Scripts - Episode 4000

SUMMER BAY HOUSE

ALF, CASSIE, RIC and MARTHA stand together.

RIC

You said you didn’t want a party. You’re sixty. That’s huge.

MARTHA

Exactly, and we couldn’t let it pass without having a proper celebration. Granddad.

RIC

Are you annoyed?

ALF

Annoyed. Mate, I’m over the moon. I know I said I didn’t want a big shindig or anything like that, but in the fairdinkum department when people were giving me a wide berth all day I really started to have second thoughts.

MARTHA

Well lucky we knew you were just full of hot air then.

ALF

That’s enough out of you.

MITCH and FLYNN walk in.

RIC

Ah, looks like there’s more surprises to come.

ALF

Eh.

MITCH

I think he might be talking about me.

ALF

Strike me pink. Mitch. How are you mate?

MITCH

Happy birthday.

ALF

Thanks.

DAN walks into the kitchen. SALLY, PIPPA, LANCE, COLLEEN and LEAH are there.

COLLEEN

Of course, Lancie wasn’t always an angel especially when that good for nothing Martin Dibble was around.

DAN

Sorry, Martin.

PIPPA

Dibble.

IRENE

Dibble.

COLLEEN

Lancie’s so called best friend. Always coming up with some scheme or prank. He wasn’t a good influence on my boy.

LANCE

Fair go mum.

COLLEEN

They spent their days running around from one floozy to another.

LEAH and DAN try to sneak away. PIPPA and LEAH laugh

COLLEEN

They never had much luck in that department though. Can’t think why?

CELIA follows MORAG around.

LANCE

Hey Mogs. Get me a coldie while you’re at it, eh?

CELIA

Morag, you’re not listening to me.

MORAG

Oh, for heavens sake Celia. I’m quite capable of deciding what I can and can’t drink.

CELIA

But you know what you’re like when you’re intoxicated.

BLAKE and SOPHIE stand together.

BLAKE

Ho, ho, ho. Look out. Button down the hatches. So, what do you think Soph? You know, made a pretty good team this afternoon looking.

SOPHIE

Blake.

BLAKE

Sorry. You better get used to it because I’m not going to give up.

MITCH and DUNCAN stand together.

MITCH

I’m just going to have a pit stop. Grab us a drink and I’ll catch up with you in second.

DUNCAN

Good, no worries.

DUNCAN walks over to ALF.

DUNCAN

Great party, isn’t it?

ALF

Yeah, too right.

DUNCAN

I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get the flight over. Glad I did though. Be a shame to miss today.

ALF

Yeah, it would.

PIPPA walks over to ALF.

PIPPA

Alf, you have to come and rescue us. Colleen and Lance have just started on about the great home war disaster of nineteen-ninety.

ALF

God, they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel good and early.

PIPPA and ALF walk away. COLLEEN, LANCE, DAN and LEAH sit together.

LANCE

Aw, congratulations.

DAN

Thanks.

LEAH

Thank you.

LANCE

Are you going to have a honeymoon?

LEAH

Aw, we’re just going to go up the coast for a few days.

LANCE

Aw, yeah, yeah. Me and Debs had a pretty low key honeymoon too, eh. All you need is a comfy bed, eh. That’s all the really matters.

DAN

Yes.

HAYLEY and MITCH walk up to KIM.

KIM

Hey. You look great.

HAYLEY

Thanks. So do you. Em, this is Mitch. An old friend of mine. He’s used to live with Alf and this is Kim, the babies father.

MITCH

Aw, right. Nice to meet you.

KIM

Yeah, you too.

DUNCAN walks up to them.

DUNCAN

Ah, I got that beer for you Mitch.

MITCH

Ah, good on you mate. Cheers. No worries.

DUNCAN walks over to ALF.

DUNCAN

Ah, dad. Can I get you another beer?

ALF

Ah, I’m pretty right, thanks mate. Oh, Don. There you are.

ALF walks away from DUNCAN. JESSE and CHLOE are sitting on the couch.

CHLOE

You are so going to pay for that.

JESSE

Bring it on.

CHLOE

Yeah, come on.

CHLOE walks away. DAN walks over to JESSE.

DAN

So, you and Chloe?

JESSE

There’s nothing really happening there yet mate.

DAN

Does she know how you feel though?

JESSE

Well, she’s just out of a full on relationships.

DAN

Well all the more reason she’d be looking for a bit of, em, happiness. Tell her.

CHLOE walks over to them.

CHLOE

Come on. Come and dance with me.

JESSE

No, no.

CHLOE

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

JESSE

I’m not dancing Chloe. I can’t.

CHLOE

I’m not taking no for an answer. Get on your feet.

DAN

Go on.

JESSE

I can’t dance.

SALLY walks into them. ALF and DON stand talking.

ALF

You should have seen the look on your face standing up there at the head of the bed of red hot coals.

DON

You never looked too thrilled either.

CELIA walks over to them.

CELIA

I’m sorry to interrupt Donald. You simply must come with me. It’s Morag. She’s utterly impossible.

DON

Well.

CELIA

Come along. She’s this way.

ALF

Good luck Don.

CELIA and DON walk away. DUNCAN walks up to ALF.

DUNCAN

Trust Auntie Celia to get in the way, eh.

ALF

Yeah.

MARTHA stands at the door.

MARTHA

Granddad, granddad.

DUNCAN

Ah, dad.

ALF

Ah, just a tick mate.

ALF walks over to MARTHA.

MARTHA

Just because you haven’t had enough surprises for one day.

SAM walks in.

ALF

Sam.

SAM

Alf. Happy birthday.

ALF

Aw, thanks for coming mate. Are Sandy and Bella in the car?

SAM

No, they couldn’t make it, but they did say to send their love.

WILL walks in.

WILL

All right, all right, let’s not get too soppy here.

ALF

Aw, stone the flamin’ crows.

WILL

How are you Stewie?

ALF

Good mate.

JESSE dances. CHLOE, SALLY, CASSIE and MARTHA watch him.

CHLOE

Aw, yeah.

SALLY

You’re looking good.

CASSIE

Yeah.

JESSE turns to CHLOE.

JESSE

I told you, I’m not much of a dancer.

CHLOE

Shut up. You’re fantastic.

JESSE and CHLOE start dancing.

CHLOE

What?

JESSE

There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime or not?

CHLOE

Ah, Jesse. I’m really sorry if I’ve given you the wrong signals. I’m not really ready for that.

JESSE

No. It’s cool. It’s fine.

CHLOE

Please don’t get upset.

JESSE

Em, excuse me for a second.

JESSE walks away. WILL, HAYLEY, MITCH and KIM stand together.

HAYLEY

Aw, it’s a shame Gypsy and the others couldn’t come.

WILL

Yes, and she said to say hi. And she also told me to tell you to take it easy.

HAYLEY

Yeah, I have been, I promise. My guard dog over here wouldn’t have it any other way.

IRENE walks over to WILL.

IRENE

Oi, you big galloon. Where’s my hug?

IRENE and WILL cuddle. SOPHIE runs upstairs. SALLY follows her.

SALLY

Soph. I just saw you and Blake talking. Is everything OK?

SOPHIE

Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could say that.

SALLY

Really.

SOPHIE

Yeah, well I had a chat with Pip this afternoon about how to trust again and, you know, of course she was right one again and I don’t know. It’s kind of like how it used to be with him.

SALLY

Aw, right. So you’re getting back together.

SOPHIE

Look, I don’t know, I don’t know. We’ll see, OK. Anyway, I’ll be back in a tick.

SALLY

OK.

JESSE is walking across the room. CHLOE walks up to him.

CHLOE

Hey Jess. Where you going?

JESSE

Aw, I’ve just got a bit of a headache so I might take off.

CHLOE

Oh, look. I’m sorry. I hope you’re not feeling bad about before.

JESSE

Oh, it’s got absolutely nothing to do with before I promise. Catch you soon, eh.

JESSE walks out. He picks up a bottle of wine. COLLEEN walks in. KIM walks over to HAYLEY, WILL and MITCH.

KIM

Anyone else want another drink?

HAYLEY

No thanks.

MITCH

Why not?

MITCH walks away.

WILL

So what’s the story with him?

HAYLEY

No story. We’re just seeing what happens.

WILL

And Scott?

HAYLEY

Is out of the picture. I’m moving on.

SAM

Can you believe that Bella’s starting school next year? I know, it’s crazy, isn’t it?

PIPPA walks over to ALF.

PIPPA

I was just think Alf, em, how much Ails would have really loved this.

ALF

Yeah, yeah, she would. I just wish she was here to see it for herself.

PIPPA

Aw, I think she probably is, somewhere.

SARAH walks in.

ALF

Ah, Sarah.

SARAH

Alf.

SARAH and ALF cuddle. IRENE and CHLOE stand together.

IRENE

Oh, my godfather. What a turn up. Young Sarah Thompson’s just arrived.

SARAH and PIPPA cuddle.

IRENE

Or is that Sarah O’Neale. Aw, god I can’t keep up. I’m pretty sure she married Tug and took his name.

SARAH and SALLY cuddle.

IRENE

Sweetheart, are you OK?

CHLOE

Yeah, I’m fine.

TROY walks in.

TROY

Chloe. I need to talk to you.

CHLOE

Troy, what are you doing here?

TROY

They let me out on bail. I had to see you.

IRENE

You clear out of here sunshine.

WILL

Is there a problem?

IRENE

No, he was just leaving.

TROY

I just want to talk to her.

WILL and FLYNN start pushing TROY towards the door.

IRENE

Will, no.

TROY

Just talk to me. If I can’t have you, no one else will.

IRENE

Will.

Later, CHLOE, IRENE, SALLY and PIPPA stand together.

SALLY

I’ll just get you a drink.

MITCH walks over to DUNCAN.

MITCH

Are you all right mate?

DUNCAN

Yeah, yeah. Another drink.

MITCH

Yeah, sure.

DUNCAN walks away. KIM walks over to MARTHA and HAYLEY.

KIM

Come on Hayley. You can avoid the dance floor all night. Excuse me.

HAYLEY

What happened to sit down, relax and take it easy?

KIM

It’s one dance. Come on. I’ll go easy on you.

HAYLEY

Aw, easy.

KIM

Yeah.

BLAKE walks through to the kitchen. MORAG and CELIA are talking. SOPHIE is sitting on the veranda. BLAKE walks up to her.

BLAKE

Catching some fresh air while you can.

SOPHIE

The stars are always so much brighter out here. I know it sounds ridiculous, but.

BLAKE

No, no, no it doesn’t. I mean, sometimes it seems that everything’s a little brighter around here.

SOPHIE

Blake.

BLAKE

Soph, just listen OK.

CASSIE and MARTHA walk out.

CASSIE

Sorry.

CASSIE and MARTHA walk back inside.

BLAKE

Look, I know that I messed up, OK, really, really bad and I know that it’s going to take time for you to forgive me, but you and me, David and Tamara, I am so sure that we can have the most amazing life together, but I need you to give me a chance.

SOPHIE

You know, if we’re going to do this it’s got to be for good Blake. No, I’m not.

BLAKE

Hey, hey, hey. Sophie, I’m not going anywhere. No way. Not again.

BLAKE and SOPHIE kiss. Inside, MARTHA, CASSIE, RIC, ALF and MORAG stand together.

ALF

Of course, the good thing about it is we’ve got the whole family together and how long is it since we managed that, eh.

MORAG

Yeah, well lets just don’t make a habit of it shall we.

ALF

What’s up with you Morag?

CELIA walks over.

CELIA

There you are Morag. I got held up with Colleen Smart. Honestly, that women doesn’t know when she’s said enough.

MARTHA

Hey, why don’t we take a photo while everyone’s here?

CELIA

What a wonderful idea. Duncan, come on. We’re going to have a family photo. Look enthusiastic.

ALF

You know, it’s not going to be quite the same without Barbara and Ruth here. I mean, if we’ve got them, we’ve got the whole clan.

CELIA

What about Quinn?

ALF

What about her?

CELIA

Well, we’ve got Duncan representing the US faction of the family.

ALF

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it’s just not going to be quite the same without Ruth, herself, being here, is it?

DUNCAN

I give up.

ALF

Sorry.

DUNCAN

It doesn’t matter what I do or how hard I try to make things up to you, it’s just never good enough, is it?

ALF

Duncan.

DUNCAN

Just forget it.

DUNCAN walks out. KIM and HAYLEY walk out into the hall.

KIM

I shouldn’t have pushed you to dance. Sorry.

WILL walks through.

WILL

What’s wrong?

HAYLEY

Nothing. I just need a breather, that’s all.

KIM

I’ll get you a water.

KIM walks out.

HAYLEY

Hey, don’t stress. I truly am OK.

WILL

Fair enough, but while we’re telling the truth, do you want to tell me what the deal is with him?

HAYLEY

What do you mean?

WILL

You don’t like him.

HAYLEY

Well, of course I do. He’s a great guy. He’s caring, he’s responsible and he will be a fantastic dad.

WILL

All good things, but there’s not exactly a lot of passion behind what you’re saying.

HAYLEY

Will, please.

WILL

You still love Scott, don’t you?

HAYLEY

I told you. Scott and I aren’t going to happen.

WILL

That’s not what I asked. So what, you’re just going to move on with Kim as if he’s some kind of second best?

HAYLEY

No, that’s not what it is OK. Kim, he’s.

WILL

He’s a great guy. Yeah, you said. It’s not fair on you Hayley or Kim for you to go in to something with him if you’re hearts actually somewhere else.

HAYLEY

All I want is a happy and stable life for my child.

WILL

But Hayley.

HAYLEY

No, Will. Please, don’t OK. You can’t just come back to town for five minutes and tell me what’s going on with my life. I do have feelings for Kim and I’m sure in time those feelings will grow, but please, just get off my back for now, OK.

HAYLEY walks into the living room. ALF, MORAG, CELIA, RIC and MARTHA stand together.

ALF

I didn’t mean anything by it.

RIC

Aw, don’t worry about him granddad. He’s a tosser.

MORAG

Aw, Ric.

RIC

Well I’m sorry, but he’s making dramas out of nothing.

MORAG

He just needs some time to cool down.

CASSIE signals at RIC from the door.

RIC

Talk about timing.

ALF

Sorry.

MARTHA

Well, forget about Duncan for a second.

RIC

Yeah, we might not have been able to get Roo, but we have done our best on getting the missing family member here.

BARBARA walks in.

BARBARA

Hello Alf.

ALF

Stone the flamin’ crows. Barbara.

BARBARA and ALF cuddle.

ALF

It’s good to see you darling.

BARBARA

Happy birthday.

ALF

Thanks, thanks. Come in, come in.

BLAKE, SOPHIE, FLYNN and SALLY stand together in the kitchen.

FLYNN

Congratulations.

SALLY

That’s fantastic.

FLYNN

So, it’s for good this time.

BLAKE

Without a doubt.

SOPHIE

Aw, yeah. I’m not letting him go again, trust me.

BLAKE

Does that mean you’ll put the ring back on?

SOPHIE

Sorry.

BLAKE

The engagement ring Soph.

SOPHIE

Really.

BLAKE

I meant what I said. This is for real Soph.

ALF

All right, everyone, photo time, eh, and I don’t just mean the family, I mean everybody. Come on everyone. Up you get.

CELIA plays around with MORAG’S scarf.

MORAG

Stop doing that.

They all gather together. DAN is taking the photo.

DAN

You’re all going to have to squeeze in a bit, ladies and gentlemen.

KIM walks in. He stands in front of everyone.

DAN

OK, you’ve got about five seconds. The timers set to five seconds. Here we go.

DAN runs over. In the photo from are, from left to right, back to front, CASSIE, LANCE, SAM, WILL, DON, ALF, MARTHA, RIC, MORAG, CELIA, IRENE, BARBARA, PIPPA, FLYNN, MITCH, HAYLEY, DAN, SARAH, SOPHIE, BLAKE, CHLOE, KIM, LEAH, COLLEEN and SALLY. Later, MARTHA is standing up in front of everyone.

MARTHA

We won’t keep the party on hold for too long, we promise, but there are a few people here who would like to say a couple of words about granddad, so, Mr. Fisher.

DON stands up.

DON

Well, em, what can I say. Quite simply, Alf Stewart is the best friend I’ve ever had. He’s loyal, he’s open, he’s honest and it’s been one of the greatest pleasures of my life to call you a friends. Thanks Alf.

DON sits down. CELIA stands up.

CELIA

One of the things that Alfred has spent most of the last sixty years trying to hide from the world is that underneath he’s really just one big softie.

ALF

Aw, fair go sis.

CELIA

It’s true, and never was it more evident than when he first met Ailsa. I’ve never witnessed such mutual love and devotion. Alfred worshipped the ground that Ailsa walked on, as she did him.

CELIA sits down. RIC stands up.

RIC

Well, em, it wasn’t exactly smooth sailing when granddad and I found each other, but, em I picked up a couple of things about him pretty quickly. I learned that he loves his beer and his footy. As we all know he loves his fishing. He hates bludgers and whingers and em, well bludgers, but he’s not afraid of hard work and he’ll be the first person to give you a hand if you need the help, but most importantly, the thing I learned about granddad is that, em, he loves his friends and family more than words. I’m flamin’ proud of you gramps.

Everyone claps. SALLY stands up.

SALLY

Em, a couple of months ago, em, there was a town meeting and Mr. Stewart turned up to talk to us about the spirit of Summer Bay, but, em, when I sat down to think about what I was going to say today, when I actually had to look back over the past eighteen years I realised that he is that spirit. I mean, you’re love of this town and your commitment to the community and no matter what any of us have ever had to face, you’ve always been there for us and you’ve been there for us and you’ve been there for me too. You know, for all of the best times and the worst ones too. No matter what it was, you were there without question and that has meant the world to me. Sorry. You mean the world to me Mr. Stewart. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to get upset. Yeah, I have. I think that I’m really lucky to have been blessed with the most incredible family and I also think that I’m even luckier that one of the most important members of that family is still here, right beside me. My life and all of our lives are far better for having you in it. Happy birthday.

SALLY and ALF cuddle.

A FLASHBACK-THE CARAVAN PARK

ALF is there. This is from the pilot episode.

A FLASHBACK-THE CARAVAN PARK

FLOSS talks to SALLY. This is from the pilot episode.

A FLASHBACK-THE CARAVAN PARK

FRANK and TOM are there. This is from the pilot episode.

A FLASHBACK-THE CHURCH

FRANK and ROO argue at their wedding. This is from Episode 104.

A FLASHBACK-CELIA’S STORE’S FLAT

FRANK and BOBBY return home after their wedding. This is from Episode 244.

A FLASHBACK-THE BEACH

BLAKE and MEG are there. MEG has died. This is from Episode 976.

A FLASHBACK-THE HOSPITAL

SOPHIE holds TAMARA. KAREN and PIPPA are there. This is from Episode 1030.

A FLASHBACK-THE CHURCH

SALLY is there. DON helps ANGEL down the aisle. SHANE is there. DAMIAN looks at SELINA. SELINA smiles back at him. This is from Episode 1662.

A FLASHBACK-THE BEACH

SHANNON and SELINA nudge each other. This is from Episode 2000.

A FLASHBACK-THE HEADLAND

SHANE dies. ANGEL and DYLAN are there. This is from Episode 1887.

A FLASHBACK-A PARK

DON and MARILYN kiss at their wedding. This is from Episode 2036.

A FLASHBACK-THE BEACH

IRENE smiles. REBECCA and TRAVIS get married. DON and MARILYN are there. This is from Episode 2295.

A FLASHBACK-THE CARAVAN PARK

JUSTINE, SAM, SALLY, TIEGAN, TRAVIS and REBECCA wave PIPPA and IAN goodbye. This is from Episode 2343.

A FLASHBACK-THE HOSPITAL

CHLOE kisses LACHIE.

A FLASHBACK-THE HOSPITAL

CHLOE holds OLIVIA. IRENE watches her .

A FLASHBACK-KEN’S GARAGE

WILL is there. KEN is crushed under the car. This is from Episode 2885.

A FLASHBACK-THE BEACHSIDE DINER

AILSA has a heart attack. ALF and DUNCAN are there. This is from Episode 2960.

A FLASHBACK-THE HOSPITAL

LEAH gives birth to VJ. HELEN and VINNIE are there. LEAH and VINNIE kiss. This is from Episode 3190.

A FLASHBACK-A ROAD

GYPSY gives birth to OLIVIA. WILL is there. This is from Episode 3190.

A FLASHBACK-THE WHARF

WILL and GYPSY get married. They kiss. This is from Episode 3215.

A FLASHBACK-A PARK

SALLY and FLYNN kiss at their wedding. It starts to rain. This is from Episode 3538.

A FLASHBACK-THE SURF CLUB

HAYLEY and NOAH get married. They kiss. LEAH, DANI and SCOTT are there. This is from Episode 3773.

A FLASHBACK-THE CARAVAN PARK

ALF is there. This is from the Pilot Episode.

SUMMER BAY HOUSE

MARTHA holds a cake. ALF blows the candles out.

ALF

Thank you very much, one and all. I’m just really appreciative, that you know, you’ve all come back to the bay. Please come back more often. Have a good night. Sorry.

Later, people are leaving. COLLEEN leaves. IRENE cuddles ALF.

IRENE

See you darling.

ALF

See ya.

HAYLEY, DAN and LEAH walk out.

FLYNN

See you Sam.

LANCE and SAM walk out. SOPHIE and ALF cuddle.

SOPHIE

I’ll see you there.

ALF

You will indeed.

CHLOE

How’s coming with me? So, it’s one two, three and we’ll get you in the car.

ALF

Yeah, I’ll get you.

CHLOE

See you Sal.

CHLOE, KIM and MARTHA walk out. BARBARA cuddles ALF.

CELIA

I’ll go in the back seat Morag. I couldn’t possibly squeeze into Barbara’s little car with my knees the way they are.

BARBARA walks out.

MORAG

Oh, shut up Celia.

ALF

Oh, good night Morag.

MORAG and CELIA walk out. PIPPA and ALF cuddle.

PIPPA

Thank you for such a lovely night Alf.

ALF

Thanks for being here Pip.

PIPPA

Aw, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. It was very special.

ALF

Yeah, it was a bit special.

DON

And don’t forget a big head after all those speeches.

SALLY

Oh, don’t worry. I’ll pull him into line if he gets out of hand.

DON

Good. Well, we better get moving, OK.

ALF

Thanks for coming mate.

SALLY and PIPPA hug. PIPPA and DON walk out.

SALLY

What a night.

ALF

Sorry to leave you with all this mess.

SALLY

Aw, don’t worry about it. I’ll just clean up a few things tonight. Do the rest in the morning.

ALF

Thanks Sal.

SALLY

Aw, it’s OK. It’s my pleasure.

ALF

No, no, no. Not for tonight. Not just for tonight. For everything.

SALLY

That’s OK. Happy birthday.

SALLY and ALF hug.

ALF

I’ll see you there, eh.

ALF walks out. SALLY shuts the door.

A ROAD

CHLOE, ALF, KIM, MARTHA and RIC are in CHLOE’S car.

ALF

I thought Morag was going to rip Celia’s head off at one point.

RIC

Did you see how red her face went?

CHLOE

At least the whole night wasn’t a disaster.

ALF

Sorry.

CHLOE

Aw, Troy. I’m so sorry he turned up like that.

ALF

Ah, don’t be silly love. It wasn’t your fault. In fact, I reckon I won the prize for the biggest drama of the night.