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sunshine girl

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Everything posted by sunshine girl

  1. It isn’t a competition as to who has had the worst childhood nor should you treat it as such, and no Melody isn't being a selfish cow. I do feel that there is a fundamental misunderstanding here as to the nature of Melody’s difficulties. Psychologically/psychiatrically speaking Aden is far better equipped to deal with what has happened to him than Melody is in relation to what has happened to them and that is the crux of the matter. Unfortunately it is not being as well written and as well illustrated as I had hoped that it might be. Consider this. Aden, from what we know, spent his early life cared for by both parents in what by all accounts was a secure loving family. He was nurtured and loved. His father did not go off the rails until his mother died, and the abuse which he suffered occurred when he was around 6 or 7. This means that he was given some good parenting in his formative years. We also know from what we have observed that he has the ability to accept help and has some basic personality and some sense of who he is. Whilst what happened to him is horrendous, he had some life skills and some resilience which has enabled him to survive it. This also suggests that the parenting he received when younger was good enough. Melody on the other hand has, since the day she was born, had every single aspect of her life controlled by her mother. What she eats, what she wears, what she thinks, where she goes, what she reads, what she likes, her friends, what she watches on TV, so much so that she may have had no idea herself what she really likes, thinks or feels. It is often the case when young people like Melody are separated from a controlling parent and are given basic choices about things like food, or clothes that they are unable to say what they like or dislike as they have mentally blocked out what they don’t like having told “yes you like it” all of their lives. Melody has no sense of self and no sense of self worth. She has no idea of who she is; her mother has effectively assaulted her psyche her entire life leaving her totally ill equipped to deal with anything in life. So when faced with something she reacts defensively as she as seen others do, not because she is selfish, but because she has no sense of self. In the great scheme of things the assault by Axel was not as great as that perpetrated by Aden’s Grandfather, but the effects may have been far more damaging; this was not of course Axel's fault, but if blame must be apportioned it was Christine’s fault as she has left her daughter totally without the skills to deal with even the everyday things in life, let alone a teenage boy over stepping the mark at a party. It is not what happens to you in life so much as how you deal it, and your child hood and the parenting you receive equips you to deal with life. Psychiatrically speaking Melody has been far more damaged over time than Aden; it is just that people react far more emotively to issues like sexual abuse as they struggle to understand how someone can assault someone’s personality. Melody is rejecting help and not seeing the counsellor at this stage as she is rejecting anything which she sees as controlling, and that will continue for a while until she realises that she needs to obtain some control of the current chaos which is her life. Nicole is actually quite perceptive when she says Melody needs to learn from her mistakes, as indeed she does, but her friends also need to be there to provide a safety net and ensure that she does not fall too far into the mire. I am hoping that they will make this clearer from now on as I am sure that what they are trying to show is that Melody is actually not a spoiled selfish cow but a young woman in acute crisis. She deserves compassion and understanding and to not be dismissed. There are Melody’s in every school, all of them misunderstood. I copied this post form Aus discussion because I think it explains why Melody needs to be cut some slack. She does not have the tools to deal with life in the way some of you seem to think, and to describe her actions as malicious I find amazing. She isn't malicious she is just a mass of confused and chaotic feelings and is lashing out because she does not know what else to do. It stuns me to see so many young people with such black and white views willing to write her off and reject her and to show not one iota of compassion and understanding, such coldness and rigidity of thought is alarming me.
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