too somehow, it's fun! Thanks for your comments. The Martha/Kane pairing was Kat's idea...we'll have to wait and see what happens there...
  22. That was a great chapter. Loved some of Vinnie's straight-to-the-point remarks.
  23. I love the way this is written, it makes very pleasant reading. I particulary liked the scene in the restaurant where Sally is talking to the waitress, I totally warmed to that character.
  24. It's good and very well written but it needs a little more emotion in the beginning. Just before Sally throws the rose out on the water she might have been thinking something like "Who were you, Amber? Oh, I know you were my niece, I know what you looked like from the photos, I know your likes and dislikes, Miles has told me...but I never knew you. Did you ever look up at the sky the way Pippa does and wonder at the world? Did you ever try to catch raindrops on your tongue or draw faces in a steamed up window and then wipe them away before anyone saw like I used to? I wish I'd known you." But, hey. it's a great start.
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