Title: A Case Of The Munchies
Writers Ludub and pembie
Type of Fic: Short Fiction
Main Characters: Chris, Evie, Billie, VJ, Hunter, Jordan, Heath, Bianca, Irene, Alf, Brody (and lots of other main characters)
Genre: Horror / Black Comedy
BTTB Rating: A
Does it contain spoilers: No
Warnings: ADULT THEMES!
It started as a hit TV show, with the only worry being wheather you could survival a horor filled episode without going to hide behind your sofa to help ease the sounds of your girly screams. But now it would seem the realms of fantasy and fiction have blended into one horrifying experenice
Hello everyone so me and Ludub have come together to treat you all to a crazy rollercoaster of utter comedy fright Hope you all enjoy First chapter written by Ludub
A Case Of The Munchies
Chapter One written by Ludub
“Strike me roan!” exclaimed Alf, as he saw Chris and Evie coming through the diner door, “Chris Harrington! Where did you spring up from?!” He hadn’t registered the blood yet, or the fact that Evie was injured. He was just surprised to see Chris back in town. “Aren’t you supposed to be on the cruise ships?!” he asked.
Chris took Evie’s arm from around his neck and lowered her onto one of the chairs. He charged past Alf, ignoring his questions, and grabbed the keys that were hanging up by the wall. “Jordan! Lock the doors!” he shouted, throwing them to a young man following behind him, “Get anything that we can barricade the doors with! Tables! Chairs! We’ll need to block up the windows too!”
Jordan froze for a moment, staring at Evie in a dazed sort of way. He looked scared.
“Jordan!” shouted Chris, “Do it!”
Jordan jumped a little, shaking his head as though just coming to his senses, and then began dragging chairs towards the front door.
There were only a few other people in the diner, Alf, VJ and Billie, and of course, Irene, but they all just shook their heads and laughed. Chris Harrington was well known for being a bit silly and more than a bit prone to flights of fancy. They didn’t know how he’d roped John and Marilyn’s former foster son into whatever prank he was pulling, but they didn’t doubt that he was just fooling around. Nobody moved.
“People!” he shouted, looking around at the bemused looking faces now staring at him, “They’re coming! We have to be prepared! …Start barricading the windows!” With that, he ran into the kitchen and began banging about in there.
“What’s he talking about?!” asked Alf, frowning at a confused looking Irene.
She’d stopped in her tracks halfway through clearing plates and was standing with her mouth hanging open. Chris hadn’t told her that he was coming home and she didn’t know what had gotten into him. Why on earth was he hollering about ‘people coming’ and why did he have some young boy barring the door?! ‘What is that dunderhead of a boy up to now?!’ she wondered to herself. Irene set the plates down, and followed Chris into the kitchen, muttering angrily as she went.
Alf set down his newspaper and got up to go and see what was going on. He watched as Jordan raced back and forth picking up chairs and dragging them across the room. “What the flamin’ hell is goin’ on here?!” he shouted, as the young boy pushed past him and attempted to up-end one of the tables to block the window. “Has everyone got a few roos loose in the top paddock today?!” he asked.
“They’re coming” said Evie, interrupting in a dazed and distant sounding voice, “They’ll be here soon…” She was hugging her arms across her chest and seemed to be in shock.
“Is she okay?” asked VJ, getting up and coming over to stand beside Alf at the table. A heavily pregnant Billie joined them a moment later and looked down at Evie in concern. She didn’t look good!
“Evie?” asked Billie, putting her hand on Evie’s shoulder, “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know” said Evie, staring into the distance, “I don’t think he meant to do it… I mean, I don’t think he’d want to hurt me… I guess he couldn’t help it.”
“What are you talking about?” asked VJ, as he knelt down in front of her. That’s when he saw the blood! “Oh, my God!” he exclaimed, “Evie, are you hurt?! What’s happened?!”
“It’s okay” said Evie, “We're gonna take care of it… I think he was just hungry…”
“Who are you talking about?” asked VJ, gently moving her arm to take a look at it. It was soaked in blood but someone had tried to apply a make-shift tourniquet and bandages to it. She had a man’s leather belt pulled tight around her bicep and they’d wrapped her forearm tightly in a t-shirt. “Evie? Who did this?!” he asked, glancing up at Alf in concern.
Alf was already on the phone. He was trying to call an ambulance but no-one was answering. He was listening to the ring-tone with a look of concern on his face as it rang out. It was Emergency Services… they always answer! What was going on?!
Suddenly a loud shout came from the kitchen. “What in blue blazes are you talking about, Chris?!” yelled Irene, as she tried to get him to climb down from the stool that he was standing on. He’d been babbling like a maniac and she couldn’t seem to get any sense out of him at all. He just kept talking about ‘walkers’ and calling himself ‘Rick Grimes’. He’d gone about picking up knives, looking at them, checking them for sharpness, and then setting them back down again. None of them seemed sharp enough to him.
“Where’s Roman’s cleaver?” he asked, looking down at her as he ransacked a white plastic box of old kitchen supplies that they kept up on the shelf. The cleaver was something they rarely used anymore but he was hoping that it might work. It would have the best chance of breaking through bone of anything that they had in here.
“Chris!” exclaimed Irene, staring up at him as he stood on a stool to check the top shelf, “Get down from there before you break your flaming neck! …How many times do I have to tell you?!” He looked like a madman! His eyes were jumping out of his head and he was soaked in sweat. “And you’re gonna sit down and tell me what you’re doing here!”
“Ah hah!” he shouted, suddenly setting his eyes on the brown handle of a Japanese cleaver. He grabbed it and jumped back down. “We don’t have time, Renie! They’re coming!” he said, pushing past her and making a beeline for Evie, “They’re coming!”
“What’s going on?!” laughed Hunter, returning from the toilet to find that the diner had been plunged into partial darkness by that kid he’d done community service with. He wondered why Jordan was barricading all the doors and windows and what Chris was doing running around with a large knife.
“God save Ireland!” exclaimed Irene, as she followed Chris out of the kitchen, “Can anyone get any sense out of him?! …And what in the world is going on out here?!”
Evie looked up at Chris and nodded at him. She knew what they had to do. She held her injured arm out across the table and everyone gasped when she pulled the make-shift bandages away and they saw the extent of her injury. There was a large chunk of flesh missing, exposing bone and tendons, and gushing blood, and there were very clear and obvious teeth marks too!
“Someone needs to hold her still” said Chris, rolling up his own shirt sleeves and readying the cleaver. “We need to cut it off above the bite…”
“What?!” shouted Billie, getting between Chris and Evie and catching hold of his cleaver-wielding arm. “Have you gone insane?!”
“I have to do this, Billie!” he said, pulling his arm away from her, “We don’t have a choice! Haven’t any of you seen The Walking Dead?! She’ll turn if we don’t do this!”
“Just do it, Chris!” said Evie, putting the end of the leather belt in her mouth to bite down on, “Please?! Do it!”
“What?! No!” shouted Billie, “You can’t do this! Why would you do this?! You’re talking about a TV show! It’s not real! Zombies aren’t real!”
“Look outside!” said Chris, “Look at Evie’s arm… They’re real, they’re very real!”
“He has to do it!” grunted Evie, with the leather belt still between his teeth, “We don’t have a choice!”
“Of course you have a choice!” said Billie, “I have my car outside. We can get you help!”
“If we go outside, we’re all dead!” said Evie, looking up at Chris and giving him a little nod. “Just do it!”
“Hold her down” said Chris, raising the cleaver above his head, “Make sure she doesn’t move!” He didn’t want to do it but he’d seen what happened when people got bitten and he didn’t want to watch it happen to Evie. This was her only chance. He’d promised her that he’d see it through.
“Wait, wait, wait!” shouted VJ, “This is crazy! What on earth is going on?!”
Just then there was a loud banging on the front door! “Let us in!” screamed a male voice, “Please?! Open up! They’re coming! …Please?!” A woman began to shout as well, and started hammering on the windows. “Please?! Let us in?!” she sobbed. They could hear people screaming too, crying out in pain and fear. Something terrible was happening outside!
Alf and Irene looked at each other and shook their heads. They had no idea what was going on. It was like the whole world had been turned upside down in the space of ten minutes!
“Someone needs to tell me what the hell is going on!” said Irene, standing there with her hands on her hips.
“Zombies, Irene!” said Chris, “It’s finally happened… We’re in the middle of a zombie apocalypse… People are dying out there! Everyone!”
“Okay, Chris…” said Irene, trying to take the cleaver out of his hand, “I think maybe we need to get you to the hospital?” She looked down at Evie’s arm. “Both of you!” She was sure that they must be going crazy if they thought there was really such a thing as zombies.
Evie looked up at her and shook her head. “No hospital” she said, “It’s been over-run already… We’ve seen it! …Everyone’s dead.” She grimaced from the pain in her arm. “The dead… They’re climbing out of their coffins and… and eating people…” She began to tear up a little as she looked up at Chris. He’d been there with her. He’d saved her! “Oscar…” she said, turning to look at Alf, “It was Oscar… He bit me… He took a chunk out of my arm!”
“Oscar?!” exclaimed Alf, “What the flamin’ hell are you two talking about?!” Oscar had been dead for exactly a year. He was long gone! How on earth did she think that Oscar was responsible for the wound in her arm?!
They all looked round as a male voice began to shout again outside. “Please?! You have to let us in!” he yelled. The banging was becoming more frantic and panicked, “Please?! It’s Heath and Bianca… Harley’s with us! Please?! Let us in!”
“Open the door!” shouted Irene, making a dash for the front door to open it. “Please, Jordan! Help me to open this!” she pleaded, looking at him with eyes wide with fear. They could hear screams and thuds and bangs. “Help me!” she shouted again.
“Let him in!” shouted Chris, nodding for Jordan to open the front door again. The young boy had looked to him for guidance. “Let them in!” he said again.
Hunter joined them to help dismantle the barricade that Jordan had made, pulling chairs and tables out of the way again. As they opened the door, Bianca and Harley fell through the doorway, followed by a blood splattered Heath wielding a baseball bat. They were covered in blood and clearly very panicked. “Close it!” shouted Heath, pushing the door closed again and trapping a grey and decomposing hand in the doorjamb. Hunter helped Jordan to push against the door as more and more force was being applied from outside. There were obviously more and more bodies piling up against the door and trying to push it open.
“What is going on?!” yelled Hunter, as he held his shoulder against the door. There were a number of hands clawing their way through the gap, and trying to get at them. They were grey and stank of rotten meat and blood. Some of the flesh had come away and they could see bone and cartilage, and writhing maggots. “Who… who are these people?!” shouted Hunter, as they struggled to hold them at bay.
“They just came out of nowhere!” said Heath, shoving at the door as hard as he could, “They got Ash… ripped him to pieces right in front of us!”
“Oh, my god!” cried Irene, as she held Bianca in her arms, “Is anyone else hurt?!”
“Probably” grunted Heath, “We saw them eating some poor bastard down on the beach. Don’t know who it was.”
Suddenly Chris appeared with the cleaver in his hand and motioned with his head for them to make space for him. He began to hack at the hands, lopping them off one by one, and finally they were able to close the door properly. They slammed it shut and managed to turn the key in the lock but Hunter and Jordan stood panting with their backs against it just to be sure.
Hunter looked down at the severed hands on the floor and kicked them out of the way. “What the hell is going on?!” he asked, turning to look at Jordan.
“My mum tried to eat me” said Jordan, as he stared off into the distance, “Dug her way out of her grave right in front of me and tried to bite my face off… If it hadn’t been for Chris…”
Hunter glanced at him in a startled way. “Your mum… but she’s… she’s been dead for years?!”
“I know” said Jordan, as he moved to pick up one of the chairs and used the legs to hook through the door handles and keep the door closed. “Yours is probably out there too… Your mum, I mean.”
Hunter looked at him in anger for a moment. He didn’t like anyone talking about his mum, and his first instinct was to hit him, but this wasn’t exactly ‘mother bashing’. He was talking about her being a flesh-eating zombie, just like his own mum. It wasn’t your usual insult! He didn’t know how to respond to it. They lifted a table together and used it to create a barrier to the door.
“What are we going to do?!” cried Bianca as she rocked Harley in her arms, “We can’t stay in here forever!” Irene hugged her and stroked her hair in a gentle and motherly way. She didn’t know what to say. Things had escalated very quickly and she hadn’t begun to get her head around what was happening.
Chris gave Heath a little nod, before wiping the blade of the cleaver on his shirt, and then he walked back towards Evie. It was time!
“Chris!” cried Evie, looking at him pleadingly. The pain was getting worse. “You have to do it…” she snarled at him, “I don’t want to die!”
Alf and VJ were crouched down beside her but they both looked a little dazed. “You’re going to cut her arm off?” asked VJ, looking up at Chris and his cleaver in horror, “Isn’t there anything else we can do?!” Evie had told them what was going on outside in gory detail and made it clear that having her arm cut off was her choice. They could help and support her or they could make themselves scarce.
Billie had gone to the far side of the room and was rocking back and forth and covering her ears. She didn’t want to be there for when it happened.
“I don’t think we have a choice” said Chris, looking down at Evie in an apologetic way, “It could still be too late.”
Heath had followed him over and was peering down at Evie’s arm. “She’s been bitten?” he said to Chris, looking very worried, “She’s gonna become one of them… I’ve seen it! …It doesn’t take long!”
“We’ve seen it too” said Evie, beginning to cry, “I don’t want it to happen to me… Please, just do it!”
“Can you hold her?” Chris asked Heath, wiping the blade of the cleaver clean with some wipes he’d brought out from the kitchen. He’d found a bottle of vodka that they kept for cooking with and he poured that over the blade too.
VJ came round behind her and put his arms around her to keep her body still, Heath stretched her injured arm out across the table in front of them and held it in place, and Alf took hold of her other hand and held it tightly. She rested her head on the table and bit down hard on the leather between her teeth. She looked up at Chris as she lay there sweating and shaking and scared. “Just do it!” she growled at him, “Please?!”
The three men restraining her at the table looked up at Chris and wondered how things had come to this. Everything had seemed normal this morning. Now they were holding a young girl down at a table in the local diner so another of their friends could cut her arm off with a meat cleaver! What on earth was going on?!
“Do it!” cried Evie, clamping her eyes shut.
With that he brought the cleaver down