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Dan F

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Honestly, all I can really say Tele is please don't do anything to hurt yourself!

I have no idea what it's like to be in your position, so I can't pretend to know how hard that is. But what I can tell you, is that people will miss you, even if you think they won't! There are people who care about you! 

And there is help out there! 

Please call 116-123 or 0800 58 58 58 and talk to someone. They will listen and they will help you! Please call them! 

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Tele I ask you to go back a page and read my post.  I've been on the receiving end of suicide. I can truly say it's the worst thing that ever happened to me. It changed pretty much every aspect of my life. Relationships with friends and family have been damaged things I cared about don't matter as much if at all. Given my history I'm going stand very strongly on how i feel about it that might be selfish but need understand both sides of it. 

Not looking to fight I hope this is case of the night darkest before the drawn and life get more amazing for you than ever thought it could be. Maybe you need help get to that point tho and hope you lease try services available to you really nothing to lose. Also applaud you for even using this forum for help it a positive step in the right direction

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 14/09/2017 at 11:47 PM, TelephotoMarigold said:

Hope? Hope? 

What hope? What is there to hope for?

I don't have a job, I've just been turned down for a job that is so far below my skills set that the interviewer actually asked me why I bothered applying. 

The council has just screwed me over and I have ANOTHER mess to sort out with them. There are four bands,  A, B, C, and D. The higher the band the more priority you have for housing. I was on band C for two years. They've just put me back down to band D! They tell me my best option is to get a private rental.  Private rentals don't accept housing benefit. Half the time estate agents don't even bother to get back to you as soon as they hear you're on HB.

I understand both sides of it. I've had people commit suicide. I know its a last resort when you can't see any other way out.  Do you honestly think I want to put my Dad through anything like that, but I don't have options. I can't keep on like this. I've sought out help, I'm not stupid. I've had the counselling and the doctors appointments and the happy pills.  I've had the feeling like death and still heading out to the job centre or the council and pretending that something is going to change and go right for once. 

I've done the reaching out to people. Got my fill of rejections. And of people lying to me. I deleted 400 people off FB and no-one noticed.

And I miss my best friend.

Today is the 2nd anniversary of a friends death and I can't cry. I don't have any tears left. But more than that, I don't have any words.  I can't write at the moment. Forcing updates to my stories is like swimming through mud. Poetry, which has always sustained me when there are too many dark emotions, is gone. I've had nothing published for years. I got a decent following to my blog last year and that has fallen off because I just haven't had the energy to maintain it. I haven't updated any of my stories on other sites.


I. Just. Can't. Keep. Doing. This. Anymore.
 

There's hope if you don't give up and keep going I'm a believer that if you keep going strong, things will change for you in the end. Or someone will help. If you don't want to do it for yourself do it for your friend they wouldn't want you to give up.

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  • 8 months later...

Believe it or not, I'm reading through this thread. In another tab I'm up to page 121. I find the posts here quite frankly inspiring and brave and through most posts feel like I've gotten to know whomever it was posting. I really hope the idea behind this thread continues and every post continues to help someone one post at a time.

 

But nothing since 2017? I could probably add my own stuff....

 

Thank you for inspiring me.

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I may be in the minority here but here in the UK we have really long daylight hours in May and June, and I am not keen on light nights TBH. I get more relaxed by mid June as 21st June is Summer Solstice, and the nights start to get darker. It feels more private and quieter when we have darker nights, and you dont get all the idiots out until late at night so much in the darker nights. I get seasonal effective disorder in the spring as opposed to the other 3 seasons of the year as in spring it is really light and humid.

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This might not be right place to post but best I could find lol

How do you tell an annoying neighbor to just go away and leave you alone without making an awkward living environment?

I made the mistake of engaging at the start. 

He was selling a car on gumtree I just moved in and thought "Oh yeah, handy to know your neighbors, be more likely to speak to you with an issue". So I took pics amd put something up on my Facebook and showed him how to upload on Gumtree.

Second time was a few days later was boat on gumtree uploaded the picture than logged him on to his gumtree on his phone so stayed long on can do it himself.

3rd time was a problem his phone I didn't really try just told him to speak to his phone company 

Yesterday wanted me take some more photos for gumtree (dude your phone camera works as well as mine) I just lied and said I'm sick

And other times like just now I ignored the door. But sometimes I'll have like music playing, which makes pretending your not home hard to pull off, and him seem to have no social skills to be on phone he expects me drop everything and come help

I live alone now and absolutely loving it, I don't want to deal with people.

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