Scripts - Episode 104

THE STEWART HOUSE

ROO sits on her bed. MORAG walks in.

ROO

I can’t do anything apart from sit here and try and make the time go faster.

MORAG

I’m sure.

ROO

How did you feel on your wedding day?

MORAG

Foolishly optimistic in the light of subsequent events. I want to tell you a story.

ROO

What’s this? The pre wedding prep talk.

MORAG

More a cautionary tale. Remember how I used to read them to you?

ROO

Ah, that’s right. What was that mans name again?

MORAG

Ellaya Belloch.

ROO

Ah, yeah. There was Matilda who always caught fire and Augustus who never ate his greens.

MORAG

This ones about Ruth who wouldn’t face the truth. I know.

ROO

What?

MORAG

The full story. The one about the young girl who was sent away to boarding school by her father because she was playing up and how she lost her virginity to get back at him, I suspect.

ROO

Auntie Morag.

MORAG

Unless you hear it all laid out, you’re not going to realise just how bad it sounds. You see, this young hadn’t paid enough attention to what she knew about precautions and she conceived and the father of the child will have no intention of marrying her so what could she do. She couldn’t go through with a termination.

ROO

I was frightened.

MORAG

That’s not important now. So, she devised a plan. She would trap the one boy she felt anything for into marrying her. She didn’t love him, but she cared for him.

ROO

I love him now, I do.

MORAG

I don’t doubt it, and that’s the tragedy. Anyway, she convinced her father that she had made up her ways and came home, then she made sure she was caught in the act with her perspective husband and announced that she was pregnant and nobody, not even the victim suspected that he wasn’t the father. Trap set, wedding planned, except that she didn’t know that Brett Macklin hadn’t had the mumps. Best laid plans.

ROO

Brett said he wouldn’t tell.

MORAG

I tricked it out of him.

ROO

What am I going to do?

MORAG

Get dressed.

HOGAN’S GENERAL STORE

AILSA writes a sign saying “Closed for Wedding of the Year! Frank Morgan and Roo Stewart soon to be Mr & Mrs Morgan!!” BOBBY walks in.

BOBBY

Anything you need done before I go.

AILSA

Ah, no thanks. There’s no reason you can’t spend the day here you know.

BOBBY

I’ll go nuts if I just hang around.

AILSA

As distinct to just hanging around outside.

BOBBY

I don’t know, I’ll find something to do. I might even go up to Yabbie Creek and visit Narelle or something.

AILSA

Lance’s cousin.

BOBBY

Well, she’s not bad for a day.

AILSA

Just so long as you keep away from the church.

BOBBY

Ah, what do you think I’ll do? Run in at the bit where it says any objections and spill my guts.

AILSA

After that stunt with the dress, who knows.

BOBBY

You know, nothing will save Frank now. We should have World War Three.

BOBBY walks out.

THE CHURCH

MORAG and ROO draw up outside in a car.

ROO

Why are we here?

MORAG

You know how much I care about you, don’t you?

ROO

I think so.

MORAG

And I know you’d never forgive me if I said anything and I love you too much to have you hate me.

ROO

You’re going to let us get married.

MORAG

All I said was that I’m not going to say anything, but I certainly hope you are.

MORAG gets out the car. MORAG and ROO are then walking down the aisle.

MORAG

When you walk down here, if you do, you will have to make certain vows. To love, honour and perish the thought in this day and age, obeying and Frank will be standing there hearing every word you say. Imagine how he’s going to feel when he realises that to con, dishonour and entrap are more to the point. The greatest mistake you can make is to marry him truly loving him knowing that he’ll end up hating you because that’s what will happen. Now, you’ll have to tell him the truth eventually. There’s no way Brett can have access to his child if you don’t and he told me you promised him that.

ROO

I’ll put it right. Frank will understand.

MORAG

Aw, he might, just might if you tell him before the wedding because if you wait until after he will hate you, just as surely as god is my witness.

ROO

I could take a chance.

MORAG

There is no chance Roo.

ROO

Brett might forget. He might not even want the baby once he’s born.

MORAG

He is the only son of an old money family and you are carrying his heir. Oh, I think it’s about time you were realistic, don’t you?

MORAG walks out. Later, FLOSS and NEVILLE are walking along carrying flowers. The REVEREND is putting up a sign.

REVEREND

Ah, come to decorate the church have you.

FLOSS

Got roped in by Celia.

REVEREND

Oh, I thought you and she weren’t talking.

FLOSS

Oh,  all that mechano nonsense. No, she calmed down.

NEVILLE

Forgiveness Reverend, a Christian virtue.

REVEREND

Amazing how many forget the fact when it suits them. Well, if there’s anything you want just give a yell.

NEVILLE

Will do Rev.

NEVILLE and FLOSS walk into the church.

NEVILLE

You’re in remarkably fine fettle, old girl.

FLOSS

Ah, only a few more hours to go.

NEVILLE

Yeah, nice to see two more starting married life, even if they are a bit on the young side.

FLOSS

Oh, I didn’t mean that. I was talking about the dream.

NEVILLE

Oh, don’t spoil the day by bringing that up.

FLOSS

There’s only a few hours to go and then all me worries will be over. There’s not a sign of a blue car, LGU 545 or otherwise. Young Frank’s going to be OK, thank god.

THE CARAVAN PARK

A car is driven into the caravan park with the registration number, LGU 545.

LANCE’S CARAVAN

LANCE, MARTIN, STEVEN and FRANK are there.

MARTIN

It belongs to Lance’s Uncle Roy, Narelle’s dad.

LANCE

Yeah, he got is so he could shoot me cousin Keno’s wedding.

MARTIN

Shot the whole lot before he twigged he wasn’t shooting the whole thing.

LANCE

Yeah, he made them go back and do it all again.

STEVEN

Must be pretty think.

LANCE

Yeah, hey.

STEVEN

Nothing Lance.

LANCE

Hey, were you having a got at me?

STEVEN

No.

TOM walks in.

TOM

Frank. Ah, can you come out here for a tick mate?

FRANK

Yeah, sure.

TOM

Ah, just Frank, thanks.

MARTIN

Hey, fair go Mr. F.

LANCE

Yeah.

MARTIN

We’re getting the whole day on video so Frankie’s kids can look back on it and see how much of a cool dude there old man was.

TOM

Yeah, all right. This bit is just between Frank and me, OK.

THE CARAVAN PARK

TOM shows FRANK his new car.

TOM

Aw, there you are. What do you reckon? Just a little something from me.

FRANK

It’s fantastic. You can’t afford this.

TOM

I already have. Just my way of, aw saying a few things. One of them is that I’m really proud of you. I don’t care what reason you’re get married for, you’ve got my support, one hundred percent and the other thing is, ah, I just want to say I’m sorry for getting heat up over that job thing.

FRANK

No.

TOM

No, I have been. It’s a bit of a worry starting again, my time of life, but I shouldn’t be taking that out on you and finally, well I’d just like to say you’re the best sort of kid that two people could wish to have. Anyway, here it is. Key to the doors, so to speak.

FRANK

I don’t know what to say.

TOM

Ah, well, the only really important thing you’ve got to say today is I do.

PIPPA walks up to them.

TOM

Hey Pip. Come have a look.

FRANK

It’s Tom’s wedding present. Hey, you weren’t worried that you blew the dough without asking her.

TOM

Ah, of course not.

SUMMER BAY HOUSE

TOM and PIPPA walk in.

TOM

Hey, not that premonition garbage.

PIPPA

Keep your voice down.

TOM

Aw, yes, yes. I don’t want you being certified.

PIPPA

I don’t want the kids hearing. I think the whole things frightening.

TOM

The frightening thing is you’re believing it.

PIPPA

It’s to coincidental to ignore. Floss dreamt the car, same number plate. We thought it was all over when Bobby.

TOM

When Bobby what?

PIPPA

Nothing.

TOM

Pip.

PIPPA

Don’t lose you’re cool, all right.

TOM

The only thing that is going to make me lose my cool is being kept in the dark. Well.

PIPPA

Franks first car.

TOM

Yeah.

PIPPA

Blue, LGV 545. Floss and Bobby both thought it was near enough to the one that Floss dreamt so you know how impulsive Bobby is she.

TOM

What, you mean she.

PIPPA

She burnt it. It wasn’t Bertram.

TOM

What? And you knew all about this all along.

PIPPA

I found out later. Come on. Calm down. There was no harm done. Neville and Bobby paid back the cost of the car, Frank was none the wiser and they thought they’d stopped anything happening. No one accounted on LGU actually turning up.

TOM

Would you mind giving me a bit of a pinch. Hey, perhaps I’m still in bed having a pre-wedding anxiety dream.

PIPPA

No such luck.

TOM

It was bad enough when Bobby left us because of all this rubbish and now you’re actions.

PIPPA

I’m not believing anything Tom. All I know is you just bought the car that Floss dreamt about weeks ago. Same colour, same number plate and she saw Frank die driving at some time before the marriage. Now I don’t care whether you think I’m losing my marbles or not, I don’t want Frank at the wheel of that thing till he and Roo are safely away and I’m not arguing Tom, I’m telling.

HOGAN’S GENERAL STORE

AILSA is there. There is knock on the door. AILSA answers it. It’s DON.

DON

Ah, thank goodness you’re still here. An emergency. One black shoelace.

AILSA

Aw, I don’t know if I’ve got any left.

DON

Aw no. Don’t say that. I’ll have to go home and change completely if you haven’t.

AILSA

Well, you could always wear white shoelaces. Tell the world you’re a closet ribber.

DON

Aw. Very amusing.

AILSA

Saved. One black shoelace on the house. One black shoelace on the house.

DON

Wonderful. Thank you. I snapped it after I’d hung up talking to Barbara. I was so dammed angry with her.

AILSA

Is she here already? Alf wasn’t expecting her till two.

DON

No, no, no. She was phoning from the city. Alan, my son, has had a surfing accident.

AILSA

Aw, nothing bad I hope.

DON

No, no, no. She says he’ll be all right, but she wants to be with him.

AILSA

So, she’s not coming?

DON

No.

AILSA

That’s a shame. I was looking forward to meeting her. So, why are you angry? I thought you’d be chuffed. You didn’t want her here.

DON

Well, the dammed woman was being so mysterious, hinting about something important and then refusing to talk about it over the telephone. I mean, I hate that sort of thing. Why can’t she just say what’s on her mind and be done with it?

NICO runs in.

NICO

Miss Ailsa, how do I look? Aw, g’day Mr. Fisher. What do you reckon? Gran didn’t have a bow tie so I made this meself. I’ve seen the pictures in a magazine, you see.

SUMMER BAY HOUSE

LANCE films FRANK walking into the house. MARTIN follows them.

FRANK

We’re going now. See you at the church.

MARTIN

We’ll do a parents come to watch their son drive away thing.

LANCE

A what?

MARTIN

Just shoot it. Make it artistic.

LANCE

Aw, right. No worries.

PIPPA and TOM walk in.

PIPPA

Tom will drive you.

FRANK

Why? When I just had the new car?

PIPPA

Leave it to after the wedding all right.

FRANK

Aw, come on. It will help me to forget the nerves. See you at the church, hey.

PIPPA

No.

TOM

Drop it Pip.

PIPPA

No. Have you got a minute?

FRANK

Yeah, sure.

MARTIN

Shoot that mate, the mother giving the son the birds and the bees talk.

LANCE

Why’s she talking about the birds and the bees for?

MARTIN

Just do it.

TOM

Just leave it alone OK.

MARTIN

It’s all in the name of art Mr. F.

TOM

Forget art OK.

MARTIN

OK, OK.

LANCE

What’s going on.

MARTIN

It’s nothing, it’s nothing.

FRANK

Why didn’t you just tell me. Of course you can drive.

PIPPA

Tom didn’t want to sound too sentimental, did you? It’s a tradition in his family. Father always drives the groom to the church. Isn’t that right darling?

TOM

Yeah, right.

FRANK

Let’s go hey. Starting to get nervous just hanging around.

FRANK walks out.

MARTIN

That’s our cue mate.

LANCE

What for?

MARTIN

Big family tradition. Dad drives son to the wedding. Mate, this video is going to be awesome.

LANCE and MARTIN walks out.

PIPPA

Thank you.

THE CHURCH

MARTIN and LANCE walk in filming the congregation. The REVEREND is speaking to FRANK and STEVEN at the front of the church.

REVEREND

The main thing is not to get nervous Frank.

FRANK

That’s easy for you to say.

REVEREND

And if you dry I’ll just prompt you with the response. It’s as simple as falling off a log.

FRANK

Yeah, fall on your face.

REVEREND

And you Steven, you’ve got the ring, I trust.

STEVEN

I’m not falling for that old cliché Rev.

REVEREND

Cliché.

STEVEN

Forgetting the ring.

REVEREND

Oh.

MARTIN

Hey, smile Rev.

SALLY. LYNN, PIPPA and TOM walk in.

PIPPA

Did he suspect anything?

TOM

Why should he?

PIPPA

Don’t be cross. It was all I could think of.

SALLY

Why are you whispering?

PIPPA

Ah, no reason sweetheart. Hey, you and Lynn go find a seat, same side as Frank.

SALLY

Why that side?

LYNN

Because the grooms friends sit on his side and brides friends sit on hers.

SALLY

But I’m friends with Roo and Frank.

PIPPA

Explain it to her sweetie.

SALLY and LYNN walk away.

PIPPA

Has Floss seen the car?

TOM

They were already in here.

PIPPA

Stops me worrying.

TOM

There’s no need to worry. It should be the happiest day of our live.

MATT walks up to them.

MATT

Mr. and Mrs Fletcher, would you like to meet my parents?

TOM

Yeah, I’d love to Matt. Lead on. Smile.

DON and NICO are outside.

NICO

You reckon this looks better than mine, do you?

DON

Much better Nico.

NICO

Thanks for lending it to me Mr. Fisher.

DON

My pleasure.

AILSA and CELIA arrive in AILSA’S car.

NICO

Hey, there’s Miss Ailsa. Can I go show her my new bow tie?

DON

Why don’t we wait for her inside?

NICO

OK. I’ll go find Lynn. Tell her how much Jesse’s enjoyed being at home. I am too.

NICO runs into the church. AILSA and CELIA are walking along outside the church.

CELIA

I don’t know what’s got into Morag.

AILSA

She’s never a mode of laughs at the best of times.

CELIA

Normally she’s just a.

AILSA

Celia.

LANCE starts filming them.

CELIA

No, I wouldn’t say it in front of the church of god, but today she was absolutely bizarre. Anyway, I better take up my position. Fingers poised on the organ keys. What a thrill to play for my own nieces wedding. I offered to sing, but for some reason Ruth didn’t want me to. Oh, I’m so excited. Donald.

DON

Celia.

CELIA walks inside.

DON

Crisis averted. Nico is a picture of sartorial elegance.

AILSA

Thanks Donald.

DON

Bride running to schedule, is she?

AILSA

Yes, but I don’t know.

DON

What does that mean?

AILSA

There’s some strange atmosphere at home, but I haven’t got a clue why.

DON and AILSA walk into the church.

THE STEWART HOUSE

ROO looks at herself in the mirror. ALF walks in.

ALF

You ready love. You look beautiful. All OK?

ALF walks out. MORAG walks in.

MORAG

Are you going Roo?

ROO

I don’t want to keep Frank waiting.

THE CHURCH

FRANK and STEVEN stand at the end of the aisle. CELIA starts playing the Bridal March. LANCE and MARTIN run in. The congregation laughs. They sit down next to FLOSS and NEVILLE. CARLY walks in followed by ALF and ROO the congregations stands. They walk down the aisle and ROO stands next to FRANK. The REVEREND is there.

REVEREND

We have come together here at the sight of god and in the presence of this congregation to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is an honourable state of life, instituted from the beginning by god himself.

PIPPA turns round and looks at FLOSS. FLOSS gives her the thumbs up.

THE BUSH

BOBBY walks along trying to break a stick.

REVEREND

Signifying to us the spiritual union that is between Christ and his church.

BOBBY breaks the stick.

THE CHURCH

The REVEREND is there with FRANK and ROO.

REVEREND

I chant you both, as you will announce before god, who is the judge of all and from whom no secrets are hidden, that if either of you know any reason you may not lawfully be joined together.

ROO hears MORAG in her head.

MORAG

She would trap the one boy she felt anything for into marrying her. She didn’t love him, but she cared for him.

ROO

I love him now, I do.

REVEREND

Otherwise, then gods word allows are not joined together by god. Frank, will you have Ruth as your wife?

MORAG

Imagine how he’s going to feel when he realises that to con, dishonour and entrap are more to the point. The greatest mistake you can make is to marry him truly loving him knowing that he’ll end up hating you because that’s what will happen.

FRANK

I will.

REVEREND

Ruth, will you have Frank as your husband, to live together as god has ordained in the holy state of matrimony.

ROO starts crying.

REVEREND

Will you love him, obey him, honour and protect him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live.

ROO

I can’t. It’s all my fault.

ROO runs out the church. FRANK follows her.

FRANK

Roo.

ROO falls over.

ROO

I lied. It’s not your baby.

Some of the congregation runs outside.

FRANK

Get inside.

FRANK runs over to ROO.

FRANK

What are you doing?

ROO

Don’t you understand, it’s not your baby. I’ve lied all along.

FRANK

What do you mean?

ROO

Brett, the guy you punched in the city, it’s his, but don’t think I don’t love you, because I do. I love you so much.

FRANK

That’s not true. No.

ROO

Frank.

FRANK runs and gets in his car.

PIPPA

Frank.

FRANK drives away.

A ROAD

FRANK drives along. BOBBY is walking along the road. FRANK drives towards her.

BOBBY

Frank.

FRANK crashes down an embankment. BOBBY looks at the crashed car.

BOBBY

Frank. Frank.