Scripts - Episode 3445

THE HOSPITAL

DR MORRIS and DR GARLAND are operating on ALF.

DR MORRIS

OK, stand clear. Damm it. Poor old man. And again two hundred. OK, stand clear. Nothing.

DR GARLAND

Nothing.

DR MORRIS

Adrenalin.

ALF’S DREAM-A WHITE ROOM

ALF and AILSA are there. They look down on the operating theatre.

ALF

He’s dead. I’m dead. Gee, I look old. I looked like an old man. How did that happen Ails when I felt so young inside?

AILSA

Aw, it’s only a package love to help you move around. It’s now who you are, anymore.

ALF

Ah, package. Well, I guess I won’t need that anymore.

AILSA

You’re at the crossroads love.

ALF

Crossroads, eh. So I haven’t finished me journey.

AILSA

Only you know that or you can come with me if that’s what you really want.

ALF

Of course it is. Peace and quiet. Nothing to worry about.

AILSA

True, except.

ALF

Hello, hello. Here’s the fine print eh. What’s the catch?

AILSA

You can come with me now or you can go back and finish the life you were supposed to live.

ALF

Go back. What for? It’s not like anyone would miss me much. Lets face it love. I’m a dinosaur.

AILSA

Is that how you see yourself, is it?

ALF

Well you’ve got to know your limitations, haven’t you? That’s what Clint Eastwood said in one of those early what’s it movies. Summer Bay wouldn’t even know I’m gone.

AILSA

You really think so. Come on then.

ALF’S DREAM-A ROAD

Summer Bay has been redeveloped. A shopping area has been built and people are enjoying themselves. ALF steps out onto a road. A car speeds by.

ALF

Flamin’ hoon.

ALF steps back beside AILSA.

ALF

Anyone would think he didn’t see us. Where are we?

AILSA

Don’t you know Alf. Can’t you guess/

ALF

It’s not.

AILSA

It’s Summer Bay in the future without Alf Stewart.

ALF

Strike me roan.

THE HOSPITAL

DR MORRIS and DR GARLAND are operating on ALF.

DR GARLAND

Two minutes thirty. Should be causing it.

DR MORRIS

Not yet Paul. Three sixty. OK.

DR GARLAND

Stand clear. Two minutes forty. Hugo.

DR MORRIS

I said not yet.

ALF’S DREAM-THE BEACHSIDE DINER

ALF and AILSA are there. The place is in disrepair. All the chairs are on the tables and the room is covered in cobwebs.

ALF

What in the world has happened here? Leah, how did it get like this?

AILSA

Leah hasn’t been here for years love.

ALF picks up a paper.

ALF

High-rise in the bay. Leah, what happened?

AILSA

She went back to the city with young VJ. Too many memories, too much. Beside she couldn’t afford to keep the place going without you.

ALF

What about Jesse? Why didn’t he help her?

AILSA

Jesse’s in prison Alf.

ALF

What for?

AILSA

Murder.

ALF

Strewth.

ALF’S DREAM-A PARK

DON is stands in front of a bulldozer.

DON

I’ll throw myself in front of the bulldozer if I have to, just as he would have done to save this club. I will make the supreme sacrifice if that’s what it takes.

WORKMAN

That might be a grand of a grand old man.

DON

Why not? What do I care?

ALF and AILSA watch it.

ALF

Strike me. That’s Don.

DON

Has the whole world gone mad?

AILSA

He’s doing this for you Alf.

DON

If Alf Stewart had lived to see this day.

WORKMAN

Alf who? Come on mate. Go spend your pension and shift your backside.

DON

Aw, very well.

DON walks away.

ALF

Good on you Don. He’s not that big and ugly we couldn’t take him. Hey Don. Don, it’s me mate.

ALF puts his hand on DON’S shoulder. DON turns around and sees no one.

ALF

He was supposed to start a new life after he retired. What happened?

AILSA

You died.

ALF

Aw, come on Ails. I’m not taking the rack for that. He knew I was dying. He was prepared.

AILSA

It’s not a case of taking the rack love. It’s just the way it is. Besides you were prepared, not him.

ALF

That’s the way it is, eh. This is what’s going to happen to my town, my club.

AILSA

It’s one scenario in a universe of infinite possibilities.

ALF

What about a straight answer Ails instead of all this gobbledygook. I tell you right now, I’m not going to start learning how to talk in hieroglyphics.

AILSA

All right Alf. This is the way things are in the future without you. You still think Summer Bay won’t know that you’ve gone.

ALF’S DREAM-THE SURF CLUB

JOSH and HAYLEY draw up in a car. ALF and AILSA are there. JOSH gets out the car.

ALF

That’s young Hayley in that car, isn’t it? I tell you what; she’s grown into a beautiful woman, hasn’t she?

JOSH

Well, are you coming? I though you wanted to say goodbye to this place.

HAYLEY

Since when did it matter what I want?

ALF

She’s not happy though, is she?

AILSA

Beautiful, yes, and you should see the kids, they’re gorgeous, but no, the West’s aren’t happy in spite of their success.

ALF

So, she’s married him. What about Noah? I always thought.

AILSA

Noah, another story.

HAYLEY

Can we just get a move on? I promised the nanny we’d take the kids out for lunch.

JOSH

Come on.

HAYLEY gets out the car. They walk away.

ALF

Ah, this isn’t right Ails. Blind Freddie could see that they’re not meant to be together and what about the kids eh. Poor little coots.

AILSA

Ah, yes, the kids always suffer, don’t they Alf?

ALF

You mean Duncan. Why can’t anyone see me Ails?

AILSA

They can if you want them to, but not as you. It must be a stranger, someone they don’t know.

ALF

All right, but no funny business. I don’t mind not being me as long as I’m respectable. Don’t turn me into some strange looking bloke who’s going to scare the living daylights out of the locals eh. I’ve got a reputation to protect.

AILSA

Of course you do and I thought you said nobody would remember you?

ALF sees a reflection in a window. He is a black man.

THE STRANGER

Strike me roan Ails. I’ll have lynched for this. You’ll see if I don’t.

AILSA

Smile Alf. It will do you good to walk in somebody else’s shoes for a while.

JOSH and HAYLEY are inside. THE STRANGER walks in.

HAYLEY

Hi. I’m afraid it’s all closed down. Did you want something?

THE STRANGER

Em, no. I used to know this place quite a few years back and I never thought I would see it like this.

JOSH

Hey Hayley, look at this. It’s a photograph of Alf winning the surf fishing contest. What a character?

THE STRANGER

Friend of yours, was he?

JOSH

Alf Stewart. I don’t know about friend. This guy gave me a lot of grief. I wanted to throttle him most of the time.

THE STRANGER

Alf Stewart, eh. Yeah, I’ve heard of him when I was last around these parts. Quite a remarkable fellow, eh. Pillar of the community and all that,

AILSA kicks ALF.

ALF

Ahl.

HAYLEY

Is something wrong?

THE STRANGER

Cramp. Get them all the time.

AILSA

Yes, every time you open your mouth to change feet. Aw, you’re disgraceful Alf. Even death won’t stop you.

ALF

Sorry.

HAYLEY

Aw, that’s OK. So, you knew Alf.

THE STRANGER

Ah, yeah. Only by reputation. I passed by here a few times and I think you were the lifeguard then.

JOSH

Oh, yeah. Back in the days when I was dropping out and killing time. No time for that now though. Oh, don’t get me wrong. Alf Stewart was very, very good to me.

HAYLEY

Yeah, Alf was good to everyone. He just came across as a grump sometimes.

HAYLEY and THE STRANGER walk into the area where the gym used to be.

THE STRANGER

This was a gym, wasn’t it?

HAYLEY

Yeah, I worked here back in the days when there was something to look forward to.

THE STRANGER

Doesn’t look like old Alf left any dreams to hang on to?

HAYLEY

Ah, I messed up my own dreams. I can’t blame Alf for my husband. Hey, I have everything money can buy.

THE STRANGER

But nothing you want, eh.

HAYLEY

The children, Danielle and Brodie, they’re everything.

THE STRANGER

Why don’t you dream again Hayley? It’s not dead. You just misplaced it. Find it again. Make it real.

HAYLEY

Yeah, I just wish I knew how. Hey, how did you know my name?

ALF and AILSA walk along outside.

ALF

I’m just worried about young Hayley. I wish there was something I could do for her.

AILSA

What makes you think there isn’t? Come on Alf.

ALF’S DREAM-A SHOPPING AREA

AILSA and ALF walk along. A bunch of kids barges pass them.

ALF

Excuse me is the word you’re searching for.

AILSA

They can’t hear you Alf or see you for that matter remember.

ALF and AILSA are now standing on a balcony.

ALF

Just as well. A good swift kick up the backside doesn’t carry much weight from an invisible foot?

IRENE walks along.

ALF

Hey, is that who I think it is? Geez, I tell you what Ails. I hardly recognise her, eh. Uni hasn’t done our Irene much good, has it?

AILSA

These days she keeps house for Donald. The past few years haven’t been kind.

ALF

But she still has got her own place? Oh, I see. That’s another one of those questions that are off limits, is it? Whoever’s making the rules up up there must have been in the army.

IRENE and FLYNN walk along.

IRENE

Things are no better then darl?

FLYNN

Ah, she’s working eighteen hours a day. I can’t handle that. I always knew she would be busy.

ALF

Sally, so Don made the right decision.

AILSA

Will you just listen. Honestly, for goodness sake.

ALF

Which one?

FLYNN

I just want her to be well and off the depression tablets. I think that’s the most important thing Irene. Maybe none of this would ever happened if we hadn’t lost the baby.

ALF

Aw, no. They lost the baby. After all the trouble they went through.

ALF’S DREAM-SUMMER BAY HOUSE

ALF and AILSA walk in. A bookshelf is full of books by MJ. Sutherland.

ALF

MJ Sutherland. Not our Max?

AILSA

The very same. He left the house to Colleen a few years back, but she gambled away any chance of running it.

ALF

Death, once and always. Good title, eh. Not true though, is it?

COLLEEN walks in.

ALF

Poor old duck. She deserves better than this. I would never let her get this bad.

COLLEEN goes into the fridge. There is only one jug there.

AILSA

Ah, but you weren’t here, were you Alf? Come on Alf, lets go.

ALF’S DREAM-A SHOPPING AREA

Two youngsters are spray painting a sign. ALF and AILSA walk up to them.

ALF

Hey, stop that now. Ails.

THE STRANGER

Oi, cut that out.

WAYNE

Back off. It’s none of your business.

THE STRANGER

Suppose I make it my business.

KID

Yeah, you and who’s army ugly buck.

THE STRANGER

You’ve got quite a nasty mouth on you son.

KID

You’ve got a head that belongs in a paper bag, garbage breath. Come on Wayne. Something stinks around here.

THE STRANGER

Strike me. Time to teach you beggars a lesson. Oi.

THE STRANGER chases after the two boys. ALF is out of breath.

ALF

Aw, I tell you Ails. Its not much good looking younger if you still run like an old billy goat. Can’t you turn the thunderbolts to slow them down a bit.

The youngsters run into a drunken NOAH. THE STRANGER walks up to him.

THE STRANGER

Are you OK, mate?

NOAH

It’s broken. My bottle. I mean, why did they do that? Why?

THE STRANGER

Come on mate.

NOAH

Yeah, I can manage on my own.

THE STRANGER

Noah, Noah Lawson.

NOAH

Do I know you?

NOAH walks away. ALF and AILSA are talking.

AILSA

I know. It’s a tragedy, isn’t it? A wasted life.

ALF

That kid ran for council only last year.

AILSA

Long time ago love.

ALF

How can this happen?

AILSA

Like I told you.

ALF

No, no, no. Don’t say a word Ails. Don’t say it.

ALF’S DREAM-THE PALACE

IRENE and NOAH are there.

IRENE

Aw Noah, will you stop it. If you choose to live like a pig that’s your choice, but your drinking yourself into an early grave?

NOAH

Well, you know I could use the company tonight Irene. Hey, if you just loosen up a little there.

IRENE

Yeah, I reckon you could loosen up for both of us mate. Hey, you promised me you were going to go after that job in Yabbie Creek today.

NOAH

Well, hey, you know, that’s me. One broken promise after another. Pretty much what you expect from a loser.

IRENE

Aw, love. I could tell you a hundred times when you weren’t a loser. When you stood up to me, when you took care of all those kids at the drop-in centre.

NOAH

But the drop-in centre isn’t there anymore, is it? None of that counts anyway, not since the accident.

IRENE

Aw, love. The only person that blames you for that is you. You weren’t responsible.

NOAH

I don’t believe that Irene. Neither do you?

ALF and AILSA are watching them.

ALF

Accident. What accident?

HAYLEY walks in.

IRENE

G’day darl. Look at you. You look absolutely fabulous. I love the hair. It’s very glamorous. It’s been to long between visits.

HAYLEY

Yeah, I planned to come around home a bit later on. Josh will be out all day seeing to the demolition.

IRENE

Well maybe you both could to stay for tea. I mean it won’t be nothing flash, of course. No horte cuisine, but I’m sure Josh will survive and if you need to, you know you could always stay.

HAYLEY

Yeah, I know, thank you Irene. Yeah, em, we’ll see you later on, OK.

IRENE

OK. See you later.

IRENE walks out.

NOAH

You look great.

HAYLEY

You don’t.

NOAH

Thanks for nothing. Is that why you came round here? How’s the house in yuppie land with the perfect kids?

HAYLEY

Noah. Why are you drinking yourself to death?

NOAH

Why are you with the husband you don’t love?

HAYLEY

Because, because maybe I don’t know what else to do.

NOAH

Ditto.

HAYLEY

I want to be able to tell you, to talk to you the way we used to.

NOAH

That isn’t us Hayls. That’s two different people.

HAYLEY

Maybe, but I look at you and myself. It could have been different. What happened to the man I fell in love with?

NOAH

I lost for him a long time ago.

HAYLEY

Well you can look for him. Go back and find him.

NOAH

That’s a nice thought, but we both know it doesn’t work. You can never really go back.

NOAH walks out.

ALF

Is that true Ails? You can never really go back.

THE HOSPITAL

DR GARLAND and DR MORRIS are treating ALF.

DR GARLAND

How long?

DR MORRIS

Three minutes ten.

DR GARLAND

You go. Call it.

ALF’S DREAM-A WHITE CORRIDOR

ALF and AILSA walk along the corridor.

ALF

Is that all?

AILSA

Not quite. There’s someone I want you to talk to.

ALF’S DREAM-DON’S HOUSE

THE STRANGER sits in a seat. DON turns around.

DON

What? How did you get in here?

THE STRANGER

Door was open.

DON

It was not.

THE STRANGER

No, it wasn’t.

DON

Get out, before I call the police.

THE STRANGER

Strewth Don. That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think? I only want to talk to you.

DON

How do you know my name? Do I know you?

THE STRANGER

In a manner of speaking, yes. We go back quite a long way, you and me.

DON

No. I think I’d remember if I knew you. I’ve never seen you before Mr.

THE STRANGER

Stewart.

DON

Stewart. I had a friend of that name, a long while ago now.

THE STRANGER

I’m still your friend Don. Always have been, always will be.

DON

What is this? Some kind of cruel joke. Alf Stewart lost his mind and has been dead for years. If you think you can convince me I’m losing mine.

THE STRANGER

We’ve always believed in each other Don. I need you to believe in me now. It’s me, Alf.

DON

I may be an old man, but I’m not a stupid one. Now you leave, you leave my house immediately.

THE STRANGER

You’re afraid to believe aren’t you, just as you were afraid to walk over those hot coals. If I hadn’t have taken your hand you would never have done it.

DON

How did you know that? Only Alf and I knew about that. How did you?

THE STRANGER

That’s what I’m trying to tell you. It’s me. It’s Alf.

DON

Alf, it’s really you, but how? What are you doing here?

THE STRANGER

Be lied if I know mate. It’s Ailsa’s way of keeping me out of heaven. The things I’ve seen.

DON

Everything’s changed Alf. The town we loved has gone. The.

THE STRANGER

Fight for it Don. You can get it back.

DON

I don’t have the heart for it anymore. I’ve run out of fight.

THE STRANGER

Blarney. You get out of that chair and you fight for it one last time Don. Not for me, for you.

DON

Ah, you don’t understand Alf. It’s too late. There’s too many memories. It’s better to let it go. After what happened to Seb.

THE STRANGER

What happened to Seb?

DON

Tragic.

ALF looks at AILSA.

ALF’S DREAM-THE GRAVEYARD

AILSA and THE STRANGER walk up to SEB’S gravestone.

THE STRANGER

Aw Seb. Oh no, not Sebastian. How?

AILSA

Motorbike accident. It was Noah’s bike.

THE STRANGER

Senseless. Those lives wasted. I hate it all. Can I change it if I choose to live? Is there another story?

AILSA

There’s always another story Alf, but something’s are destiny and something’s are changeable. I can’t tell you what you can rewrite if you choose to live.

THE STRANGER

Life ought to be easier after your dead, eh.

AILSA

 That’s true love, but your not dead yet.

ALF walks up to the stranger.

THE STRANGER

Time to go, eh.

ALF

I reckon. Thanks mate.

THE STRANGER

No worries. Take care, eh.

THE STRANGER disappears.

ALF

I’ve seen enough.

ALF’S DREAM-THE WHITE CORRIDOR

ALF and AILSA are there.

ALF

What if this is all a game? What if you’re the same Ailsa that’s been haunting me all the time and what if this is just some cheap trick for you to stay alive?

AILSA

I can’t prove that to you Alf, that’s why it’s called faith.

ALF

And what if you’re not and I live and I never see you again.

AILSA

Not until it’s time for you really to go.

ALF

And I suppose there’s no way knowing to man I can change a damm thing.

AILSA