Scripts - Episode 3267

THE BEACHSIDE DINER

JADE, KIRSTY, SEB, LARA and NICK all sit at a table.

SEB

Thought resuscitation was the hardest.

NICK

What’s hard about it? I mean, you just pucker up and get ready for it. You can help him practise if you want.

JADE

Behave.

SEB

Yeah, or I’ll make you.

JADE

Mate, you wish. Look, I’m going to go get a coke. Does anybody want one?

KIRSTY

Eh, no. I don’t want one.

LARA

Eh, no thanks. I’ve got to go home and help mum with the kids.

SEB

I’ll walk you.

LARA

OK.

NICK

See you at my place later.

NICK walks away with his frame. SEB and LARA walk out.

KIRSTY

So, Seb and Lara. They’re official.

JADE

Yeah.

KIRSTY

And you didn’t think you should tell me?

JADE

Well, we haven’t exactly been talking much lately.

KIRSTY

Seb and I have, and he didn’t bother me either.

JADE

I thought you were over Seb?

SEB

Yeah, I am. I am over Seb. I just think it would be nice if you told me.

NICK walks back across.

NICK

Told what?

JADE & KIRSTY

Nothing.

IRENE walks in. ALF and COLLEEN are at the counter.

IRENE

Ah, here you go. Got a present for you.

ALF

Oh, right, yeah. You expecting a big roll up?

IRENE

Well Paris is pretty confident. The parents will want to, you know, meet him.

COLLEEN

Aw, I don’t care how hard he tries. He’ll never replace Donald Fisher.

ALF

Aw, fair go Colleen. Give the bloke a chance.

COLLEEN walks away.

IRENE

You know, I don’t think he wants to anyway. The two of them are like chalk and cheese. For starters Paris looks more like a lifeguard than he does a principal.

COLLEEEN walks back across.

COLLEEN

I heard he’s very young.

IRENE

Yeah, his approach to the job is certainly different. Mind you, I can’t say that I’m altogether against that. He’s given me a few extra responsibilities. Some good. Some not so good.

ALF

Such as?

IRENE

Such as now I’ve got to go over to Don’s place and invite him over to this meet and greet thingy.

COLLEEN

Oh, that could be a bit awkward.

IRENE

Now there’s an understatement. I’ll see you later.

IRENE begins to walk out.

ALF

Aw, righto. Oh, listen. How’s young Noah going?

IRENE

Aw, he’s a lot better. Thanks for asking love. Mind you, the poor kid doesn’t have much choice with Hayley in charge.

IRENE walks out.

THE HOSPITAL

NOAH sits on the bed. HAYLEY is there.

NOAH

Hayls, it was meningococcal, not Alzheimer’s. I think I’ve got everything.

HAYLEY

Yeah, I’m just checking.

NOAH

You aren’t going to carry on like this, twenty-four seven are you?

HAYLEY

Anymore complaints and you can forget staying with me. I’ll drop you straight over to your place and I swear Jude won’t be nearly as patient when you get home.

NOAH

OK, OK, it’s cool. The truth is I just want to spend more time with you.

HAYLEY

See, now you’re just sooking up.

NOAH

Yeah, because I couldn’t have got through this without you. It’s made me realise what’s important. It’s you.

HAYLEY and NOAH kiss. CHARLOTTE walks in.

CHARLOTTE

None of that on hospital premises thanks guys.

NOAH

Sorry Doc.

CHARLOTTE

OK. Just remember you’re still pretty weak. You need to take it easy for a while.

HAYLEY

Yeah, I’ll keep him in line. Don’t worry about that.

CHARLOTTE

Here’s your medication.

CHARLOTTE hands NOAH a bag.

CHARLOTTE

Directions are on the packet, but if you have any questions call me.

HAYLEY

Well, we’ve got everything. Let’s get going.

CHARLOTTE

Walk out here.

HAYLEY, NOAH and CHARLOTTE walk out the room. JUDE is standing outside.

JUDE

Is this a free man I see before me?

NOAH

Yes, yes I am, but you’re too late. We’re out of here.

CHARLOTTE

I’m about to go on a break.

JUDE

Aw, even better.

HAYLEY

Well, if you miss him too much feel free to drop round anytime.

JUDE

Are you serious? With this guy at your house, it’s as good as a holiday. Come here.

NOAH and JUDE cuddle.

JUDE

Yeah,  yeah.

HAYLEY laughs, then her and NOAH walk away.

CHARLOTTE

I was just about to call you.

JUDE

Yeah.

CHARLOTTE

I’ve got some news.

THE BEACHSIDE DINER

CHARLOTTE and JUDE sit at a table.

CHARLOTTE

We’re having twins.

JUDE

Excuse me.

CHARLOTTE

I had an ultrasound today.

JUDE

Twins.

CHARLOTTE

Makes sense with all the morning sickness. Supposedly you get it really badly when you’re carrying two.

JUDE

Ah, I thought you were supposed to be having an ultrasound in a couple of weeks.

CHARLOTTE

Ah, but there was a training sonographer and he wanted a guinea pig. I volunteered.

JUDE

Ah.

CHARLOTTE

Jude.

JUDE

Eh, sorry, I mean. I’m just blown away by this, aren’t you?

CHARLOTTE

I guess I’ve had a couple of hours to digest it.

JUDE

You digested this in a couple of hours?

DON’S HOUSE

DON and JUNE are there. JUNE walks out the kitchen carrying two cups. She hands one to DON.

JUNE

There is going to be free range egg all over departments face when that document gets out. Have you decided how you’re going to handle it yet?

DON

Eh, well, Brett certainly did take a risk leaking it to Sally. I certainly won’t be doing anything hasty with it.

JUNE

Oh, always the cautious one.

DON

I’ll take that as a compliment June, but yes, in answer to your question, I have decided what to do with it.

JUNE

The suspense is killing me.

There is a knock on the door.

DON

Excuse me.

DON answers the door. IRENE is there.

DON

Oh, Irene.

IRENE

Don, June. Eh, is this a bad time?

DON

No, of course not. Come in.

IRENE

Em, love, I won’t. I’m just here on school business actually. Paris asked me to come around to see if you’d be interested in coming to this meet and greet do tomorrow arvo.

DON

Aw, did he? What a surprise.

IRENE

Yeah, not me for six too actually. He’s certainly not the most predictable bloke in the world.

DON

Mmm, I would have thought I’d be the last person he’d want there.

IRENE

I suppose it’s just a show of good faith.

DON

Oh, well in that case I’ll return the gesture then.

IRENE

Aw, good on you darl.

DON

Yes. How’s he settling in?

IRENE

Good. Good. He’s pretty conshy. I didn’t think it was possible, but he actually manages to get in there earlier than you did.

DON

Does he?

THE BEACHSIDE DINER

JUDE and CHARLOTTE sit a table.

JUDE

I used to see these parents walking in the street. Double strollers and you go hi ya, it’s got to be hard work and you’ve got buy two of everything. Then there’s the nights. I mean, trying to get to sleep.

CHARLOTTE

There’s got to be something good about it.

JUDE

You think I’m not happy?

CHARLOTTE

That’s how it was sounding.

JUDE

Aw, no babe. Look, you’ve got me all wrong. I mean, I’m shocked. I mean, it’s not because I don’t like twins. I like twins. It’s amazing. It’s just, I mean this has made so much more real.

CHARLOTTE

And it wasn’t before.

JUDE

Yeah, I mean, but, I mean look at them. It’s just a total little family here. It just happened so quick. What if I stuff things up?

CHARLOTTE

You’re not going to. You’re going to be a great father.

JUDE

You think. I mean, I haven’t exactly had the greatest role model there. My dad left us when I was twelve. When he was around we pretty much wished he wasn’t.

CHARLOTTTE

So, you know who you don’t want to be. That’s a good place to start.

JUDE smiles at CHARLOTTE.

THE BEACH HOUSE

NICK sits on his bed. SEB walks in.

SEB

Sailing.

NICK

It’s cool. Seb, it’s a one man boat. It’s easy to manoeuvre.

SEB

That’s crazy. You can barely walk.

NICK

It doesn’t mean I can’t sail.

SEB

What if something happens? What if you do your back in again?

NICK

I’ll be extra careful.

SEB

No way.

NICK

Man, I’m doing this OK and I want you to help.

SEB

You are not doing this and I am not going to help you. You want a drink?

SEB walks out. HAYLEY and NOAH sit on the couch. IRENE walks in with the shopping.

IRENE

Hey there sunshine. Looking pretty good.

NOAH

Aw, I’m feeling pretty good.

IRENE

Right, well I hope you lot are hungry because I’m planning on cooking up a storm for the guest of honour here tonight.

HAYLEY

Aw, I should have told you. I’m ordering a pizza. A treat for Noah.

IRENE

A pizza.

HAYLEY

Yeah, pizza and videos make good love, don’t they baby.

NOAH

Yeah, absolutely. Then again I wouldn’t say no to Irene’s gourmet feasts either.

HAYLEY

Fine, but I’m giving you a hand.

IRENE

Uh, uh, uh. Everything’s under control darl. You stay there.

IRENE walks through to the kitchen.

NOAH

Yes, you.  You haven’t stopped since I got sick.

IRENE walks back through.

IRENE

Exactly, so how about I treat both of you?

HAYLEY

Em, thanks Irene.

NOAH

This is the way it should be.

IRENE

You pair. Hopeless romantics, both of you.

HAYLEY

Not romantic. Just grateful to still have each other.

NOAH and HAYLEY cuddle. IRENE walks through to the kitchen.

SUMMER BAY HOUSE

JADE and SHELLEY are at the table. RHYS is in the laundry.

RHYS

So Jade, what do you think? Is this man live up to your standards of excellence?

JADE

I think he needs help. I made me take down my forty hour famine poster and then gave me permission to put it back up again.

SHELLEY

Oh, well that’s different.

RHYS

Tomorrow’s meet and greet should be interesting.

KIRSTY walks in.

KIRSTY

Proxy, if you want to ask me. He just wants to suck up to everybody.

RHYS

Gee, thanks Kirsty. As always your entry is invaluable.

KIRSTY

Jade, this is Lara’s.

JADE

Yes, we are doing an assignment together. These are here notes.

KIRSTY

Trust you to work with another dork.

JADE

Why are you so down on her? Lara’s really nice one you get to know.

KIRSTY

I didn’t say she wasn’t.

JADE

No, you just can’t stand the fact that she’s going out with Seb.

KIRSTY

What? As if I care that she’s going out with Seb.

JADE

Yeah, right.

KIRSTY

It’s true, all right. The only thing I care about right now is my training now that Seb and Lara are going out with each other he’s not going to have time for me anymore. Like every body else around here.

KIRSTY walks away.

THE BEACH HOUSE

NICK and SEB are in NICK’S bedroom.

NICK

No one’s going to catch us Seb. They’re all going to be at school meeting the frog.

SEB

Will you give up. I already told you it’s too dangerous.

NICK

How? I’ll have a lifejacket on. OK. I know how to sail a boat. You’ll be following behind.

SEB

I still don’t get it. Why now? Why not in a few more weeks when you’re far more on your feet?

NICK

Because I think I can. Seb, do you think that John McLean turned away from anything because it wasn’t safe? He wouldn’t be where he is today if he didn’t take chances. OK. I have to do this and I have to prove to myself that I can. I can’t do it without you. I need you to do this. Please Seb.

SEB

One hundred metres out. That is it. Straight back.

NICK

I need to go more than that man.

SEB

One hundred metres. Take it or leave it mate.

NICK

Thanks Seb. You’re a legend.

SUMMER BAY HIGH

PARIS puts a poster up. DON walks in.

DON

Mr. Burnett.

PARIS

Yes. Can I help you?

DON

I’m Donald Fisher.

PARIS

Ah, pleasure to meet you.

DON

Thank you. Em, this is for you.

PARIS

Been looking forward to saying thank you. I’ve inherited a very well run school.

DON

Oh, good, good. That’s very gratifying to hear. I thought it might interest you.

PARIS

It certainly does. How did you get this?

DON

Well, that’s not really relevant. What is relevant is, eh, what you do with it.

PARIS

This is pretty incriminating stuff. It explains a hell of a lot about the school closure.

DON

Yes, it does. Well, I believe the information is now in the appropriate hands I’ll trust you’ll use it accordingly.

PARIS

I certainly will.

DON

Right, well, I won’t keep you any longer then.

PARIS

I can count on seeing you at this afternoon’s meet and greet?

DON

Yes.

DON walks out.

THE BEACH HOUSE

NOAH and HAYLEY walk down the stairs. IRENE is sitting at the table.

IRENE

Good morning. Did you sleep all right?

NOAH

Yeah, apart from this one lying diagonally across me, fine.

NOAH and HAYLEY sit at the table.

HAYLEY

Hello, I didn’t lie diagonally.

NOAH

Joking. As far as I’m concerned, the closer you are the warmer.

IRENE

Oh.

NOAH knocks over the milk.

HAYLEY

Aw.

NOAH

Aw, such a cluts.

IRENE

I’ll get a cloth, darl.

NOAH

Maybe Charlotte’s right. I am still a little weak.

HAYLEY

Noah, you were really sick. No one expects you to be a hundred percent.

NOAH

What about one eighty and I’m incontinent? Will it still be OK then?

HAYLEY

You better believe it.

IRENE

Well, in that case you better start practising missy.

HAYLEY

Thanks.

IRENE

Anyone for toast?

NOAH

Em, me please.

IRENE walks into the kitchen.

HAYLEY

Do you think we’ll be together when we’re eighty?

NOAH

Aw, like I said last night. We’ve got a good thing going here. I don’t want it to end, ever.

HAYLEY

Yeah, me either, but I’ve been thinking. Maybe it’s time we started looking for a place again.

NOAH

Eh.

HAYLEY

Well I just don’t want to waste anymore time being apart.

NOAH

Yeah, but if I’m a cluts.

NICK walks out his room.

NICK

Good morning all. Aw, Irene. You ready to rock and roll?

IRENE

Gee, darl. I’d really love to, but sadly I’ve got to go to school.

NICK

Ha, ha, ha. That’s funny. Mind if I use it sometime?

IRENE

How come you’re so chirpy this morning?

NICK

Ah, it’s a beautiful day. What’s there not to be cheery about?

SUMMER BAY HIGH

SEB and NICK are at there lockers.

NICK

What do you mean you’re not doing it?

SEB

I’ve thought about it OK, and if something goes wrong it’s going to hit the fan, big time.

NICK

How many times do I have to tell you nothing is going to? I’m fully into doing this, all right.

LARA and JADE walk up to them.

LARA

Do what?

JADE

Come on, tell us or we walk.

NICK

OK, I’m going sailing this afternoon.

JADE

You’re what? How?

NICK

Well, we’ve got it all sussed. I’m going to be in a little boat and Seb’s is going to be in a tinnie behind me keeping an eye on me.

JADE

You’re going on your own?

LARA

Are you sure this is such a good idea?

NICK

He’s sure.

PARIS and IRENE are walking along the corridor.

PARIS

I was wondering how Don became aware of the fact that I liked to come in to school so early?

IRENE

I might have made a mention of it.

PARIS

I understand you and Don had a close working relationship, but school business has to remain in school.

IRENE

But it was just a passing comment. Absolutely nothing was meant by it.

PARIS

I’m not saying there was. I’m just pointing it out for future reference, oh, and thanks for all your help with the meet and greet. Really well done.

PARIS walks away.

DON’S HOUSE

JUNE and DON are in the kitchen.

JUNE

But how on earth do you know that you can trust him?

DON

Because it’s quite clear that Mr. Burnett is an ambitious man. He certainly wouldn’t be adverse to keeping Summer Bay High open if only to further his own career.

JUNE

Why didn’t you take it to the department yourself? It would have helped your case.

DON

Aw, come on June. We both know my track record with the department. They would have almost certainly misconstrued my motives and seen it simply as a ploy to get my old job back.

JUNE

Well, isn’t that what you want?

DON

Yeah, well of course it is, but keeping the school open is much more important and I honestly believe that using Paris is the best way to achieve that.

THE BEACHSIDE DINER

LARA, SEB, NICK and JADE sit at a table.

SEB

If something goes wrong it’s better that you’re not involved.

JADE

There is no way you’re doing this without us, is there?

LARA

You’ll have to kill us first.

KIRSTY walks in.

KIRSTY

Hi guys. What are you up to? OK, I’m sorry. It’s your little gangs business, right.

KIRSTY walks away. CHARLOTTE and JUDE walk in.

JUDE

So, when can we tell everyone that you and I made twins?

CHARLOTTE

What happened to yesterdays fear and trepidation, huh?

JUDE

Aw, don’t tease me. I reckon you and I are going to make great parents.

CHARLOTTE

Really?

JUDE

Yep.

CHARLOTTE

Well in that case no reason why we can’t start telling people now.

JUDE

Excellent, and I know the perfect people to tell first. Kirsty, Jade, you got a sec?

KIRSTY and JADE walk across.

KIRSTY

Yeah, what’s up?

JUDE

You two are going to be the first to know that Charlotte and I are having twins.

JADE

Aw, no way.

KIRSTY

Cool.

JADE

Congratulations.

JUDE

Yep. And in exchange we want to know everything there is to know about being a twin. I mean, you guys are like totally connected all the time, yeah?

KIRSTY

Well, no, not as connected as you think, but congratulations guys. It’s really good news.

KIRSTY walks away.

JADE

I’m sorry guys. I’ve got to go. I’m going to be late for school.

JADE walks away.

JUDE

Well, our twins can with time. Who else can we tell?

COLLEEN is cleaning a table.

JUDE

Oh, how do you feel about telling everyone in Summer Bay at the same time?

CHARLOTTE

Game if you are.

JUDE

Colleen.

JUDE walks over to her.

SUMMER BAY HIGH

COLLEEN runs in carrying a tray of food. SHELLEY and IRENE are talking to other parents. ALF and RHYS are talking to each other.

ALF

Well this bloke can’t be that crash though.  They wouldn’t send anyone out of the top drawer up here for such a short term gig, would they?

RHYS

No, I suppose not.

ALF

Colleen, it’s all right. I can clear that away when we’re finished. You go, eh.

COLLEEN

Aw, no, no, no. It’s quite all right.

RHYS

Keen to check out the new fellow too, eh?

COLLEEN

Well I am a member of this community. I have a right to know how’s going to be responsible for our children. Oh, and speaking of children. You’d never guess what I just heard.

COLLEEN whispers in RHYS’S ear. DON and JUNE walk in.

JUNE

Quite a turnout, eh?

DON

Ah, yes, yes, it is rather.

PARIS walks up to DON and JUNE.

PARIS

Don, pleased you can make it?

DON

Ah, Mr. Burnett.

PARIS

Please, Paris.

DON

Em, this is a friend of mine, June Reynolds.

PARIS

Ah, June.

JUNE

How do you do?

PARIS

Pleasure to meet you. You have children at the school?

JUNE

Aw, goodness no. My son is way past secondary school age.

PARIS

Never have guessed. Please, help yourself to tea or coffee. We’re about to start, so if you just excuse me.

PARIS walks away.

JUNE

All charm. No intellect.

THE BEACH

NICK is on one boat. JADE is there. LARA is in another boat. SEB walks down to NICK’S boat.

NICK

This is going to be great.

JADE

Are you comfortable? Do you feel secure?

NICK

Yes, Jade. Don’t freak. This is going to be great.

JADE

This is going to give me a heart attack.

NICK

Baby, remember what the guy said. It’s impossible for this thing to capsize.

SEB

You ready?

NICK

Yes.

SEB

A hundred metres out. That’s it, right.

NICK

OK.

LARA

And we can’t be much longer guys because the meet and greet doesn’t go for that long and we don’t want to get busted.

NICK

Guys, just chill OK.

SEB pushes NICK’S boat out. He then pushes the other the boat out.

SUMMER BAY HIGH

SHELLEY, RHYS, COLLEEN, ALF, DON, IRENE and JUNE are all in a classroom. PARIS stands in front of them.

RHYS

Hey, show time.

ALF

Yeah.

COLLEEN

I can’t imagine what he’s going to say. He’s just a baby.

PARIS

Can I have your attention ladies and gentlemen?

IRENE indicates to PARIS to sort his tie. PARIS sorts his tie. SHELLEY looks at IRENE.

IRENE

It’s part of the job. I can hardly help myself.

PARIS

Thanks for coming along today. This afternoon for me is about establishing a line of communication between myself as principal  and with you, as parents and friends of the school. I’m sure some of you are surprised how young I am. I can assure you that for what I lack in experience I more than make up for enthusiasm.

RHYS

This must be killing Don.

PARIS

Eh, others might be thinking why flog a dead horse. The schools going to close at the end of the year. Well, that doesn’t matter to me. I’m here to provide the best possible education to the students while these doors remain open.

PARENT

Em, my son Tim came home raving about how you’re going to let the kids teach each other about drugs. What’s all that about?

PARIS

Oh, some of the students raised concerns that the drug syllabus didn’t cater for the world they lived in today. I encouraged them to formulate their own ideas on how they best be educated. If they come up with good ones, we’ll use them, under supervision. Eh, I believe that by making students active in there education they become enthusiastic about learning.

SHELLEY

Well it’s worked for my girls. They’re totally in.

PARENT

I have to admit. Tim wouldn’t shut up about it.

The people in the room laughs.

PARIS

That’s exactly the response we’re looking for. Now, I realise I have an enormous task ahead of me, filling Don Fisher’s shoes. I’ve walked into an excellent school and that is also because of him, but I also believe with all of your support we can maintain the standards of excellence right through to the end of the year,

The crowd applauds.

SHELLEY

Certainly knows how to work the crowd.

IRENE

Yeah, you’re not wrong there.

OUT AT SEA

NICK is in one boat. JADE, SEB and LARA are in the other boat.

SEB

Come on mate. You know the drill. Turn around.

NICK

This is awesome.

JADE

Come on Nick? You promised.

LARA

I’ve never seen him so excited.

JADE

This is how he used to be before the accident.

The engine stops on SEB, LARA and JADE’S boat.

JADE

What happened?

SEB

I don’t know.

LARA

Don’t we have any petrol?

SEB

No, we’ve got heaps.

JADE

Aw, no. Nick’s getting closer to the boats.

LARA

Aw, no.

JADE

What is he doing?

SEB

Nick.

LARA

Nick, turn.

NICK tries to turn the boat. He’s not able to and crashes into another boat.

SEB

Where is he? Nick

SEB jumps in the water. He starts swimming towards NICK’S boat.

JADE

Is he OK? Can you see him?

LARA

Yeah, he’s OK, but we’re drifting.

JADE

Well, put an anchor in.

LARA

We don’t have an anchor.

JADE

Well get an oar. Just row.

LARA and JADE try to row. JADE drops her oar in the water.

JADE

Aw, no. Seb.

SEB swims up to NICK’S boat.

SEB

Are you all right mate?

NICK

Man, did you see that smash?

SEB

You’re not hurt?

NICK

Aw, no. Don’t think so, but it’s a pity about this dinghy.

SEB

That’s Alf’s.

LARA

Seb.

SEB