Danni02 Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 They were all so good! Im really stuck between numbers 3 and 4. They were both just brill. Oh.... Uhm...number 4 get's my vote... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotcaz22 Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 All the entries were really good - writing a character death is not easy to do. It can be draining, having to kill off a favourite character. So, all the entries were great, and were written with careful and sensitively. The two entries which stood out for me is Entry 3 and Entry 4. Entry 3 was really emotional and brought me to tears. I felt for Nicole - poor her having to go through it alone. Entry 4 was brilliant, and the way Rachel was in denial at first about Tony's death. I liked the way the writer wrote it - the two different POVs, which was nice. Made it difficult for me to choose one entry to be the winning entry, but I will have to say.......ENTRY 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelephotoMarigold Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 All, Just a reminder that there is a day left to vote for your favourite fan fic entry..... If anybody is a bit shy about casting your vote in the thread... I accept PM's... . Love Tele xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzannelgnz Posted November 29, 2009 Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 All 5 entries were of a very high calibre to congrats must to to all of you, however I felt like there were 2 standout fics which I felt involved my emotions much more. Entry 4: especially beautiful. The point of view from both Rachel and Tony,and the range of emotions they were both feeling were brilliantly written. Entry 5: Another good short fic, the sense of mystery not knowing who the situation was until the end. However, It would have been nice to see a contrast between the good and bad times. My Vote goes to...... Entry 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelephotoMarigold Posted November 29, 2009 Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 CONGRATUALTIONS KIRSTYEKUA..... You have won Fan Fic Contest #4 All entries were of a very high standard and I'd like to thatnk Krfan4lyf, Georgia, TessaLove and Adellejefferiesxox for their entires. Love Tele xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelephotoMarigold Posted November 29, 2009 Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 CONGRATUALTIONS KIRSTYEKUA..... You have won Fan Fic Contest #4 All entries were of a very high standard and I'd like to thatnk Krfan4lyf, Georgia, TessaLove and Adellejefferiesxox for their entires. Love Tele xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KirstyEkua Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Hello All, Below are the entries for the Quick Fan Fic Contest #5. Judging is open to all and closes 10pm GMT /7am AEST Monday 7th/Tuesday 8th of December. (I'm working late all next week so that's why the times are a bit strange.) Love Kirsty Entry 1 The sound of the music and laughter silenced the loud sobs coming from the store room in Noah’s bar. It had been almost an hour that she had been sitting in there, crying. The Christmas party was raging, people were dancing, others were drinking, laughing and just generally chatting, but not she. She choked back a sob as things finally came into perspective for her, and she didn’t know how to handle the news. The door creaking open alerted Charlie that someone had finally heard her, quickly wiping her puffy red eyes as she looked at who had entered. “Hi Martha,’ Charlie choked back as Martha gave her a sympathetic look before entering the rest of the way and pushing the store room door closed with her back as she looked at Charlie. “I thought I heard someone crying in here, is everything ok?’ Martha asked as Charlie looked at her for a moment before bursting into tears again. Martha quickly rushed over to her, leaning down and bringing Charlie into her arms. “Charlie what’s wrong?’ Charlie tried to speak, to tell Martha something at least but all the escaped were more sobs as her body began to shake once again and she closed her eyes tightly, sobbing into her friend. After a few more moments of crying, Charlie slowly composed herself before pulling away from Martha, half smiling as she saw the wet patch on Martha’s nice black dress. “Your dress has a wet patch!’ Martha smiled before shrugging. “I don’t mind, wasn’t really in the party mood, anyway I’m here for you so what’s wrong? Is it Angelo?’ Charlie quickly shook her head and looked down at her stomach as more tears brimmed the corner of her eyes and she looked back up at Martha. “I had an abortion...’ Martha nodded slowly before hugging Charlie. Both girls just sat there as they heard what sounded like Rachel and Tony walk past the store room, laughing in hysterics. Next they could hear Colleen’s voice and both girls began to giggle lightly before stopping. “I had an abortion a couple of years ago,’ Martha spoke up as Charlie looked at her, not looking surprised, but more relieved. “After Jack and I split up, I met Ash, who was essentially Jack’s best friend, we started dating and then I found out he had a wife and kids,’ she spoke softly as the tears had now dried from Charlies cheeks. “What happened?’ Charlies asked quietly. “He told me he was leaving his wife but kept putting it off, so I ended it and then found out I was pregnant. I booked in for an abortion, and had it done, Jack was the only one who found out because I went off the rails and had to tell him,’ “You didn’t even tell Alf?’ Charlie questioned as Martha shook her head. “You’re the only other person I’ve told, Hugo doesn’t even know,’ Martha replied as she saw Charlie look down again at her stomach. “So do you want to tell me what happened, I thought you and Angelo were happy?’ Charlie got to her feet in a hurry as Martha followed. “I have to go... I cant...’ she began to walk to the door as Martha rushed over to her, grabbing her hand. “Charlie...’ “What?’ Charlie snapped as Martha quickly took a step back at her sudden outburst as more tears appeared and began to spill down Charlies cheeks. Letting go of the door handle, Charlie ran her hands through her hair before sliding down the door, sobs beginning to rack her body again as she pulled her legs up to her chest. “I’m sorry Martha...’ “Charlie, what’s happened?’ Martha asked again as she leant down in front of Charlie, putting on hand on Charlies knee. “You can talk to me,’ Wiping her eyes again for what felt like the one hundredth time, she finally looked up at Martha. “It wasn’t Angelo’s baby...’ --------------------------------------------------- Martha couldn’t believe what she had just heard, sure Charlie had cheated once before on Joey with Hugo, but she didn’t think Charlie would do it again after Joey left. “What?’ Martha questioned, unable to speak anything else as Charlie looked up at her, her bottom lip quivering. “It’s wasn’t Angelo’s baby,’ Charlie repeated a second time around as she sniffled a couple of times before speaking again. “I was raped!’ All previous thoughts running through Martha’s head quickly disappeared as she watched Charlie break down once again. Leaning forward Martha hugging Charlie tightly, Charlie letting her legs fall to the side as she hugged Martha back tightly. Sure Charlie and Martha hadn’t been the best of friends since she started dating Angelo, the man responsible for Jack’s death, but Martha knew she couldn’t leave Charlie like this, especially on Christmas. ------------------------------------------- They both sat with their backs to the door, quietly listening to a bunch of the residents singing to ‘Jingle Bell’s Rock’. It felt like hours had passed since Martha had entered the store room to see who had been crying. She looked at Charlie who was just staring at the tiled floor, her legs crossed and both hands sitting on either thigh. Taking Charlie’s hand into hers made Charlie realize that Martha was still there, and she saw that Martha was worried about her. “The night Grant was murdered, and when dad finally confessed to his murder, he told the police he did it because grant was scum and told him that he was going to be in mine and ruby’s life for a long time,’ Charlie began to explain before stopping, feeling Martha squeeze her hand gently before taking a deep breath. “I was taking a walk along the beach, trying to figure out how I could protect Ruby from that... that – monster. I started making my way up the beach to head home when he came out of nowhere, grabbing me from behind. I... I tried to scream but he had his hand over my mouth and dragged me down to the dunes. I couldn’t scream, because it just reminded me of all those years ago. I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t even get away. He... laughed as he... ripped my skirt and pulled... He said the exact same words as the night I was first raped... it’s not the first time I’ve made a girl cry... like a sooky little kid,’ Charlie said as she sniffled, wiping her eyes as the tears trickled down them. “Oh god... Charlie,’ Martha spoke, feeling so sorry for Charlie. “I went straight to dad, he saw the bruises, and that’s when he went looking for him,’ Martha held Charlie as she couldn’t hold the tears back any longer; crying her final words to Martha as sobs overtook her. “My father k-killed Grant for r-raping me... a-again,’ Entry 2 It’s Christmas eve and I’m here alone, I can’t go out with anyone because my life now is hiding this huge secret, And if I see Charlie I won’t be able to hide it anymore, I’ll want to tell her everything, How I am the worst sister, daughter even in the world. How could I have been so stupid? I love Charlie and I totally betrayed her. No one knows my secret, I can’t tell anyone, The one person I should be telling right now is the one person who it will hurt the most. I wish Annie was here, she would now what to do, but she’s till in Japan, I can’t talk to Nicole, I wouldn’t know what to say, we aren’t as close as we used to be. I need to tell someone, if I don’t this secret will eat away at me until I can’t bare it anymore, and anyway, I can’t keep it a secret to long, people will notice when my belly starts to enlarge, I can’t just say I ate to much when I’m 5 months pregnant, The residents of SummerBay aren’t that stupid. Of course I could say it was Geoff, We did sleep together before we broke up, But I wouldn’t do that to him, He’s happy, I couldn’t lie and destroy his life, I’m not like that. So I guess I’m going to be a mother, I’m 16 and I’m going to be a mother, and the worst thing, the father, well the father is my mothers boyfriend. I’m 2 months pregnant, 8 weeks. I should probably explain how it happened, It wasn’t bad or anything, Angelo didn’t force himself on me. We were home alone, Leah was away for the weekend with VJ and Charlie was at work, I always liked Angelo. I was upset about the breakup with me and Geoff, And I was ranting about the fact he is going to get together with Nic. **Flashback 8 weeks previous** “I can’t believe it! We’ve only been broken up a few days and he’s already flirting with her! Did I mean nothing to him?” “Rubes, I’m sure you meant a lot to him!” “But he broke up with me, He told me he loved me, We slept together!” “You slept with Geoff?” Ruby faced went into shock, She wasn’t meant to mention that, Especially not to Angelo, he would tell Charlie, and then she would flip! God knows what she would do. “Yes, But please don’t say anything to Charlie” “I won’t, But I think you should, she trusts you” “I know, But not right now. I’m too busy wallowing in my own self pity! Why did he break up with me? Was I not good enough for him? Or hot enough?” “Your too good for him Rubes, and your too hot as well” Did Angelo really just call me hot? “Thanks” I smiled unsure what to do, I feel kind of weird now “I’m serious Ruby, any man would be lucky to have you” His eye’s fill with love, he’s really missing Charlie I can tell “I’m going to head to bed, If you hear crying it’s just me” I laugh, only I really am being serious. Before I can get up his lips are pressed against to mine, his kiss is filled with passion, for a second I don’t do anything but then I kiss him back, All thought of Charlie leave my head. He stands up and pulls me to my feet, We climb the stairs and land on my bed still kissing passionately **End of Flashback** I can’t even tell Angelo I’m pregnant, After that night he told me never to speak about it again, and pretend like it never happened, of course I was happy to oblige at the time, but now I can’t really forget about it, I need to tell someone, I’m not really showing too much so I put on a loose dress and make my way to the surf club were there’s a party going on. Nicole’s standing outside, I signal with my hand for her to come over to me, as soon as she’s in speaking distance I break down, tears fall down my face and drip to the ground. “Rubes, what’s the matter? Come on we’ll get you inside” “No! I can’t go in there, Charlie and Angelo are in their, I need to talk to you, alone” “Ok, We can go back to Aden’s place, he’s not there” So we walked to Aden’s house together, On the way Nic’s phone rings, I look at the caller ID it’s Geoff, But she didn’t answer it. As soon as we get to Aden’s I sit down on the sofa and break down with tears again, She didn’t even close the door, and that was a big mistake. “Ruby, can you tell me what’s wrong?” I look at her, her eyes are filled with sympathy, she wants to help “I’m, Pregnant” I finally say it and it feels good, until I look up and the half open door to see Geoff standing there looking shocked, I try to explain but before I can he’s gone running down the path. “Is it Geoff?” Nicole’s fearful to asked the question but she does anyway I shake my head “No” I sound ashamed I wish it was Geoff, things wouldn’t be this bad if it was his. “We need to find him then, Can you tell me who the father is?” “Angelo” I manage to say without tears, but they come straight after the word escapes my lips “Angelo? As in Angelo?” “Yes as in the guy dating my mum” “But how?” “It’s a long story, one I don’t quite want to tell right now, I just want to find Geoff and set him straight, before anyone else finds out” But Ruby was out of luck, Geoff stormed into the surf club straight up to the bar where Aden was standing and almost demanded a beer. “You alright mate?” “No, I’m not all right, Really not alright” “What’s up mate?” “I’m going to be a dad, Again!” He almost screamed, Charlie heard this and got closer to where thw boys were standing “Your going to have to explain a bit more mate!” “Ruby’s pregnant” Geoff finally spat it out “Pregnant! Ruby’s pregnant, with your kid? You two slept together?” Charlie yelled furiously Ruby rushed to the surf club eager to find Geoff, she ran all of the way Nicole following behind her, they both went separate directions in desperation of finding Geoff before he spilled, but it was too late. Ruby stepped inside the surf club and all eye’s were on her, she gulped and held back the tears. “Geoff can I talk to you?” She whispered “No Ruby why don’t you talk to all of us?” Charlie said, her eyes almost red with anger “I need to talk to Geoff, I need to tell him something” “Ruby why don’t you start with the pregnancy? And why you didn’t tell me anything?” “I couldn’t tell you” “Why not? I’m your mother Ruby” “I know, but I just couldn’t tell you” “How many weeks are you?” “8” she whispered her whole face covered with shame “Charlie I think we should all go home, Ruby can tell you everything back there” Nicole stepped up but was ignored as Geoff spoke “8 weeks? But we haven’t slept together for ages, longer that 8 weeks, how is that possible?” “Geoff the baby it isn’t yours, That’s what I was trying tell you when you ran of” Geoff sighed with relief, everyone else in the room was still eager to know who the father was, “Who then?” “I can’t say” Tears finally escaped Ruby’s eyes, She really couldn’t say it would destroy Charlie, I no one knew then nothing bad could happen to Charlie, The only person that knew right now was Nicole, and Ruby could swear her to secrecy. “Ruby I need to know” Charlie persisted “No you don’t, Believe me you really don’t need to know!” “I do need to know, If someone’s hurt you or anything I want to know” “You may want to know, but I can’t tell you, No one hurt me I promise Charlie” My eyes looked to Angelo for a brief second, he looked hurt and sad, And I saw a little bit of sympathy “I’ll have you take a DNA test when the baby is born! I need to know who done this to you” I looked to the ground unable to look at anyone anymore, I felt Nicole’s arms go around my shoulder, A little bit of support, but it wasn’t enough, I wasn’t going to have her here the whole pregnancy, or every time Charlie asked me who the father of my unborn baby was, I looked up and straight into Angelo’s eyes, He nodded understanding the stress I was under trying to keep his secret, I took this nod as permission, so I opened my mouth but before I could spill his name for the whole room to here, he spoke up “It’ me, I’m the dad” “Angelo? Your what?” Charlie asked, stunned “I’m so sorry Charlie, it was a mistake, but one I can’t take back” “No! When? Why?” “You were at work late, and No one else was in the house” “So you slept with my daughter?” Charlie sounded disgusted “I was upset, And Angelo was there, It was a big mistake and I’m so sorry” “I can’t deal with this right now! I....” Charlie ran out of the door, sobs filling the air “Well um Merry Christmas” Colleen said, E very one i the room glared at her "Sorry, but some of use are excited about the festive season's and it's just gone midnight" Entry 3 Charlie woke and slowly sat up in the bed. She looked around the room as she rubbed her forehead which was throbbing from the amount of alcohol she had consumed the previous night. She eventually realised she wasn’t in her own bedroom and worse still it wasn’t even her boyfriend’s bedroom. She sighed heavily before getting out of the bed and getting herself dressed. She slowly walked out of the room and down the stairs and made her way to the front door. “Leaving already? I was making us some brekkie” Miles said as he took some bacon out of the fridge. “Sorry, I just wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible” Charlie replied quickly. “Oh that bad was it?” Miles questioned and Charlie looked down at the floor. “Miles, I’ve just cheated on my boyfriend so I’m sorry if I don’t want to hang around and eat breakfast” Charlie replied “Yeah right. I’m sorry” Miles said as he nodded. Charlie smiled awkwardly at Miles before leaving the house. She got to her house as quickly as she could as ran into her bedroom and collapsed on the bed in tears. Two months later Charlie was standing at the bar in the Noah’s. It was the Christmas party so the place was full of people dancing, laughing and having fun. But Charlie didn’t feel like having fun. She hated that she cheated on Angelo and keeping it a secret was killing her. She wanted to tell Angelo straight away about what had happened but Miles convinced her it was a bad idea and they should just pretend that it didn’t happen. She stood there thinking about that night and how it happened. Miles had been upset over Kirsty leaving him and Charlie was upset after having a huge fight with Angelo and they both found themselves drowning their sorrows together. After a few too many beers they found themselves seeking comfort in each other. Charlie was interrupted from her thoughts by Angelo who walked up behind her and put his arms around her stomach. “Hey babe you alright” Angelo said as he kissed her neck softy. Charlie smiled and turned around to face Angelo. “Yea I’m fine” Charlie smiled. “Are you sure, we can go home if you want?” Angelo smiled and Charlie shook her head. “No honestly, I’m fine” Charlie said and Angelo grinned and kissed her forehead. Then he took Charlie’s hand and led her through to where everyone was dancing and up to the stage where the music was playing. He switched the music off and everyone looked up at him. “Charlie from the moment I met you I knew you were special. I have never met anyone like you and my life would be nothing without you in it” Angelo said before smiling. “Angelo don’t” Charlie said but he didn’t hear her. “Charlie I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our baby” Angelo said as he placed his hand on her stomach causing a few gasps and whispers from the others on the dance floor. “Angelo please” Charlie said again, but Angelo continued talking and got down on one knee. “Charlie will you marry me” Angelo asked and there was a few more gasps and whispers from the floor. Charlie looked up to find everyone staring at her waiting to hear what her response was. Charlie found Ruby nodding her head and mouthing ‘yes, say yes’ then she looked up to find Miles staring at her and he gave her a smile and nodded his head slightly. Charlie looked back at Angelo and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I can’t” Charlie whispered before running out of the Surf Club and down to the beach. A few gasps of shock where heard as Miles ran out the Surf Club and followed Charlie to the beach. “The baby, is it mine?” Miles asked as he sat down beside Charlie. Charlie picked up a clump of sand and let the grains fall through the gaps between her fingers. She looked up at Miles, the tears falling down her cheeks. She bit her lip as she shrugged her shoulders. Charlie cleared her throat before talking. “I don’t know” Charlie said as the tears came on heavier. Miles nodded his head slightly before putting his arm around Charlie. “Its Angelo baby Charlie. You marry him and have this baby, be a family” Miles said “I can’t lie to him Miles. I need to tell him” Charlie said through the tears. “Tell him what?” Angelo asked from behind her. “I’ll just go up there” Miles said as he pointed to the Surf Club and got up from where he was sitting. Angelo sat down next to Charlie and put his arm around her. “Charlie, what’s wrong” Angelo asked sounding confused “Do you still love me”? Angelo asked “Yes of course I do. So much Angelo” Charlie said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “Well what’s wrong then? Why can’t you marry me?” Angelo asked rather cautiously as he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to the question. Charlie took a deep breath and looked up at Angelo. “I slept with someone else” Charlie said slowly and Angelo’s mouth fell with shock. That was the last thing he expected Charlie to say. “When and who? Angelo asked try to hold back the tears. “Miles. 2 months ago. After we had that big fight” Charlie said unable to look at Angelo. Angelo nodded his head before putting it in his hands. He sat in silence for what seemed like hours. “Angelo say something, please” Charlie cried and she put her arm around him. “I’m hurt Charlie. I never thought you would do that to me” Angelo said looking up at her. “I’m so sorry. It was just a stupid mistake. It meant nothing to me” Charlie cried and Angelo wiped the tears away his face and stood up. He walked away from Charlie and headed back to the Surf Club. “Angelo please I’m sorry” Charlie shouted as she chased after him. But Angelo just kept walking. He walked up behind Miles and put his hand on his shoulder. Miles turned around to find Angelo’s fist in his face. Miles fell back and Leah and Ruby went to help him up. “Angelo what the hell was that for” Ruby shouted as Miles got back to his feet. “Ruby I deserved it” Miles said as he wiped the blood from his nose with his sleeve. “Why what did you do?” Ruby asked Miles. “He slept with Charlie” Angelo shouted and Leah and Ruby gasped in shock before looking up at Charlie. Angelo looked at Charlie and shook his head before walking out of the Surf Club and down to the beach and broke down in tears. Charlie ran after him and stood in front of him. “Angelo I am so sorry. Please forgive me. It will never happen again” Charlie said as the tears started to fall down her face again. Angelo took a deep breath and wiped the tears from his eyes. “I love you so much Charlie. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But you have to understand some of the trust has gone and it’ll take time for it to come back” Angelo said and Charlie nodded her head. Angelo took her into his arms and kissed her softly. “What about the baby?” Charlie asked as they broke apart. Angelo looked down at her stomach and smiled he took a deep breath before talking. “If Miles is the father then we will work something out” Angelo said and Charlie smiled. “I love you so much Angelo” Charlie said and Angelo grinned. He took the ring out of his pocket and looked up at Charlie. “So, Will you marry me?” Angelo grinned “Yes of course I will” Charlie smiled and they kissed once more. Get voting everyone Thanks to those of you who entered. I thought they were all brilliant and really well written. Well done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessalove Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 All the entries were so good I loved how they were all Changelo Lol It's really hard to choose, all 3 were amazing! And so well written! I think I'm going to vote for number 1, It was a really good read! And the emotion was written so well The characters you chose were very good, Martha and Charlie don't really have that much of a relationship on screen so it was good too read! Well done everyone! El x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotcaz22 Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 All entries were really good, there were a lot of emotions behind the stories! But I'm torn between Entry 1 & Entry 2. Entry 1 was really very emotional, and the way Martha comforted Charlie was wonderfully and sensentively done considering that Charlie got together with Angelo. Wow, that is a great twist on why Charlie's father killed Grant on the beach. That was really excellent! Entry 2 had a lot of emotions behind the story, and the way Angelo stood up to tell Charlie the truth at the end was just pure magic! Ahhh...for it's clever twist on the Grant murder, I'm choosing Entry 1 ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgia Posted December 5, 2009 Report Share Posted December 5, 2009 Entry One: I loved the start of this one... it raised my curiousity levels, and I really wanted to know why Charlie was crying. I also liked how it was Martha that comforted her, despite the fact that she was dating Angelo. Very nice twist on Grant's murder. Entry Two: Kind of creeped me out thinking about Ruby and Angelo together, but it was a nice use of a flashback. I liked Geoff's reaction, it was written very well, and I also liked how Angelo told the truth in the end. You captured Charlie's personaility perfectly. Entry Three: The ending was really sweet, I love how Angelo still wants to be with her. You managed to write Charlie's inner conflict extremely well, which I enjoyed, and the beginning was a strong opening paragraph. Hope you found that constructive, I enjoyed reading them all, but I'm casting my vote for #1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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